Hello. 您好

I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz. 我想找Howard Wolowitz

May I ask what this is about? 我能问下您找他有什么事吗?

No, you may not. 我不能告诉你

Very well. 好吧

Hi... Colonel Williams. 您好... Willians上校

How can I help you? 我能为您做点什么?

O... Okay. 好...好的

Sure, I can meet with you on Thursday. 星期四我有空

Caltech is fine. 就定在加州理工吧

Yeah, may I ask what this is about? 我能问问这次会面是关于什么事吗?

I may not? 不行?

That's what he said to me. 他也是这么跟我说的

Look at this. 你看这个

Elon Musk has a theory that we're all just characters Paypal联合创始人，特斯拉总裁，Elon Musk说，我们有可能都是

in some advanced civilization's video game. 游戏里的角色，是高级物种在操控我们

So some alien kid spent his money 所以某个外星小盆友

on the asthmaandglasses upgrade for me? 花钱给买了我的哮喘设定和眼镜外观?

Well, he doesn't say it's a good game. 他倒也没说这是个好游戏

All right, we got a problem. 嘿，我们摊上事了

What's up? 怎么了?

The Air Force contacted me about our quantum gyroscope. 空军的人联系到我，想问我们关于量子漩涡的事

They want to have a meeting. 他想和我面谈

Really? 真的?

Yeah. This military guy showed up at Howard's door. 是啊，那个部队的人直接找到了Howard家门口

He was terrifying. 特别吓人

Oh, what did he say? 他说什么了?

He gave me his business card 他给了我一张名片

and asked me to please pass it along to Howard. 说，请把名片转交给Howard

That doesn't sound terrifying. 这到底哪里吓人了

To a white guy born here, no. 对于你们这种白人来说确实没什么

If you are a brown guy whose name has 但我是个棕色皮肤的人

a lot of syllables in it... terrifying. 名字还有好多音节...很吓人啊

You realize if the military declares our research classified, 你有没有想过，如果军队把我们的研究列为机密的话

they can take the whole thing away from us. 他们就可以全权接管这项研究

And if that happens, 如果真的是这样的话

we'll never be able to sell it commercially. 我们就不能用它卖钱了

There goes our big payday. I was counting 这可是一大笔钱呢

on that money... I need to make as much as my wife 我还想...有了这笔钱我就和我老婆挣得一样多了

so I don't have to try so hard in bed. 也省的我只能在床上用尽全力

You do that, too? 你和我一样?

Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin? 是啊，不然你以为我是怎么保持身材的?

Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. 各位，我们跑题了

We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs 我们马上就要成为在军工集团中

in the militaryindustrial complex. 默默无闻的无名英雄了

Isn't that exciting? 这简直太赞了，对吗?

You're kidding, right? 你开什么玩笑?

Not at all. In Star Wars, when the stormtroopers 我认真的，在星球大战里

would march in perfect formation, 每次突击士兵排着整齐的队伍

harassing civilians, didn't you ever think, 进攻骚扰百姓时，你们有没有想过

"Hey, that could be me"? "我也可以成为那一员"?

Sheldon, we could be contributing Sheldon 我们的研究成果可能会被当做武器

to a weapons system that oppresses mankind 在未来的一千年里

for the next thousand years. 用于压迫我们的同类

Okay, Howard's on board. What do you think, Leonard? 真棒，Howard也想明白了，Leonard你怎么看?

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state 宇宙一度又烫又稠密，

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! 140亿年前终于爆了炸...等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool 地球开始降温，

The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools 自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具，

We built the Wall We built the pyramids 我们建长城，我们建金字塔，

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery 数学，自然科学，历史，揭开神秘，

That all started with a big bang 一切由大爆炸开始，

I'm worried about Howard. Ever since that guy 我有点担心Howard了

from the Air Force showed up, he's been a nervous wreck. 自从那个空军的人来了之后，他就紧张的要死

All right, we work at a giant pharmaceutical company. 别担心，咱们都是在制药公司工作的人

Get him some antianxiety meds. 随便给他找点抗抑郁的药就好啦

He won't take any pills that aren't chewable 他只吃可以嚼服的

and shaped like a Flintstone. 彩色儿童药片

You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious 你知道吗，每次Leonard焦虑的时候

I make him take a long walk. 我就让他出去散步

Does that help? 管用吗?

Well, for a while. Then he comes back. 能管用一会，但是他一会就回来了

I don't believe this. 太过分了

What's wrong? 怎么了?

This guy from the office just congratulated me 办公室有人发短信

on being pregnant. 祝贺我怀孕了

You did already know, right? 你应该知道你怀孕了吧?

No one at the office did. 办公室里应该没人知道的啊

Did you tell anyone? 你有没有告诉别人?

No. You told me not to. 没有啊，你不是让我别说吗

I bet it was Barbara Chen in retrovirus. 肯定是逆转录酶病毒部门的Barbara Chen

She might have heard me throwing up one morning. 她可能听见我晨吐的声音了

Every since she got 自从带上助听器之后

the hearing aid, she thinks she's so great. 她就觉得自己的耳朵最好用

Why don't you want anyone to know? 你为什么不想让别人知道?

Because I'm up for a major immunotherapy study, 因为我马上要去参加一个免疫疗法的研究

and if they find out I'm pregnant 要是他们知道我怀孕了的话

they might give it to someone else. 可能就会让别人代替我了

Would they really do that? 他们会这样吗?

I know they would... they did it to Barbara Chen last year 我知道他们会...去年我告诉大家Barbara Chen怀孕了

when I told everyone she was pregnant. 后来他们就是这么对她的

Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working 等下，我要发Snapchat让别人都知道，我朋友的工作

on a top secret government project. 可能是政府高级机密

Are you crazy? 你疯了吗?

You can't put that on Snapchat. 这种事不能发到Snapchat的啊

Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman. 好吧，那我就像山顶洞人一样发个Facebook吧

You know, maybe before our meeting 我觉得和他们见面之前

we should talk to a lawyer. 我们应该先找个律师聊聊

That's not a bad idea. 有道理

Well, you must have someone in your family that's a lawyer. 你家里一定有亲戚是律师吧

Why? Because I'm Jewish? 为什么?就因为我是犹太人?

That's like me saying, "Hey, you're Indian. 这么说的话，"你是印度人

Doesn't your cousin work in a call center?" 那你一定有个做电话客服的表哥了?"

My cousin does work in a call center. 我表哥确实是接电话的

And my cousin's a lawyer. 好吧，我堂弟确实是律师

We don't need Howard's cousin, no. 我们用不着找Howard的堂弟啊

We have me. 有哥就够了

You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a knowitall. 你不是律师，Sheldon你只是个万事通

I am not a knowitall. 我不是万事通

I'm a person who knows lots of things 我只是个上知天文下知地理

and likes to correct other people when they're wrong. 而且乐于纠正别人的错误的人

That's the definition of being a knowitall. 万事通的定义正是如此

Or in German, a Besserwisser. 或者用德语来说，智者是也

How did you think you were gonna hide your pregnancy? 你怎么会觉得能隐瞒自己怀孕的事呢?

I had a plan... I kept leaving Dove Bar wrappers around 姐是有计划的...我把德芙巧克力包装纸放得到处都是

to explain any weight gain. 用来解释我长肉的原因

Where did you get empty Dove Bar wrappers? 你去哪里找德芙的包装纸?

From all the Dove Bars I ate! I'm pregnant! 当然是姐吃完留下的!姐可是孕妇!

Try to keep up! 大脑能不能不要这么短路!

I'm sorry. I... I have to go find out 抱歉，我...必须去试探试探我老板

if my boss knows. 知不知道这件事

Well, whatever happens, we're here for you. 好吧，无论发生什么，我们都是你最坚强的后盾

Thanks. You guys are the best. 谢谢，你们最好了

Yeah, drive safe. We love you. And give us a call... 开车小心，爱你哦，别忘了给我们打电话

Oh, my God, it was me, it was me! 天了噜，是我，是我干的!

I'm the one who blabbed she was pregnant! 是我把她怀孕的事说出去的!

What?! 什么?!

I didn't mean to. It just slipped out 我不是故意的，就是有一天在

in front of her assistant one day. I... 她助理面前说漏嘴了，我...

I forgot my coat. 我忘了拿我的外套

Oh! Here's your coat, honey. 噢!外套给你，宝贝

That's such a cute jacket. 这件外套真是美呆了

Oh... 噢...

God, I feel so bad... I just lied to her. 天啊，这感觉太糟了...我刚刚对她说谎了

Oh, but you did it so well. 是啊，但你表现堪称完美啊

That's amazing! 影后舍你其谁啊!

It's like watching a sculptor, 这简直就是个艺术品

but your clay was lies. 谎言就是你的杰作

Is that really what's important right now? 现在这些不重要好吗?

I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain 我说真的，下次你撒谎的时候一定要让我扫描你的大脑

when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up. 我要看看到底是哪个区域有反应

That's super helpful, Amy. 那真是帮了我大忙啊，Amy

Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that. 真是谢谢你，我真是等不及了

I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here. 我已经可以看见一堆贱人细胞在闪闪发光了

Give me a second to call my cousin. 我马上就打给我表哥

I don't see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale 我真不明白一个劳德代尔堡的税务律师

could be helpful regarding intellectual property. 怎么能帮我们知识产权方面的问题

First of all, he's in Boca Raton, 首先，他住在波卡拉顿

which is better than Fort Lauderdale. 比劳德代尔堡那破地方好多了

But more importantly, 更重要的是

he lasted two days on Jeopardy, 他在，"危险边缘"里撑了两天

so he's clearly a smart guy. 所以他显然很聪明

Hello. 你好

Hey, Marty. Thanks for talking to us. 嘿，Marty谢谢你能接受我们的咨询

Hey, no problem. 别客气

Thanks for going to outer space so no matter what I do 谢谢你去了外太空，这样无论我做什么

my mom will be disappointed in me. 我妈都不会对我满意了

Well, I married a little Catholic girl, so we're even. 这个嘛，我娶了个天主教的妞，所以我们扯平了

Anyway, this is Leonard and Sheldon. 言归正传，这是Leonard和Sheldon

The three of us came up with the guidance system. 我们三个人研发出了导航系统

Hi.  Hello.  And this is my friend, Raj. 你好， 你好， 这是我的朋友，Raj

Oh, I'm not on the patent. I'm just here 这个专利跟我没什么关系，我在这里

because there's a bumblebee in my office. 是因为我办公室里有只大黄蜂

I saw it. It's big. 我看到了，确实很大

Anyway, like I said in the email, 就像我在邮件里说的

this meeting's on Thursday. 这次会面安排在星期四

Do you have any advice for us? 你有什么建议吗?

Well, I don't know much about patent law. 我对专利法不是特别了解

But, uh, my advice is: 但我的建议是:

hear them out, offer as little information as possible, 听他说完，尽可能少地提供信息

and whatever you do, don't sign anything. 无论你做什么，绝对不要签任何文件

"Don't sign anything"? That's your advice? "不要签任何文件"?这就是你的建议?

Okay, so, uh, if during this meeting, 好吧，如果在这次会面中

one of us were to, say, complete an oil painting, 假设我们中的一个人，画完了一幅画

you'd recommend that we leave that unsigned? 你建议我们名也不签就把它放在那儿吗?

That's not what I meant. 我不是这个意思

That's what you said. 你就是这么说的

That's not what I meant. 我不是这个意思

This must be how you practice law 你在波卡拉顿就是这么

in Boca Raton, by saying things you don't mean 帮人打官司的吧，言不由衷

and meaning things you don't say. 口是心非

Howard, why is he yelling at me? Howard 这货冲我吼什么?

All right, you were on Jeopardy. 假设你在，"危机边缘"节目现场

Allow me to Alex Trebek this and put it in the form of a question: 你当我是Alex Trebek我现在这么问你:

Who has been a complete waste of our time? 到底是谁在浪费我们的时间?

Marty, let me call you back. Marty 我过会儿再打给你

Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, 未来的某一天，如果我面临人命官司

you'll be hearing from me. 你一定是我的不二人选

You don't need him. I'll represent you. 找他做什么，你有我就够了

Hi.  Hey. What brings you by? 嗨， 什么风把你吹来了?

Oh, had to go to a sales seminar on our new sleeping pill. 我去了一个关于我们新的安眠药的研讨会

Oh. How was it? 哦，怎么样啊?

Great. 很不错

Fell asleep? 听睡着了?

In, like, two minutes. Yeah. 分分钟入眠

So, how is everything going around here? 你这里怎么样了?

Are you still upset about people finding out you're pregnant? 还在因为大家知道你怀孕的事情生气吗?

I'm furious. 气死老娘了

Sure, sure. 理解，理解

Uh, did you ever figure out who told? 你找到那个长舌妇了吗?

No. I confronted Barbara Chen, but she claimed 没，我去找Barbara Chen对质了，但她说

she didn't know what I was talking about. 她完全不知道我再说什么

Hmm. Well, I guess it's just gonna remain a mystery, 我想这恐怕会成为个谜了

you know, like whatever happened in that seminar 你懂吧，就像那个研讨会上关灯以后

after they dimmed the lights. 发生的一样

It had to be Barbara. 肯定是Barbara干的

I've been trying to figure out a way to get back at her. 我一直在想到底要怎么报复回去

Do you think 你觉得

using her work computer to Google 用她的工作专用电脑Google一下

"how to be a prostitute" is over the line? "如何成为妓女"会不会有点过了?

Uh, you know, when I was 你知道吗，当年我

in high school, there was this girl who was talking about me 还在上高中的时候，有个女生一直在我背后

behind my back, so me and all my friends, 说三道四的，所以我和我的小伙伴

we cornered her in the bathroom and forgave her. 把她逼到厕所的墙角里然后，原谅了她

What kind of revenge is that? 这算哪门子的复仇啊?

This woman screwed with my job. She's got to pay. 这个女人毁了我的工作，她必须得付出代价

Okay, all right, honey, you know what? 好吧，行了，亲爱的，你知道吗?

There was something I was too scared to tell you yesterday, 有件事我昨天因为太害怕了没敢告诉你

a... and now... I'm just ballsout terrified to tell you, but... 但是现在...跟你说这事都要吓出翔了，但是...

the truth is it... 事实上真相就是...

wasn't Barbara Chen, it was me. 说了这事的不是Barbara Chen而是我

I'm the reason everyone knows. 我才是大家都知道你怀孕的原因

Why did you do that? 你为什么要这么干啊?

Well, it was an accident. I am so sorry I lied. 可是那只是个意外，真是太对不起了，我对你撒谎了

Get out. 出去