生活大爆炸第七季:第9集:弄假成真的婚姻(上)（打印版）

The math is all there. It's not real. Yes, it is. Yeah... uh, look. It is scientifically impossible for a person to tip a cow. 我们都算过了，那是不可能的，才不是，是真的!你看啊，从科学的角度说，一个人想要把一头牛绊倒是绝对不可能的

Even you, with your stocky build and lumberjack shoulders, you couldn't do it. 就算是你这种敦实健壮的女汉子也是不可能的

It's horrible. Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred. 太恶劣了，你们干嘛要把牛推倒?牛是神圣的动物

Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat, like, a million hamburgers. 你还有脸说，你都吃了几千几万个汉堡了(夹着牛肉饼)

Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious. 动物可以既神圣又美味的

Look, I'm telling you I've done it, okay? I clearly remember the cow standing up and then the cow on its side. 我不骗你们，我真的干过，我清楚地记得那头牛先是站着的，后来就倒在了地上

I was 16 in Nebraska. What do you think? 我当时可是16岁的西部牛仔小青年，你觉得呢?

I think you're the one who fell over. 我觉得你才是那个摔倒的

That would explain why the sky was also on its side. 难怪当时天空也是倒着的

Howard. Cow tipping: real or not? Mmm. I'm gonna say... not. 霍华德，推倒一头牛，你觉得是真的吗?我觉得应该是假的

That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring. 我是根据在我妈打呼时我想给她翻个身的经历得出的

Speaking of that big side of beef, uh, she's invited all of you to Thanksgiving at her house. 说到我这个大肉球老妈啊，她邀请你们所有人来她家过感恩节

You know, I've been told that a bald refusal of an invitation is rude and one must instead offer up a polite excuse, so... 他们告诉我直接拒绝别人的邀请很不礼貌，应该给一个客气的借口，所以...

I'd love to go, but, unfortunately, that sounds awful. 我想去的，但很遗憾，这个主意简直太可怕了

Uh, we were actually gonna do it here. 其实我们想在这儿过节的

Please. Bernadette's bringing her dad 'cause her mom's out of town, and I never have anything to say to that guy. 拜托了，伯纳黛特要带她老爸过来因为她妈妈有事出去了，我跟他完全没话讲啊

Oh, since you put it that way, I'd love to go, but that sounds even more awful. 既然你这么说了，我想去的，但这听起来更可怕了

It'd actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day. 其实不用听Sheldon整天跟我抱怨菜很难吃也挺好的

Yo... uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. 容我说一句，每年你都做一桌难吃的菜，每年我都批评你

Do our traditions mean nothing to you? 我们的这个传统对你来说就一点也不重要吗?

But if her food is delicious, Thanksgiving is ruined, and it's on you. 但是如果她做的菜很好吃，感恩节就算毁了，而且全都是你的错

Do we really have to go to Mrs. Wolowitz's house? 我们真的一定要去沃罗威茨夫人家吗?

We do. And I expect you to be on your best behavior. 当然，而且我希望你能表现出最好的一面

Now I know how the African slaves felt. 我现在知道非洲奴隶的心情了

Being dragged from their homes to labor under the yoke of the white man. 从家里被人拖走，在白人的统治下劳动

Are you honestly comparing Thanksgiving dinner at Wolowitz's mom's with one of the greatest tragedies in the history of mankind? Yes. 你真的是要把去沃罗威茨妈妈家吃感恩节晚餐和人类历史上最大的悲剧之一相提并论吗?嗯

Sheldon, you can have a nice Thanksgiving anywhere. I spent one in Vegas. 谢尔顿，不论在哪儿，你都可以过一个开心的感恩节，我有次就在拉斯维加斯过的

You did? Yeah, back when I was dating Zack. 真的?是啊，我当时还在跟扎克谈恋爱

It was actually more fun than I thought. 比我想的要有意思多了

We gambled, we went to one of those cheesy wedding chapels, we had a really good turkey dinner. Which was surprising, since we were at a strip club. 赌赌博呀，逛逛那种山寨的婚礼小教堂呀，那顿火鸡晚餐真的很棒，很让人惊喜，因为我们是在脱衣舞夜总会吃的

Yeah. Why? We had one of those silly fake weddings. 是呀，怎么了?我们还办了那种超搞笑的假婚礼

Penny...you know those are real, right? 佩妮……你知道那是真的结了婚，对吧?

At any point, was Las Vegas on its side? 是不是有那么一段时间，拉斯维加斯是躺着的?

Oh, you brought beer for everybody. 哇，你给大家都带了啤酒

Uh, okay, yeah, it's for everybody. 好吧，是的，这是给大家喝的

I really just wanted to have a nice, quiet day at home and watch the game. 我本来只是想安安静静地在家看球赛的

You can have a quiet day and watch the game here. 在这里也可以安静地看球赛呀

Howard, the medicine's not working! 霍华德，这药不管用!

You just took it. At least let it reach your first stomach! 你才刚吃下去，起码等这药到你的第一个胃再说吧!

Hey, Mike. Let me help you out, there. Thanks. What's wrong with your mom? 你好呀，迈克。我来帮你拿，谢谢，亲家母怎么了?

Oh, her gout's flaring up. Turns out an apple pie a day does not keep the doctor away. 她的痛风又发作了，看来每天一个苹果派不能让医生远离你

How can one little toe hurt so bad? 一个小小的脚指头怎么能痛成这样?

Maybe because that little piggy is being crushed by the barn! 可能是因为那头小猪（脚指头）正被牲口棚压着呢!

She should quiet down soon. I gave her enough pain meds to choke a... well, her. 她马上就能安静下来了，我给她吃了能把一头...把她放倒的止痛药

I guess we're gonna have to do all the cooking. 看来得我们自己来做饭了

If you think you're gonna make me do all this by myself, you're crazy. I was gonna make Raj do it all by himself. 如果你想全让我来做，你脑子就有问题，我是想全让拉杰来做

No traffic, we're sailing. 不堵车，真是一帆风顺呀

Yes. Like we're on a ship. 是啊。我们就好像在船上

Sheldon, that's completely inappropriate. You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave. 谢尔顿，这完全不合适，你不能一直把你自己和奴隶相比

I can't believe you're married to that idiot. 真是难以相信你居然和那个白痴结婚了

Ugh, would you stop? We just did it as a goof. 能不能别再说了?我们这么做只是玩玩而已

A goof or not, you're actually married. You need to get this taken care of. I will. Why are you making this such a big deal? 不管你们是不是认真的，你的确已婚了，你必须把这件事料理好。我会的，为什么你这么大惊小怪的?

Oh, oh, oh, I have a reason. 哦哦哦，我是有个理由

It could be because you said yes to marrying Zack, but every time Leonard's proposed, he's gotten a resounding no. 也许是因为你和扎克结婚了，但是每次莱纳德求婚时，他都会得到一个响亮的"不"

Yeah, that's just off the top of my head. 是啊，这只是我立刻能想到的理由

I'm hoping you can get an annulment. It's just like it never happened. 我希望你能废除这个婚姻，就好像从来没发生过一样

Great, well, what do I have to do? 好极了，那么我该怎么做呢?

It says here you can get an annulment if any of the following conditions are met. 上面说以下这些情况满足的话，你就可以废除婚姻了

"Were you unable to consummate the marriage?" Penny? Next. 你是否无法完成夫妻生活?哈哈，佩妮?下一条

"Is there any evidence of fraud, bigamy, want of understanding?" 是否有任何欺骗，重婚，或者理解匮乏?

"Want of understanding?" What does that even mean? Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. 理解匮乏?那是什么意思?叮叮叮，我们找到赢家了

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food. 如果今天没有印度人给你们做菜的话，今天就不能算得上感恩节了

Uh, now, where does your mom keep the Crisco? 唔，你妈妈把油放哪了?

Um, I don't know. Probably in a wad in her cheek. 唔，我不知道。大概在她脸上的一团肉里吧

I'll help Raj in here. Why don't you go keep my dad company? 我在这里帮拉杰，你为啥不去陪陪我爸爸呢?

Oh, he doesn't want me in there. I'm the creepy little guy who has sex with his daughter. 他不想我呆在那，我是那个睡了他女儿的变态的小矮子

Don't be silly, he loves you. Does he? 别傻了，他爱你的，是吗?

Okay, he cares about you a lot. Really? 好吧，他很关心你，真的吗?

I do crap for you all the time. Get out there. 我总是为你擦屁股，滚粗去

So your wife's in Arizona with the grandkids? Uh-huh. 那么你妻子去亚利桑那州看孙子了?嗯

You know, my mom's been to... Arizona. 知道吗，我老妈曾经去过亚利桑那

She rode one of those mules down in the Grand Canyon. 她曾骑驴到大峡谷里

Long story short, they had to shoot it. 简而言之，他们不得不把驴杀了

I'll get the door while you finish laughing. 我去开门，你接着笑

Is anyone slaving away in the kitchen? Because I, too, know... Sheldon. 是不是有人在厨房里干苦力呢?因为我也知道...谢尔顿

Oh, she's mad at me because she just found out she's married to Zack. 哦，她生我的气，因为她发现她已经和扎克结婚了

Really? That dumb-ass she used to date? That's hysterical. 真的?你以前约会的那个二货?太搞笑了

I can't believe I felt bad for opening this in the car. 不敢相信我在车里打开酒时居然会觉得抱歉

Uh, yeah, can you, uh, reach that, uh, gravy boat up there? 嗯，你能把那个肉汁壶拿过来吗?

Uh, sure. Great. That makes one of you. 当然，好的，总算有人能够得着了

Okay, we have a lot to do and not much time to do it. 好的，我们要做很多事但是时间却不够了

Bernadette, you're on corn, gravy and yam detail. 伯纳黛特你负责玉米，肉汁和红薯

Amy, you're on rolls, cranberries and making sure Bernadette stays away from the marshmallows. 艾米，你负责面包卷，小红莓，并且确定伯纳黛特不再偷吃棉花糖

Okay, if you have any questions, I'll be over here basting my ass off. 好的，如果有任何问题，我就在这里忙着给我的烤火鸡涂汁

Focus is key. Did you guys know Penny married Zack three years ago? What? Wha...? 专注是最关键的，你们知不知道三年前佩妮和扎克已经结婚了?什么? 什...?

You ever play football? A little in college. You? No. 你打过橄榄球没?大学时打过。你呢?没有

But I did get tackled in the hallway once. 但是我在走廊被拦截摔倒过一次

Hey, I found the, uh, court papers that you and Zack need to fill out. I'll print them when we get home. Fine. 嗨，我找到了你和扎克需要填写的法律文件了，当我们回家的时候我就把它打印出来，好的

And we can just put this whole thing behind us. Are you done? What? 然后我们就当他完全没发生过够了没?

Look, I get it, I screwed up. Is this all we're gonna talk about the rest of the day? 怎么了? 听着，我知道了，我犯了错，我们接下来的一整天都要一直谈论这个吗?

Why are you mad at me? You're the one that did the stupid thing. I'm just trying to fix it. Ugh! I need some air. 干啥冲我发火?你才是那个做傻事的人，我只是在想解决办法，噢!我要去透透气

Penny Well... Now, I don't know the first thing about women, but I would not follow her. 佩妮...我不知道和女人相处的第一准则是什么，但是我不会追她的

She's the one who married someone else. I'm the victim. 她才是和别人结婚的人，我是受害者

Sounds like Zack's the victim. You're sleeping with his wife. 听起来扎克才是受害者，你把他老婆睡了

I've kept my marriage together for 35 years. Can I weigh in here? Sure. 我已经结婚35年了，我能在这儿发表点意见吗?当然

I'm trying to watch the game. Shut up. 我想看比赛，闭嘴。

生活大爆炸第七季:第9集:弄假成真的婚姻(上)（在线收听）