Before I tell you, perhaps I should soften the blow. 在我说之前，或许需要给你点心里缓冲

You're face is pleasingly symmetrical. Just tell me. 你的脸对称得很讨喜，你就说吧

A Swedish team of physicists is trying to scoop our superfluid vortex experiment. Oh, well, that kind of stinks. 一个瑞典的物理学家团队，想要抢先一步进行我们的超流体漩涡实验，好吧，这是有点恶心

"That kind of stinks"? Why aren't you more upset? Did I soften the blow too much? 什么叫"有点恶心"？你应该要更不爽啊，我刚才给你缓冲太多了吗

Yeah,because this here is more like a Picasso painting. 因为这副尊容更像是一幅毕加索的抽象画

What are we going to do? Perform the experiment immediately. 那我们要怎么办？立刻进行实验

I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month. 我也想，但我们需要液氦，而我们订的氦要晚一个月才到

A month? What? Are you kidding me? 什么，一个月，你跟我闹呢

That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow. That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes. 现在就很适合你给我做心里缓冲啊，这T恤能衬托出你那深邃的蓝眸

Thank you. Aren't you sweet. 谢谢，你嘴真甜

Let's go check to see if the university has any helium in reserve. 我们去查查大学里还有没有氦气存货吧

Did you know that I almost didn't wear this shirt today? 你知道我今天差点就不穿这件衣服吗

Hey, Barry, we're in trouble. We need liquid helium, does the department have any we can use? 巴里，我们碰到了麻烦,我们需要液氦,系里有多余的可以让我们用吗

Sorry, there's a shortage. And what we do have I need for my quantum excitation study. 抱歉，这东西有些短缺,而仅有的存货，我要拿来做量子激发研究

But you won't need much for that. 你那个实验不需要用多少啊

True, but if it's successful, I'm having a party with balloons. 的确，但如果成功了,我开派对要拿来灌气球啊

Come on, Barry, there's a Swedish team trying to run our experiment before us. Can't you spare any? 别这样，巴里，有个瑞典团队,想抢先进行我们的实验,你真不能匀一点给我们吗

Be honest if the shoe was on the other foot, would you do this for me? 你们老实说，如果今天换我碰到这情况,你们会愿意帮我吗

Yes.  No chance. What are you doing? 会，不可能,你帮倒忙呢

He said be honest, so I was honest. Didn't your mother tell you? It's the best policy. 他说老实说，所以我老实说啊,你母亲没教你吗，诚实为上

So, what do you say? Hell no. 所以你意下如何,下辈子吧

He could've softened the blow. 他可以给我们点缓冲再说的

Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium? 你们为啥需要找他要氦气,你们不能直接去派对用品店买点吗

We'd have to go to every Party City in California. 我们得跑遍它们全加州的店才够

Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo. 听起来就像5月5日节时的你啊(墨西哥节日，庆祝某场战役的胜利，在节日当日会有各种派对，舞蹈等等)

Hey, people were still talking about that party on siete de Mayo. 我办的那个派对到5月7日还有人赞不绝口呢

Leonard, if that Swedish team beats us, I will never be able to enjoy anything from their country again. 莱纳德，如果那个瑞典团队赢了我们,我此生都再也不愿享用那个国家的东西了

Which is a shame, because Swedish meatballs are my favorite toothpickdelivered meatball. 那真挺可惜的，因为瑞典的肉丸是我最爱的用牙签插着吃的肉丸

If you need liquid helium so bad, I know a guy who can get you some, if you don't ask too many questions. 如果你们真迫切需要液氦，我认识个人,他能帮你们搞到，前提是不许问太多问题

Who is he?  Where does he work? How does he get the helium? How many questions are too many questions? 他是何方神圣，他在哪儿工作?他怎么能搞到氦?问多少问题才算是太多问题

Maybe he's not for you. 或许他不适合你们

Four questions. There answer's four. 四题，答案是四题

Hey, you know who went out on a date the other night? Stuart. 你知道之前谁晚上去约会了吗?斯图尔特

Oh, good for him. I thought so, too. 那恭喜他啊,我也这么觉得

So is she, like, homeless, or framing him for a crime? 所以这妞是无家可归还是要栽赃陷害他

He's using some kind of dating app on his phone. 他在手机上装了一个约会软件

Oh, which one? Maybe we can get Amy to try it. I don't know. 叫什么?或许我们能让艾米也试试,不知道

Stuart, can you come in here? 斯图尔特，你能过来一下吗

He tried to explain it to me. It shows you pictures of people nearby, you swipe them around, it looks kind of like a game. 他试着跟我解释过,上面会显示出附近的用户,你能左右滑动换人看，看起来像个游戏

Oh, and if you lose the game, you have to go out with Stuart. 如果你游戏输了，你就得跟斯图尔特约会

What's up? Can you show us that dating app? 找我干嘛?你能给我们看看那个约会软件吗

Oh, yeah, sure. This thing has changed my life. 可以啊，行,这软件真是改变了我的人生

Wow. So how many girls have you met? Two.  所以你约到了几个姑娘,2个

I probably don't need to mention there's an entire number between that and zero.  我想我不用多说,2跟0之间相隔了"1"个世界吧

Well, so how does it work? 这软件怎么用

Uh, well, itit shows me all the single women in a fivemile radius who are using the app. 上面会显示出方圆八公里内所有使用这软件的单身女子

If I like the way they look, I hit "Thumbs up." If I don't, "Thumbs down." 如果我喜欢她们的长相，那就点"赞",如果不喜欢，就点"烂"

Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down? 那怎么样的情况会让你给姑娘点"烂"呢

First time it happens I will let you know. 首次发生时，我会告诉你

Oh, hey. I just heard back from the liquid helium guy. What's he say? 我收到那个氦气男的回信了,他怎么说

He's got what we need and can meet us tonight.Oh, really? 他有我们要的东西，可以今晚交易,是吗

You know I don't like buying things at night. 你知道我不喜欢晚上买东西

January 7, 2009.I went to the Ralph's at 11:30pm to pick up Cracklin' Oat Bran for the morning and what did I see? 2009年1月7日,我晚上11点半去买隔天早餐要吃的燕麦片，然后我看到了啥

The man restocking the cereal shelves. 在给早餐谷物架补货的店员

That's right. And what did he do? 没错，他干嘛了

He handed you the box directly and called you Stretch. It's like it was yesterday. 他直接把早餐片递给了你，然后叫你瘦竹竿,伤心往事历历在目啊

Do you want liquid helium or not? 那你到底还想不想要液氦了

Of course I do.I don't want that Swedish team scooping us. 我当然想要啊,我不想被那个瑞典团队捷足先登

Then I'm going to tell him we're in. 那我告诉他我们同意

Leonard, wait. This is highly unethical. 莱纳德，等等，这非常不道德

We're just bending the rules a little.We have grant money to do the experiment,so we're going to spend it on the helium we need. 我们只是稍微变通一下,我们有进行实验的拨款,所以我们拿这款项去买实验需要的氦

It's not like when Dr. Goldfarb claimed he bought an electron microscope and he was really just keeping a Russian girl in an apartment in Van Nuys. 这又不像戈德法布博士对外声称自己买了一个电子显微镜,而真相是他在加州范奈司的金屋藏"金丝猫"

Was she helping him with his research? Sure.  So, are we doing this? 那女孩帮他做研究吗?"当然",我们到底要不要买

Okay, but where does he get the helium? 好吧，可他的氦是从哪里弄来的

Remember? Don't ask too many questions? 还记得吗，不许多问

Uh, but this is violating university code. 但这有违我们大学的校规

A little, but...if I may quote Einstein, "The pursuit of science calls us to ignore the rules set by man." 稍微有点，但...爱因斯坦曾说过追求科学需要我们抛开一切规章制度"

All right, do it. Tell him we're in. Done. 好吧，买吧,告诉他我们同意见面,好了

I can't find that quote on the Internet. Did you make that up? 我在网上查不到爱因斯坦那句话,是不是你瞎编的

Before I answer, may I just say your skin has never looked better. 在回答之前,我得先说，你的皮肤也太好了吧

Aren't you just made of sugar. 你的嘴呀，跟抹了蜜一样

I'm not sure how I feel about this. 我不确定对此该作何感想

Oh, come on, just let him put the app on your phone. 放心，就让他把软件装你手机上吧

Yeah, Stuart got two dates with it. 对啊，斯尔图特约到了两个妞呢

One of which would've ended in sex had she not said no. 其中一个要没拒绝我，早发展到床上了

Okay, all set. Okay, let me see. Nope, nope, nope... 好了，装好了,让我看看,不行，不行,不行

Oh, he's cute! Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone? And he's sad about it. 这个帅气,泪滴图案的纹身不是代表他曾杀过人吗?他对此感到痛心啊

Hey, I thought you were gonna be out late? 我以为你很晚才会回来呢

If you wanted me to stay out later, you should've given me more spending money. 如果你想让我晚点回家,就应该给我多点零花钱啊

What are you guys up to? 你们在干什么

We put Amy on a dating app, and we're seeing what's out there. 我们帮艾米注册了约会软件,现在在看上面都有什么人

Oh, fun! Let me see. Uh, no... no, uh, definitely not. 有意思，让我看看,不行,不行，绝对不行

What was wrong with that guy? 这人哪里不好了

Uh, he's Indian. We've already got one of those. 他是印度人,我们已经有一个阿三哥了

Ooh, we should find a nice Latino. It really round us out. Hey, I want to try. 我们应该找一个拉丁帅哥,让我们这个小团体更完美,我想试试

Uh, excuse me, ccan I have my phone back? 不好意思，能把手机还给我吗

Hang on, I'm trying to find you the next great love of your life. The man who will father your children. 等等，我在帮你寻找下一位挚爱呢,你未来孩子的父亲

Okay, yes or no on white guy with dreadlocks? 好了，脏辫雷鬼头的白人怎么样(看起来乱七八糟几百年没洗的辫子头)

That must be him. Oh, of course. An nondescript, white panel van. 那一定是他,肯定啦,一辆没有标识的全白面包车

You may be familiar with it from the sentence: 以下这句话你可能会听着耳熟

"Their bodies were found in a nondescript, white panel van." 他们的尸体是在一辆没有标识的全白面包车内找到"

What's up? Uh, I'm Leonard. This is my friend.  I'm Skippy. Skippy Cavanaugh. Great. 你们好,我是莱纳德,这位是我的朋友，叫我兽主甘。兽主甘·卡瓦诺,好

You got the cash? Uh, yeah, uh, right here. 钱带来了吗?带来了，在这里呢

Wait, hold on, hold on. How do we know that you're not gonna take the money and drive away? 等等，且慢且慢,我们怎么知道你不会拿了钱就跑

What ya doing, Skippy? 你这是干嘛，兽主甘

Exactly what 1970s television crime dramas have taught us. 这是跟70年代的罪案连续剧学的

You give us the helium first. 你先把氦给我们

Oh, how do I know you're not gonna drive away without paying me? 我怎么知道你们会不会收了货不给钱就跑啊

Guess I'm not the only one who watches '70s television crime dramas. 看来我不是唯一一个会看70年代罪案连续剧的人

Look, you can trust us. We're respected scientists. Well, he is. 听着，你可以信任我们，我们是受人尊敬的科学家，他是

I'm a wedding planner, who can't find love himself. 我是一名婚礼策划师，然而自己却找不到真爱

It's ironic, but the point is we can't trust you. You're a sketchy character in a parking garage. 虽然很讽刺，但重点是我们无法信任你，你只是个在停车场的鬼祟男

Yeah, well, from my perspective, that's how you two appear to me. 没错，在我看来，你们俩也是鬼祟男

Well, I never thought of it like that. 我从未这样想过

Boy, frame of reference will just sneak up on you, won't it? 天啊，参照系让人措手不及

My friend does make a decent point about the money. 我朋友对钱的担心不无道理

I don't feel comfortable just handing it over up front. 我也觉得先给钱不妥

Ahahah, no money, no helium. 不给钱，不给氦

Seems we're at a, uh, stalemate. 看来我们陷入了"逼和"的局面

Not technically. In chess, a stalemate refers to a situation in which there are no remaining moves. 严格来说不算，在国际象棋中， "逼和"指的局面是无棋可动，无路可走

Uh, you have plenty of moves available. You could beat us up and steal the money. You could kill us, you know. 你还有很多条路可以选，你可以揍扁我们，然后把钱拿走，你也可以杀了我们

Really, you're only limited by your imagination. 你只是被自己的想象力限制了

All these years, I've been using "stalemate," when I really mean "impasse." I feel foolish. 这么多年来，虽然我嘴上说"逼和"，但我真正要表达的是"僵局"，我感觉自己好傻

I don't think it matters if this is a stalemate or an impasse or a Mexican standoff.  What are we gonna do here? 这都不重要，不管这是"逼和""僵局"或是"墨西哥对峙"，我们现在应该怎么办

Oh, whoa, whoa, how can it be a Mexican standoff? Everybody knows you need three sides for that. 等等，这怎么能算"墨西哥对峙"呢，谁都知道这种情况得有三方对峙

Not necessarily. Uh, many argue the essence of a Mexican standoff is that no one can walk away from the conflict without incurring harm. 不一定，很多人争论"墨西哥对峙"的本质在于就是没人能够全身而退却毫发无伤

Hmm, I don't follow. Let me give you an example. 我没听明白，我给你举个例子吧

Earlier today, I decoded the headers on your email, and I know that your name is Kenneth Fitzgerald. 今天早些时候，我破解了你电邮的标头隐藏资讯，我知道你的名字叫肯尼斯·菲兹杰拉德

From that, I figured out where you live and where you work. 然后我找出了你的住址和工作地点

Now, to make this a Mexican standoff, I would say something like, uh, "You give us the helium or I'll turn you in to the authorities."  现在，要把情况变成"墨西哥对峙"，我会说些类似这样的话"给我氦气，不然我就去当局告发你"

Is that a threat? Yeah, exactly. See, you're getting it. 你这是在威胁我吗？没错，看，你开始懂了嘛

Yeah, well, I know where you work, all right? And if you mess with me, I'll report you, then I'll pound your asses into the ground. 好呀，我也知道你们在哪里工作，如果你们想整我，我就举报你，然后我会把你俩揍得亲娘都认不出

Perfect! Now we really are in a Mexican standoff. 太棒了，现在这才叫"墨西哥对峙"

Is this one of those times where I've won the battle but lost the war? 是不是又到了那种我赢了战役，却输了战争的局面

Afraid so, Skippy. I told you we shouldn't go shopping at night. 恐怕是哦，兽主甘，我就说咱们不该晚上出来买东西