You having second thoughts about acting? 你要不要再想想表演的事?

You were on set, you saw what it was like. 你就在现场，你都看到是什么样子了

Yeah, but it's not always that bad. Oh, really? 是呀，但也不是都这么糟糕。真的吗?

What about when you did, uh, Anne Frank at that cute little theater? 比如那次你在一个可爱的小剧场，表演安妮·弗兰克（《安妮日记》的作者）

It was over a bowling alley. 那是在保龄球馆

Yeah, but... there was ample parking. 好吧，不过...至少那地方停车位挺多的

Are you done? 你说完了吗?

And you were so good in the TV commercial. 还有你那个电视广告拍得很好啊

It was for hemorrhoid cream. 那是痔疮膏的广告

And I got itchy and swollen just watching you. 光看着你，我就又痒又胀了

Leonard, you are really not cheering me up. Come on. 莱纳德，你一点儿也没让我开心起来。拜托

How can you be sad when you're going home with all five-foot-six of this? 你带着这样170的汉子回家怎么还会不开心呢?

Hmm. You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny. 你觉得你有170?这挺逗的

I don't understand it. 我不明白

I'm a nice guy, I have a great job, I'm well-educated, come from a good family... Why don't women want to be with me? 我是个好人，有一份好工作，文化程度高，家境优越，为什么女人会不想跟我在一起?

An interesting question. 这问题有意思

Well... good night. 好吧...晚安

Don't send me home. I can't be alone right now. 别赶我走啊，我现在不能一个人

That's your problem. 那就是你的问题

You can't be alone. 你不能一个人

What do you mean? 什么意思?

How many women have you had dates with? 你一共约过几个女人?

Eleven. How many of those women did you think would become your perfect companion? Eleven. 11个。里面有多少个女人你觉得会成为你的完美好伴侣?11个

Wait. Do I count the 200-pound Sailor Moon girl that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con? Sure. 等下。上次在漫展，跟我和霍华德"三人行"的那个200磅"月野兔"算不算?当然算

I'll stick with 11. She liked Howard better. 那还是11个。她更喜欢霍华德

Well, now do you see the problem? Maybe. 看出问题来了吗?可能吧

I... I don't know. You... It's late, I-I should... I should go. 我也不知道。时候不早了，我该...我该走了

Look, I-I do get what you're saying. 你说的其实我有听懂

Instead of desperately clinging to any woman who will go out with me, I need to work on my fear of being alone. 与其遇上一个愿意跟我约会的女人就死黏着，不如我一个人克服独处的恐惧

I was trying to suggest chemical castration, but... it's my bedtime, so whatever gets you out the door. Good night. 我本来是想建议你化学阉割，不过...睡觉的时间到了，只要你能走出这扇门，咋样都行。晚安

Howie, I'm back! Shh-shh-shh, I just got her to sleep. 华仔，我回来啦!嘘，我刚刚哄她睡着。

Sorry. What took you so long? The grocery store is a few blocks away. 对不起，怎么去了这么久?杂货店就离我们几条街

They only had regular yogurt. I had to go to a different store to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes. 那里只有普通的酸奶，我只能去其他店买你妈喜欢的高脂酸奶

Then why do I smell coffee on your breath? 那我为什么闻到了咖啡的味道?

So what? After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha. 那又怎么样?都照顾她两天了，我去喝了杯摩卡咖啡都不行么。

A mocha? Well, it must be nice to be queen.  摩卡?做女王大人的感觉一定很好吧。

Queen? I've been killing myself here! Well, whose fault is that? I wanted to get a nurse, but you were all, "I'm nice. I want to take care of people." 女王大人?我都快被折磨死了!那怪谁好呢?我想请个护士，但你却一副"我是好人，我想照顾别人"的模样

I'm glad I got that mocha. 我真庆幸我喝了那杯摩卡

And you know what else I'm glad about? 知道还有什么让我感到庆幸吗?

I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car! 给你买的布朗尼蛋糕，我在车上吃掉了!

Howard! Thanks a lot. Now I have to go rub her belly again. 霍华德!真的多亏你。我现在又得去帮她按摩肚子了

Hey. Thanks for letting me come over. Of course. Please, come in. 嘿。谢谢你让我过来。当然啦。请进吧

I just wanted to say how sorry I am about tonight, and... I want to make sure that we're okay. 我只想说关于今晚的事我有多么抱歉，然后...我想确认一下我们没事吧

Uh, look, you and I haven't made any commitments to each other. 你看，我们又没有跟对方承诺过什么。

I know. I just felt like I needed to explain. 我知道，我只是觉得需要跟你解释下

The guy I was with did my last tattoo, and he's been asking me out for months. 和我一起的那个人，就是给我纹上一个纹身的人，他约了我好几个月

I finally said yes just to get it over with. It's okay. Really? 我答应他出去约会，只是为了做个了结。没关系。真的吗?

Well, I mean, yeah, it freaked me out a little, but that's my issue, not yours. Wow. 只不过，当时让我愣了那么一下，不过那是我的问题，和你无关。哇

If I saw you out with another woman, I'd be pretty upset. Thank you. 如果我看到你和别的女人约会，我会挺失落的。谢谢

Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen. 不是谢你会感到失落，而是谢谢你相信我真能和别的女人约会

Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else. Well, me, neither. 我只想你知道，除你之外我没有和别人约会。我也是

Okay. Okay. Please. So, uh... you... you have tattoos? Yeah. I don't. 好吧。好吧。坐吧。那你...你有纹身?是啊。我没有

I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing. 我在肚脐上穿了个孔不知道算不算是脐环

That's cool. It's a piercing. So, uh... how many tattoos? 那挺酷的。那是个脐环。那么...你有多少个纹身?

One on my shoulder, one not on my shoulder and one really not on my shoulder. 有一个在肩膀上，有一个不在肩膀上，还有一个在"完全不在肩膀"的部位

It's, uh... been a long time since I've seen a girl's... really not her shoulder.  我...已经很久没看到过女孩..."完全不在肩膀上"的部位了。

Well... how about you show me your piercing and I show you my tattoos? 那么...要不你给我看你的脐环，我给你看我的纹身?

But, uh, before I take my shirt off, I just need like ten minutes to do some crunches. 不过，脱掉衣服之前，我需要先做10分钟的仰卧起坐

Oh, my God. What a day. 我的天。真是难熬的一天

Can I get you anything? No. 要不要我给你拿点什么?不用了

I need to start making some smart decisions. 我要开始做些明智的选择

With your career? With my life. Like what? I don't know. 职业上的选择?生活上的选择。譬如什么?我不知道

We could get married. 我们可以结婚呀

Come on, be serious. I am. Why? 拜托，正经点吧。我认真的。为什么?

Because I'm a-a "smart decision"? Well, yeah. 因为我是一个"明智的决定"?是啊

So I'm like a bran muffin. 那我就像个糠松饼

No, that's not what I'm saying. No, it's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you. 不，我不是那个意思，不，你就是这个意思。我是个无聊的东西，你选择我是因为我对你有益处

What does it matter? The point is, I'm choosing you. Well, it matters a lot! I don't want to be a bran muffin. 有什么关系呀?重点是我选择了你。关系可大了!我不想成为一个糠松饼

I-I want to be a... Cinnabon, you know? 我想成为一个肉桂卷，你懂吧?

A strawberry Pop-Tart. 一个草莓馅饼

Something you're excited about even though it could give you diabetes. 能让你感到兴奋的东西，就算那会让你得糖尿病

Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want. No, no. No, it's too late. I-I'm your bran muffin. Probably fat-free and good for your colon. 亲爱的，你想当什么点心都成。不，不，晚了，我是你的糠松饼，可能不含脂肪，易于消化

You know what? Forget it. I never should've brought it up. 好了，算了吧，我就不该提这事儿

You know I want to marry you, but you're only doing this because you got fired and you're feeling sorry for yourself. 你知道我想娶你的，但你现在想结婚只是因为你被炒了，因为你为自己感到难过

Okay, it may look that way, but getting fired from that movie was the best thing that could have happened to me,  好吧，看起来是这样，但对我来说被这部电影炒鱿鱼是在我身上发生的最好的事，

 okay? I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy. 懂吗?我终于意识到我不需要功成名就才能幸福

Then what do you need? You, you stupid Pop-Tart! 那你需要什么呢?需要你啊，你这个二货馅饼!

Oh. Then I guess I'm in. 噢。那我想我愿意

Really? You "guess you're in"? 真的吗?你"想你愿意"?

Not like, "I guess I'm in." Like "I guess... I'm in!" Okay. Cool. 不是"我想我愿意"是"我想了想...我愿意!"好。酷

So is that it? Are... are we engaged? 就这样了?我们...我们订婚了?

Yeah, I think so. All right. 是，我想是的。好吧

What's wrong? 怎么了?

I'm not sure. Just... feels a little anticlimactic. 我也不知道，就是...觉得有点儿虎头蛇尾

Yeah, it kind of does, huh? Oh, I know. 是有点儿，是吧?噢，我知道了

This might help. 这个可能有用

Where did you get a ring? 你哪来的戒指?

I've... had it for a couple years, not important. 我...都存了好几年了，这不重要

Penny, will you marry me? Oh, my God, yes. 佩妮，你愿意嫁给我吗?天哪，我愿意

This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger. 本来可以更浪漫的，要是你手指上没粘猴毛的话

How you feeling? 感觉怎样?

Last night was a little rough, but I think we're gonna get through this. 昨晚不太好过，但是我想我们会渡过难关的

I'm proud of us. 我为我们感到骄傲

Me, too. Where's my pancakes?! 我也是。我的薄煎饼在哪儿?!

Coming, Mrs. Wolowitz! 来了，沃洛维茨夫人!

You were right. Welcome to Team Putz. 你是对的。欢迎加入混蛋队