Oh, it all comes down to this! 一切就为了这个!

Oh, I've got butterflies. Don't get soft on me, Hofstadter. I will slap those glasses right off your face. 我现在好紧张。不要给我畏畏缩缩的，霍夫斯塔特，我会一巴掌扇飞你的眼镜

What's going on? Hey. We're about to buy tickets for Comic-Con. Oh. 什么情况?嘿，我们马上要买动漫大会的票。哦

T Minus 45 seconds! 最后45秒!

They sell out incredibly fast, but as long as one of us gets in, we can buy passes...Good Lord, this is not the time for flirting! Keep it in your pants! 票卖得出奇的快，不过只要一个人能登陆进去，我们就可以买到票...我的天，现在不是打情骂俏的时候!别让精虫上脑!

It's a whole lot of weird before coffee. 不喝咖啡还真接受不了这种诡异的事

T-minus 30 seconds! 最后30秒!

Oh, I have to go to the bathroom so bad. 我实在超想去上个厕所

Every year! I told you, wear a diaper! And I told you I get diaper rash! 每一年!我都叮嘱你，穿个尿布!都跟你说了我有尿布疹!

15 seconds! Oh, this is it! This is it! This is it. 最后15秒!要来了!要来了!要来了

Five, four, three, two, one. It's live. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 五，四，三，二，一，开始抢票啦，抢!抢!抢!抢!抢!

Anyone in?! No! Not yet! Nope! 谁进去了?!不!还没!

Do not stop refreshing your screens! Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh... 千万别停止刷新!刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新...

Yeah, this is not gonna be enough coffee. 这点咖啡远远不够

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. 刷新，刷新，刷新

Refresh... Refresh... Refresh... Refresh... Refresh... Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. 刷新...刷新...刷新...刷新...刷新...刷新，刷新，刷新

Refresh. It's been ten minutes! We're running out of time. 刷新，已经过去10分钟了!我们快没时间了

To be cool? Yeah. 没时间扮酷?说的没错

I did it! I did it! I'm in the queue! 我进去了!我进去了!排队买票中!

And they say firefighters are the real heroes. 俗话说得好，消防员才是真正的英雄

Uh, what number in line are you? 额，你排在第几号?

Uh, 15... Great! ...thousand, 211 Damn! Oh! 额，15...太棒了! ...15211号，该死!

Oh, they only have Thursday and Sunday passes left. Really? 他们只剩下周四和周日的票了。真的?

Oh, Thursday's gone. Just Sunday left. Oh, Sunday's the worst! 周四的票也没了，只剩下周日，周日的票最烂了!

Everybody's leaving, most of the good panels are over, and the only T-shirts they have left are small and XXXXL. 到了周日人都开始离场，大多数好的座谈也结束了，T恤也只剩下小码和加加加加大码

Sunday's gone. Not Sunday! I love Sunday! 周日的票也卖光了。我不要!我超爱周日!

So that's it? Everything's sold out? Yeah. 就这样?所有票都卖光了?是的

I can't believe we're not going. It's okay. 我实在不敢相信我们去不了动漫大会。没关系啦

You know, there-there's always WonderCon in Anaheim, you know? 在阿纳海姆还有WonderCon(也是一个动漫大会)

That-That's just as good. Excuse me. 那个也挺好的。失陪一下

Oh, guys, this is really sad. 小伙伴们，太悲哀了

And in a different way than it was 20 minutes ago. 虽然说20分钟前你们是另一种悲哀

I can't believe we wasted all that time on our Hulk costumes. 不敢相信我们把时间都浪费在绿巨人服装上了

What? You were all going as the Hulk? 什么?你们准备组团扮绿巨人吗?

Not the same Hulk. 不是同一个绿巨人

Ferrigno, Bana, Norton and Ruffalo. 费里尼奥版，巴纳版，诺顿版和鲁法洛版的

We would have been the angry green belles of the masquerade ball. Yeah. 我们本可成为假面舞会上愤怒的绿美人的。就是啊

And we're back to the first kind of sad. 我们又回到了第一种可悲的状态

Gentlemen, I have the solution to our Comic-Con problem. 先生们，我找到解决动漫大会问题的办法了

We don't need them. 我们不需要他们

I'm starting my own convention. 我决定举办我自己的动漫展

Sheldon, just buy scalped tickets with us. 谢尔顿，就和我们一起买黄牛票好了

I told you. Buying scalped tickets is against the rules. 我告诉过你，买黄牛票是违反规定的

If you get caught, you get banned from Comic-Con for life. Life, Leonard. 如果被抓了，动漫大会你就终生禁入了。那可是终生啊，莱纳德

You're gonna feel pretty silly when we're 80 years old, and you have to drive me down there and then wait in the car for three days. 当我们80岁的时候就会觉得自己太蠢了，你只能开车载我到那，然后在车里等上三天

Do what you want. 你爱干嘛干嘛

We're getting scalped tickets. Oh, I already found a guy online who's willing to sell. 我们准备买黄牛票了。我已经在网上找到一个愿意卖票的哥们儿了

How do you know this isn't a sting operation set up by the Comic-Con police? 你怎么能知道这不是动漫大会警察策划的一场卧底行动呢?

The same way I know that the people in the TV set can't see me. 就像我知道电视里的人看不见我一样

Sheldon, just come with us. You're not gonna make your own convention. 谢尔顿，就和我们一起吧，你自己开动漫展是没戏的

You know, there was a time when Comic-Con didn't exist at all until one lone dreamer with a unique vision made it happen. 你知道吗，这个世界本没有动漫大会，直到一位具有独特视野的孤独梦想家实现了这个梦想

And you mark my words-I'm gonna rip that guy off. 你们记住我的话:我一定撕了他的皮

Yes, I'm starting my own comic book convention, 是的，我正在筹备自己的动漫展

and I thought that your client, Robert Downey Jr., would be perfect to appear on our first panel. 我认为你的客户，小罗伯特·唐尼(钢铁侠扮演者)，出席我们的首次漫展是再完美不过了

Oh, well, now, why are you saying "no"? You haven't even asked him yet. 噢好吧，为什么你说不?你还没有征求他的意见呢

You know, excuse me, but I sat through Iron Man 2. I believe he owes me two hours of his time. 你知道不，请原谅我的直接，但我是耐着性子看完钢铁侠2的，我觉得他欠我他两个小时的时间

They hung up on me. 他们居然挂我电话

Did you tell them th you're holding your convention at a Marie Callender's, and that every panelist gets a free slice of pie? 你有没有告诉人家你准备在玛丽·卡伦德餐厅举行漫展，每位嘉宾都能免费得到一块派?

I didn't even get to that part. 我还没来得及说到那儿呢

Look, even your friend Wil Wheaton thinks this is a waste of time. 听着，连你的朋友威尔·惠顿都觉得这是在浪费时间

Not true. Wil thinks this is a great idea. 你错了。威尔认为这是一个极好的主意

He was just concerned that he wasn't a big enough celebrity to headline such an amazing event. 他就是有点担心他的腕不够大不能在这么一个别开生面的活动中登上头条

Also, that's the same day that he shampoos his beard. 还有，那天是他洗胡子的日子

Sheldon, buddy, I just don't think this is going to come together for you. 谢尔顿，伙计，我不认为你能够成功举办这个活动

You don't know that. 你有所不知

I still have plenty of solid leads on this list. 我的名单上还有很多顶尖人物呢

Good luck. No, wait. I need you to call Stan Lee, Leonard Nimoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy... 'cause, legally, I'm not allowed to. 祝你好运，不，等等，我要你帮我打电话给斯坦·李和伦纳德·尼莫伊，还有教儿童科学的比尔·奈...因为按规定我不能联系这些人

Oh, and, also, Carrie Fisher, you know, 'cause I hear she can be pretty nuts. 哦，对了，还有凯丽·费雪，你知道的，因为听说她有点疯疯癫癫

I can't believe Leonard is spending hundreds of dollars on scalped tickets. 真是难以置信，莱纳德居然要花好几百美元买黄牛票

Last week, you spent that on a little dress. 上个星期，你一条小裙子就花这么多

Yeah, but those tickets only get him into Comic-Con. 是啊，但是那些票只能让他进动漫大会

That dress gets me into anywhere I want. 穿那条裙子，我想去哪都成

Those tickets were pretty expensive. 那些票确实太贵了

I had to give Howie an advance on his allowance. 我都不得不给华仔提前批零花钱了

Now he's never gonna put his toys away. 现在他是永远丢不掉那些玩具了

Why can't they do something sensible like Sheldon and start their own comic book convention? 他们怎不能像谢尔顿一样明智点开始他们自己的漫展呢?

Also, who wants to throw me out that window? 另外，谁想把我扔出窗外?

Oh, while they're acting like teenagers, we could do something grown-up. 噢，他们都像青少年似的，我们倒可以做点大人做的事儿

Oh. You mean like a museum? 噢，你是说就像去博物馆?

Yes, like a museum, but anything else.  对，就像去博物馆，但是除了这以外什么都行。

Oh, I know. There's a nice hotel not far from here where they do afternoon tea. 噢，明白，这儿不远有个不错的酒店呢，他们那儿有下午茶

Ooh, afternoon tea-- how sophisticated of us. 噢，下午茶，我们活得多精致啊

Oh, all right, if we're gonna be fancy, I should probably put on clean underwear. 好吧，如果我们要高端大气上档次，我大概得换上干净内衣裤

ee-da! Look who has clean underwear. 哟哟哟，看看是谁有干净内衣裤了

No, we're gonna stop at Target on the way. 不，我们中途要在Target(零售百货)停一下

Hey, since Sheldon's not going to Comic-Con, maybe we could find a cool trio to dress up as. 嘿，既然谢尔顿不去动漫大会，也许我们可以找个酷炫三人装来穿

What if we go as The Fantastic Four, and just tell people that the Invisible Girl is standing there with us. 我们以神奇四侠的名号去怎么样，然后说隐形女侠站在我们旁边

Oh, and I thought our days of pretending to be with women who don't exist were over. 我以为我们假装身旁有女人的日子已经一去不返了呢

Gentlemen, I am one step away from securing a huge guest for my convention. 先生们，我离邀请一个大来宾来我的漫展还有一步之遥了

Does that step include chloroform and a roll of duct tape? 那一步包括三氯甲烷和一卷牛皮胶布吗?

I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. 我认为请詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯先生完全不需要这些

You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, the Lion King's dad, and FYI, the guy who says, "This is CNN." 听到了吧，达斯·维德之声(《星球大战》黑武士)，狮子王之父，还有，告诉你，他是配"这里是美国有线新闻网络"的人

Which also sounds like Darth Vader. 那个听起来也像是达斯·维德

How are you gonna get James Earl Jones? 你怎么能请到詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯?

Simple. Earlier today, he Tweeted that he's looking forward to going to his favorite sushi restaurant for dinner. 简单，早些时候，他发推特说，他很期待去那家他最爱的寿司店吃晚餐

I Googled an interview from four years ago which was conducted in his favorite sushi restaurant. 我谷歌到了四年前在他最爱寿司店里进行的采访

That's where he'll be, and that's where I'm going, and... And that's where Darth Vader's gonna pour soy sauce on your head. 那就是他要去的地方，也是我要去的地方，那也是达斯·维德要把酱油淋你头上的地方

Sheldon, I don't care if you get scalped tickets with us or not, but please don't be creepy and go stalking this poor guy. You're gonna get in trouble. 谢尔顿，我不管你要不要和我们买黄牛票，但求你别这么诡异地跟着那个可怜的家伙，你会惹上麻烦的

You're the ones who are going to get in trouble. 你们才是会惹上麻烦的

You're buying non-transferable tickets. 你们要购买不可转让的门票

And from a stranger, no less. 竟然，还是从一个陌生人手里

Not only can you get banned from Comic-Con, if caught, you could be charged with petty theft. 你们不仅会被禁止参加动漫大会，要是被抓了，你们还会以小偷罪名被控

You think about that while I'm warning James Earl Jones out the danger of posting his location on Twitter. 在我提醒詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯发推特写行程的危险时，你们自己好好想想吧

He got lucky this time. There are some weirdoes out there. 这回算是他走运，外面可是有不少奇葩呢

Forgot my keys. 忘拿钥匙了

Okay, great. Bye. 好的，拜

Our friendly neighborhood scalper says he's running late. 我们的友邻黄牛说他要晚点到

Does he sound like a criminal? 他说话听着像罪犯吗?

What do you mean? 你什么意思?

You know, did he say things like, "Youse guys," or "Listen here, see?" 就是，他有没有说像"你小子"或者"听着看着啊"这样的话

Yes. He-He's late because he's on his way here from 1940. 有，他晚到的原因是因为他从1940年来的

I'm just saying. 我只是说

We don't know who this guy is. 我们不知道这人是谁

What if he wants to steal our money or our kidneys, or make a suit out of our skins? 万一他想劫钱劫肾，甚至剥我们的皮去做衣服呢?

Why would someone want to make clothes out of your skin? 为什么会有人想用你的皮囊做衣服?

I don't know. Maybe 'cause dark doesn't show the stains? 很难说啊，也许肤色深不显脏吧?

Well, now you're making me wonder if we should have met him at a neutral location. 这你倒是点醒了我，我们是不是该在公共场合碰面

Why do you think I told him to come to your place? 要不然我怎么会把他约在你家?

There sure are a lot of little kids here. 这果然有很多小孩

I can't believe we thought this would makes us feel grown up. 真不敢相信我们以为这样会倍感成熟

I can't believe the waiter thought I was your daughter. 真不敢相信服务生会把我当做你女儿

Well, last time I got dressed up and had tea was when I was five. 回想上一次我盛装喝下午茶还是五岁的时候

Just me, my teddy bear, Raggedy Ann and my hamster. 只有我，我的泰迪熊，布娃娃以及仓鼠

That's cute. It was. 真可爱，曾经是

Till my hamster ate all her babies. 直到仓鼠把自己的孩子都吃了

It got less cute really fast. 可爱感瞬间破碎