How can reading my journal be an accident? 偷看我日记怎么会是意外呢

I didn't even know what it was. I saw it on your nightstand. I picked it up. 我根本不知道那是什么，我看放在床头柜上，就顺手拿起来翻

Well, when you realized what it was, why didn't you stop? 那你知道是日记后，干嘛还不住手

You know me, I'm a big ol' bookworm. 你也知道我，我是爱阅读的四眼书虫

All right. Let's just finish cooking. 算了，赶紧把饭做完吧

Well... Hey. OOkay. Let me make this up to you. Sometimes I keep an online journal. I want you to read something that I write. 好啦好啦，让我补偿你吧，有时我会在网上写日记，我想让你读我写的东西

Okay, really, I'm fine. 不用了，我不想读

Okay. Well, then I'll read it to you. It's from the day we first met. 好吧，那我读给你听好了，这篇是我们第一次见面时写的

"Beauty, thy name is Penny."  Oh, God. Stop. "邻之佳人，名为佩妮" ，求闭嘴

I don't want you to read something you think'll just butter me up. I want to hear the most recent thing you wrote. Fine. 我不想你读一些你自认为恭维我的好话，我想听你最新写的日记，好

"Penny's beauty, like our love, grows more with each passing day." 佩妮的美，就像我们的爱一天比一天更甚"

Does it really say that? Why would I lie? 上面真的这么写吗，我干嘛要撒谎

"Omg. Omg.  We're so close to the new Star Wars. I can't take it. Gah." 天了噜，天了噜，新的《星球大战》电影即将上映，我的小心脏要受不了了，哇噢"

"Gah"?  Well, you didn't read it right. "哇噢"，你念的语气不对

The new Star Wars is coming. Gah! 新的《星球大战》电影即将上映，哇呼

I'm sensing things have gotten awkward. 我感觉到气氛变尴尬了

No. It's okay. If we're friends, we should be able to talk about anything. 不，没关系，如果我们是朋友，我们就该无所不谈

All right. So, you had some questions about me seeing other people. Just a few. Go ahead. 好吧，你对我跟其他人约会有一些疑问，就几个小问题，问吧

How many dates have you been on? Who were they with? Where'd you go? 你约过几次会，都跟谁约会，都去了哪里

Where did you meet them? Did you sleep with them? And how much longer to the aquarium? 你在哪里认识他们的，你跟他们睡了吗，还有多久到水族馆

I'm getting kind of hungry. 我有点饿了

Let's see. I have been on six dates with three different people. It was either for coffee or dinner. 我们一题一题答，我一共约会了六次，分别跟三个不同的人，不是去喝咖啡，就是吃饭

One I met at a bookstore and two I met online. I haven't slept with anyone. 一个是在书店认识的，其余两个是在网上，我没有跟任何一个睡

The aquarium is 40 minutes away. And there's a baggie of Cheerios for you in the glove compartment. 还有40分钟才能到水族馆，我给你准备了麦圈在杂物箱里

Uh, regular or honey nut? I mixed them. 原味的还是蜂蜜坚果味，我把两者混到一起了

You mixed them. No wonder gentleman callers are pounding down your door. 你把两者混到一起了，怪不得男人如雪片般飞来

Do you have any questions for me? 你有问题要问我吗

Just one. Are you doing okay? I am. Good. 就一个，你还好吗，好啊，那就好

I-I want you to be happy. 我希望你快乐

I believe you. I'd believe you more if you threw a few Apple Jacks in here. 我相信你是，如果你再放点苹果肉桂脆片，就更有说服力了

Here you go. Thanks. 给，谢谢

You got to be kidding me. Sorry? 开什么玩笑，什么

Y-You're Elon Musk. spacex. I am. 你是埃隆·马斯克，太空探索技术公司首席执行官兼首席技术官（环保跑车公司特斯拉Tesla产品设计师）,正是在下

Wh-What are you doing here? 你在这里干什么

I'm washing dishes. Well, I was on the turkey line, but I got demoted for being too generous with the gravy. 我来刷盘子啊,我本来是分火鸡的,但因为肉汁给太多，被下放来刷盘子了

Oh, man. I...What an honor to meet you. I'mI'm such a fan of Tesla and SpaceX. All your companies. 老天，我...见到你很荣幸，我是特斯拉车和太空探索技术公司的粉丝，你所有公司我都爱

Howard Wolowitz, Caltech. Nice to meet you, Howard. 加州理工的霍华德·沃罗威茨，很高兴认识你，霍华德

Feels great to come down here and help the less fortunate, huh? 来这里帮助不幸的人，感觉不错吧

Oh, yeah. Nothing better than helping people. 是的，助人为乐的感觉最棒了

Which is something I realized when I was viewing Earth from the deck of the International Space Station, 我意识到这点时是在遥远的外太空，当时我从国际空间站的甲板上了望地球

where I spent two months as a payload specialist, a job I was qualified for because I'm an MITtrained engineer. 我以科学宇航员的身份待了两个月，这份工作我完全能胜任，因为我是麻省理工培养出来的工程师

And I thought I ladled the gravy on thick. 我浇的肉汁得再厚也没你的脸皮厚

Sorry. It's just...you're you, you know? 抱歉，只是...你真是太了不起了

And I really want you to adopt me. 我超希望你能收养我

Well, you're here on Thanksgiving, so you're probably a good person. 你在感恩节能出现在这里，所以你应该是个好人

Oh. I made my wife come down, too. 我还让我老婆一起来了呢

You think you might ever get back out to space? 你觉得你会再次回到外太空吗

Is that a job offer? 'Cause I really want to go to Mars. 这是工作邀请吗，因为我真的很想去火星

Assuming I can bring my wife. She hardly takes up any room. She's basically a carryon. 前提是能带上我老婆，她完全不占地方，基本就手提行李大小

Well, we're not quite there yet, but we're always looking for engineers. So let me give you my email. We can stay in touch. Thank you. 我们现在还没到那步，但我们一直在寻找工程师，我把邮箱告诉你，我们保持联系，谢谢

Oh, look. Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie. 瞧，有人的南瓜派几乎没怎么吃

Want to share it with me? 你想跟我一起吃吗

Aa partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie from a homeless shelter? With Elon Musk, you bet I do! 跟埃隆·马斯克在收容所一起分享被吃过的南瓜派，我当然愿意

You know, for a Thanksgiving buffet in an aquarium cafeteria, that was really bad. 以一个在水族馆餐厅里的感恩节自助餐来说，刚才那顿也太差了

You're just upset 'cause they ran out of Pilgrim hats. 你就是在气他们移民帽发完了

They gave one to that baby. He wasn't even awake. 他们还发给那孩子一顶，他在睡觉要来干嘛

Well, it wouldn't be a holiday without you being mad at a baby. 逢年过节怎么少得了你跟孩子上火生气呢

Would you care to play an oceanthemed game I invented? Sure. What is it? 想不想跟我玩一个我发明的海洋主题游戏，当然，什么游戏

It's called Food, Friend, Fight. 游戏叫作"食物，朋友，战斗"

One of us chooses three aquatic creatures, and the other one must decide which he would eat, befriend, or battle. So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill. 我们中一人选出三种水生生物，然后另一人必须决定分别把什么当食物，做朋友，还是与之战斗，就像"接吻，结婚，杀掉"

What is that? It's a game where you're given three people and you choose which one you'd kiss, marry, or kill. 那是什么东西，那是一个游戏，一方说出三个人，另一方选择要跟谁接吻，结婚，杀掉

Well, my game is better, 'cause instead of marrying someone, you get to eat them. 我的游戏更好，不用跟人结婚，还可以吃掉他们

Let's just play. I'll start you off easy. Electric eel, pufferfish, shrimp. 我们开始玩吧，开始来点简单的，电鳗，河豚，虾

Well, I wouldn't fight the eel, because I know it can generate enough current to kill a horse. 我不会跟电鳗战斗，因为我知道它产出的电流可以电死一匹马

So I'd eat the eel, fight the shrimp, and befriend the pufferfish, because it would be nice to have company on those days I feel bloated. 所以我吃掉电鳗，与虾战斗然后与河豚交友，因为我觉得自己水肿的日子里，有个同病相怜的伙伴挺好的

Very well done. Thank you. Okay, your turn. 答得漂亮，谢谢，好的，到你了

Hmm. Seal, hagfish... SpongeBob SquarePants. 海豹，盲鳗，海绵宝宝

Well, I'd befriend SpongeBob but he's not real, so I can't do that, can I? 我想跟海绵宝宝做朋友，但它不是真的，所以我做不到，是不是

But you can pal around with a hagfish? 难道你可以跟盲鳗称兄道弟吗

Hey, let's not pull at that thread. 不要挑刺好吗

Okay. I'll fight SpongeBob, because he's so friendly, we'll just end up tickling each other. 好的，我选择跟海绵宝宝战斗，因为他非常友善，最后我们就变成互相挠痒痒了

Um, I'll befriend the seal, because he's trainable, which is the problem I'm having with my current friends. 我会跟海豹做朋友，因为它们可以被人训练，而我现在的朋友们正好有这问题

Which means I'll have to eat the hagfish. 意味着我只能吃掉盲鳗了

Isn't that gross? I mean, a hagfish can produce enough mucus to fill a bucket in a minute. 不恶心吗，盲鳗一分钟内，就可以产出一水桶粘液

I know. It makes its own gravy it'll slide right down. I miss this. 我知道，它自带肉汁，非常顺口，我怀念这样

How can you miss a game you've never played before, silly? 你怎么能怀念一个你从来没玩过的游戏，小傻瓜

I guess sometimes I'm silly. 或许有时我就是这么傻吧

Hey. Where'd you go? I can't tell if the turkey's done! Be right there! 你去哪了，我看不出来火鸡烤没烤好，马上来

Hi, lover. What are you doing? 你好啊，爱人，你这是闹哪样啊

I'm sorry about the journal. I want to make it up to you. So I'm gonna let you post a shame photo of me on Facebook. 抱歉看了你日记，我想补偿你，于是，我决定让你拍下我的耻辱照发到脸书上

I am not putting that on the Internet! I don't want people to see this. I don't want to see it! 我才不会把那种东西发到网上，我不想让大家看到这幅景象，连我都看不下去了

Don't want people to see what, huh? A little bit of this? Some of this? 你不想让大家看什么呀，看这样吗，还是这样啊

And, since it's Thanksgiving, an extra helping of this? Happy Thanks... 既然今天是感恩节，那额外附赠这个，感恩节...

I'm glad you had a nice time with Amy. 很开心你和艾米相处得愉快

Me, too. It's comforting to know that she and I are able to function as friends. 我也是，我们还能以朋友身份相处非常让人欣慰

Well, I've never been friends with any of my exes. 我跟前任从来当不来朋友

Oh, I'm sure you and Leonard will be able to pull it off. Oh. It's my friend Amy. 我肯定你和莱纳德能当朋友，是我的朋友艾米

Hello. Hi, Sheldon.I'm just driving home from my mother's. Did you have a nice time? 你好，好啊，谢尔顿，我刚从母亲家开车出来，你席间还愉快吗

I did. Um...Listen, I really enjoyed spending this morning with you. 愉快，听着，我很喜欢今早我们一起相处的时光

Well, I can't take all the credit. It was pretty funny when that one anchovy started going the wrong way. 不是我一个人的功劳，那一条凤尾鱼游错方向的时候也很有趣（凤尾鱼是属于那种会一大批同游同个方向的鱼）

It was. Uh, listen, I-I was thinking that, um, maybe I'm ready to be your girlfriend again. 确实，听着，我在考虑我或许准备好重新做你女友了

I thought we were just friends. 我以为我们只是朋友

We are. But I was hoping, maybe... 我们是朋友，但我希望，也许...

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend. 艾米，我擅长很多事情，但忘记你并非其中一件事，我还是当你的朋友就好

Okay. I understand. Good. 好吧，我理解，好的

Oh, I watched a video of the hagfish producing mucus, so I'm gonna change my answer and eat SpongeBob. Okay. Sure. 我看了盲鳗产粘液的视频，所以我要把答案改成吃海绵宝宝，好的，当然可以