Boy, if my mom could see me now,she'd lock me in the sin closet. 要是我妈现在看到我，她会把我锁进罪恶衣柜

That's a joke, right? 你是开玩笑的吧

Actually, the joke was on her. I could still see the TV through the slats. 其实，她才是那个笑话，因为我可以从柜门缝隙之间看到电视

I'm starting to see why you and your mom aren't very close. 我开始明白你为啥和你妈不太亲近了

Bet she'd still tell her if she got married. 我打赌她结婚时还是会通知她妈

You're not gonna let this go, are you? 你就是不肯放过我，是吧

Well, it's kind of sad that they don't know.I mean, they love Leonard. 把他们蒙在鼓里是挺过分的，他们多喜欢莱纳德啊

Fine, you want me to call? I'll call. 好吧，你们想让我打电话，那我就打

Why am I so nervous? 我怎么这么紧张啊

It's understandable.Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon. 这很正常，艾米也很怕告诉她妈和谢尔顿分手的事

Yeah? How did it go?Did she make you crawl into the breakingup drawer? 是吗，结果怎么样？她逼着你爬进分手抽屉吗

Uh, well, actually, to be honest...I-I haven't told her yet. 老实说，我还没告诉她呢

You've been giving me a hard time and you haven't even told your mom about Sheldon? 你这么起劲催着我而你自己却还没把分手的事告诉你妈

I'm feeling a little dizzy from all the blood loss.I don't know what you're talking about. 我失血过多，头好晕哦，我听不懂你在说什么

Fine. I'm calling home,but when I'm done, you're calling your mother. 好吧，我给我家打电话，我打完以后，你给你妈打电话

Easy for you to say.You never had to watch 60 Minutes like this. 你说得倒轻巧，你又不需要这样偷偷摸摸地看《新闻60分》

Hey, Daddy.Hey, slugger.How's my girl? Uh, good. Is mom around? 爸爸，帅妞，你过得好吗？挺好，我妈在吗

Ah, she took your brother out to celebrate.He just got his tenth onemonth sober chip.Yeah, she's gonna make him a little necklace. 她带你哥哥出去庆祝了，他刚获得了他的第十个"一个月没喝酒"奖章，她要给他做个奖章小项链

Okay, I'll talk to her later.Uh, Dad, there's something I need to tell you.Leonard and I got married. 我待会再打给她，爸爸，我有事要告诉你，我和莱纳德结婚了

You did? When? 真的吗？什么时候

Last week. I'm sorry, I should've told you.It was a spur of the moment thing.I feel terrible.Please don't be too disappointed. 上周，对不起，我应该早点告诉你，都怪我们一时冲动，我觉得很愧疚，求求你不要对我失望

Are you happy?Very. Leonard is so great. Well, then I'm happy for you. 你开心吗？开心呀,莱纳德是个非常棒的人，那我为你开心

Aw, thank you, Daddy.That means so much. 谢谢你，爸爸，这对我来说太重要了

Well, I understand it's hard to tell someone something if you think it's gonna upset 'em. 我明白，那些会让人难过的事是挺难说出口的

It is.You're the best dad ever. 没错，你真是世上最好的爸爸

Yeah. Uh, hold that thought.I've been sitting on a little news myself. 是啊，先别这么说，我也有个小事没告诉你

Well, what is it? 什么事

You know that rototiller I got for the tractor?No. 你知道我为拖拉机配了个旋转式耕耘机吗？不知道

Oh, you should see it.It is a beautiful piece of machinery.Anyway, uh...I backed over your pet pig with it. 你真该来看一看，这机器太帅了，总之...我倒车时把你的宠物猪绞进去了

Moondance?Yeah, he's, uh, not dancing anymore. 小月舞吗？是的，他已经没法跳舞了

You killed my pig? 你弄死了我的猪

I did not kill him.The vet took care of that. 不是我干的，是兽医结果了他

When?Oh... ten, 12 months ago. 什么时候的事？大概10到12个月之前吧

You didn't tell me for a year?! 你瞒了一年都不告诉我吗

Well, apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?Love ya, slugger. Gotta go! 哈哈，有其父必有其女，对吧，爱你，帅妞，挂了

Okay, Amy, your turn. 好了艾米，该你了

What are you doing? 你在干什么

It's called Lamaze breathing.It helps you push. 这叫做拉玛泽呼吸法，有助于帮你使劲

Great.He's pushing with his uterus. 太好了，他在使子宫的劲呢

There's got to be a smarter way of removing it. 肯定还有更好的办法来拧

Yeah, this is nothing more than a physics problem. 对呀，这不过是个简单的物理问题

Right.Archimedes once said,"Give me a leever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it,and I shall move the world." 没错，阿基米德曾经说"给我一根足够长的杠杆和一个支点我就能撑起地球"

Of course.All we need is to find stuff to make a leever big enough to fix this. 没错，我们只需要找到一根足够长的杠杆

Exactly.I'll bet there's something around here that could be a lehver. 说得对，我想这周围肯定有什么可以用来做杠棍

Let's see, a lehver, A lehver... 我想想，杠棍，杠棍

Everybody hold on!Let's take this problem one step at a time. 等一下，我们先一步一步地来解决这个问题

First, we need to decide whether we're calling it leever or lehver. 首先，我们需要决定到底是叫杠杆，还是杠棍

And the sooner we decide it's leever, the sooner we can roll up our sleeves not slehves and get to work. 一旦我们确定了叫杠杆，我们就能挽起袖子，而不是舅子开始工作了

We're gonna be here "Foreever." 我们要"允远"留在这鬼地方了

Thanks a lot, guys. 我谢谢你们全家啊

What did we do? 关我们什么事

Before I made that call,my pig was alive and happy and rolling around in the mud. 在我打那通电话之前，我的猪猪还活着，欢快地在泥巴里打滚

Now he's illegally buried in our backyard next to my greatgrandmother. 现在他被非法葬在我们家后院，紧挨着我太奶奶

Really? They didn't eat him?  真的吗，没有被吃掉？

No. He was a beloved member of the family. 没有,他是我们挚爱的家族成员

The breakfast meat family? 早餐肉中的成员吗

It's not funny.You're up. Call your mother. 这不好笑，该你了，给你妈打电话

Oh, maybe later.Your pig dying made me sad. And a little hungry. 还是等会吧，猪猪不幸逝世，让我深感悲痛，还有点饿

Phone, now.Okay. Okay. Fine. 马上打电话，知道了，好了，好吧

Hi, Mom.Try dialing. You saw that, huh? 喂，妈妈啊，你倒是拨号啊，被你看穿了呀

Hi, Mom. How are you doing?Oh, good. How's work?That's nice.I'm fine. 妈妈，你好吗？我也好，工作怎么样？挺好的，我很好

Hey, listen, I've been meaning to ask,how come Aunt Doe and Aunt Florence never got along? 听着，我一直想问多姨和弗洛伦斯姨怎么一直处不来呢

Okay, just... give me that. Amy broke up with Sheldon, she got her ears pierced and she made us eat penis cookies! 给我吧，艾米跟谢尔顿分手了，她打了耳洞还非逼我们吃大屌饼干

Hang on.She wants to talk to you. 等等，她想跟你谈谈

I don't think the lever's working. 我感觉杠杆没起作用

What makes you say that?There's gotta be something else we can try. 你凭啥那么说？肯定有别的方法可以试试

If this was Star Trek,we could use a phaser to blast it off. 这要是在《星际迷航》里，我们可以用相位枪把它炸开

No, it's too broad of a beam.You'd need something more precise,like Superman's heat vision. 不行，激光束太粗了，要更精准的，比如超人的热视线

Ooh, the Green Lantern's ring could make a big green hand that unscrews it. 或者绿灯侠的能量戒指可以变成大绿手，来拧松它

If you need a green hand,why not just use the Hulk? 如果要大绿手，为什么不直接找绿巨人

Oh, please,the Hulk would never get across the border with that temper. 得了吧，绿巨人那个脾气哪过得了边防

Guys, excuse me,not that calling one of the Avengers isn't a perfectly reasonable choice, 大伙，插一句，不是说呼叫复仇者联盟的人来不是完美合理的解决方法

but we're scientists.Don't you think we can figure this out using actual science? 可我们是科学家，不应该用真正的科学去解决吗

Yes, we could use science.But it's your bachelor party.Lighten up. 是的，我们可以运用真正的科学，但这是你的单身派对,高兴点

* We will * We will percussive shock you 我们将，我们将，敲击震荡你*

* Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise playin' in the street, gonna be a big man someday 伙计，你是个小孩，在街头吵闹玩耍,，一天你将会长大

* You got mud on your face, you big disgrace Kickin' your can all over the place. 你脸上沾着泥巴，丢人现眼，把问题像铁罐踢来踢去，*

I have an eidetic memory. Sometimes it's a curse. 我过目不忘的记忆，有时是诅咒般的存在

I had no idea tortilla chips were such a good fuel source. 我没想到墨西哥炸玉米片居然是个好燃料

They're basically pure hydrocarbons soaked in fat. Let's hope the lug nut expands. 基本就是沾满油的纯碳氢化合物，希望轮爪螺母可以膨胀

What if that burning food attracts animals? 烧食物的香味引来动物怎么办

We have plenty of food for the animals. 我们有很多食物可以给动物吃

We do?  Yep. A sixfoot wiener in a Flash Tshirt. 有吗，当然，闪电侠T恤裹着的六尺长香肠

That's not very nice.It's a bachelor party. Lighten up. 一点都不友好，这是单身派对， 高兴点

What is that awful smell? 这难闻的味道是什么

It's burning salsa. I'm hoping the acidity and salinity combined with electricity will corrode the lug nut off. 烧着的莎莎酱，希望酸性和盐度与电结合可以腐蚀部分螺母

What an innovative solution.Perhaps I don't give your MIT education enough credit. 多有创意的方法，之前瞧不起你的麻省理工学院学历是我不好

Yeah, I saw it on Mythbusters. 我是在谣言终结者上学到的

All right, this rust, combined with the aluminum recovered from the van, is now thermite. 好了，这些锈与面包车弄下来的铝就是铝热剂了

Great.Couple pinches ought to do the trick. 很好，来几小撮就够了

Is that enough to melt the lug nut? 这些够融掉螺母吗

Well, let's start small.We can always add more. 一点点来，可以再加的

You put up a good fight, lug nut, but you've met your match. 螺母，你确实骁勇善战，可惜你遇到对手了（火柴）

Hey, look!The lug nut's off. 瞧，螺母掉了

What are you doing back? 你们怎么回来了

We got a flat and couldn't get the tire off. 爆胎了，轮胎换不下来

Oh, I'm sorry.Thank you. 好遗憾，谢谢你

If it makes you feel any better, I pierced Amy's ears and her mom made her sit in my closet. 不知道会不会让你们平衡一些，我给艾米穿了耳洞，她妈妈罚她坐我衣柜里呢

We blew up Feynman's van. 我们把费曼先生的面包车烧了

My dad killed my pig with his tractor. 我爸用拖拉机把我的猪猪杀了

I spent the night in Mexico with Sheldon.You win. 我跟谢尔顿在墨西哥共度了一夜，你赢了