What are you doing here?! 你又在这干嘛?!

Maybe Howard and Bernadette said I could be here! 也许Howard和Bernadette说我可以来!

Did they? 他们真的这么说过?

Answer the question! What are you doing here?! 回答我的问题！你在这干嘛?!

I had nothing else to do tonight. 我今晚没事干

The last couple of months,I come here when I know they're not home.What?! 过去几个月知道他们不在家我就会过来。什么?!

They heard me in the bushes once,but they thought it was a raccoon. 有一次我躲在树丛里但他们以为是只浣熊

I told you raccoons don't say "Uhoh." 我就说浣熊不会喊，"哎哟"

You know, one night, Leonard's nose whistled so loud,I swear it was like sleeping on a train track. 有天晚上，Leonard呼噜声超大我就像睡在了铁轨上

Have you noticed it's always an Aflat?Is it? 你有没有注意到他的呼噜声总是降A调?是吗?

It's like his sinuses are right here in the car. 好像他现在就在车里打呼一样

If we're just going to drive around aimlessly,the least you could do is take me for ice cream. 如果我们要继续这样漫无目的地开下去至少你可以带我去买个冰淇淋

Yeah, I'll take you for ice cream. 好，我带你去买

Well, see, why can't Amy be that subservient? 看吧，为什么Amy就不能像这样听我话?

She has coitus one time, suddenly she's Gloria Steinem. 我们交媾过一次，她就以为自己是Gloria Steinem了

Anyway, I suppose an ice cream parlor will be a good place to meet other women. 反正，我想冰淇淋店应该是个跟女孩子搭讪的好地方

Oh, please, you're barely interested in a physical relationship with one person. 拜托，你连跟一个人发生肉体关系的兴趣都没有

Why would you want to confuse and disappoint others? 为什么还要去祸害别人?

Being with Amy has awoken the sexual creature within. 跟Amy在一起已经唤醒了我潜藏的性欲

When I see a pretty gal walking down the street, I think,"hubba hubba" like any other guy. 看到街上的漂亮妞我也会跟其他男人一样浮想联翩

You kiss your mother with that mouth? 你要用这张嘴亲你妈妈?

'Cause it's fine.Here you go.Thank you. Shall we toast? 你开心就好。给你。谢谢。我们敬个酒吧?

To Howard and Bernadette,and the house key they never asked me to return. 致Howard和Bernadette还有他们一直没要回去的钥匙

You said you got it back. 你说你拿回来了

Well, clearly, I lied. 很明显，我说谎了

So how's your apartment? 你公寓怎么样?

Not great. The electricity's out. 不怎么样，断电了

So why don't you get it fixed? 那你怎么不让人来修?

I called, and they're like, "Pay your bill!" 我打电话了，他们说，"交电费!"

If you ever need somewhere to crash, there's always my place. 如果你需要地方睡觉，我随时欢迎你

Oh, no. I don't want to be an inconvenience. 不了，我不想打扰你

You've got all your lady friends, and... 你有你的女朋友们，而且...

Actually, I'm single now.   What?! 其实，我现在单身。什么?!

When did that happen? 什么时候的事情?

It's okay. It's by choice. 我没事，只是选择了分手

Well, their choice, and it's not okay. 好吧，是她们的选择，我很难过

Oh. Sorry. I didn't know. 对不起，我不知道

Nobody does. I was embarrassed so I didn't say anything. 没人知道，我觉得很丢脸，所以我谁都没说

Why wouldn't he tell us? 他怎么没告诉我们啊?

Are we bad friends? 难道我们是那种糟糕的朋友吗?

He's in our hot tub drinking our wine. 他正在我们的热水浴缸里喝着我们的酒呢

Yeah, he deserves to be alone. 好吧，活该他孤独一生

So you're back out on the dating scene now? 所以你现在是重回情场了?

Yeah, yeah, a little. 是吧，算是

Oh, that must be fun. How's that going? 那肯定很意思啊，进展怎么样?

I'm in a hot tub with you, so pretty bad. 我现在正在跟你泡热水浴呢，所以不咋地啊

Maybe I should just give in to his stupid bathroom schedule. 我是不是就该妥协那蠢卫生间时间表啊

No, don't do that. 不，别那么干

But you did!  Exactly! 但你不就妥协了嘛!  正是啊!

Learn from my mistakes! 你得从我这吸取教训啊!

No matter where I am at 7:18 a.m., 一到早上7点18分，不管人在哪里

there better be a toilet nearby. 我的附近都得有个厕所

It's just so much easier to give him what he wants. 可是直接把他想要的给他，这么做简单多了啊

Oh, true, but think of how much you've accomplished. 说是这么说，但是你就想想你已经取得的成就

Who got him to stop Purelling his pocket change? Me. 谁让他停止给口袋里的零钱消毒了?我

And who got him to put things other than gloves in the glove compartment? Me. 谁成功让他把手套以外的东西放在汽车手套柜的?我

It was mittens. And who got him to try a turkey dog? 那是连指手套啦。又是谁让他试了火鸡热狗的?

That was actually Koothrappali,but I did let him spit it out in my hand. 那实际上是Koothrappali但是我让他把那口吐在我手上啦

Look, how can you stop now? 你怎么能现在停下呢?

That's like walking out of Pinocchio right before he becomes a real boy. 那简直就跟电影放到匹诺曹就要变成真正的小男孩的时候走开不看一样

You know, you're right. 你说的对

I'm in this relationship, too. 我也是这段恋爱关系中的一员啊

I need to stand up for myself.Of course you do. 我得为自己抗议。当然啦

And if he doesn't like it, he can move back here. 如果他不喜欢的话，他就得搬回这里

Oh. He can try. He'd just need a good locksmith. 他倒是可以试试，不过他就得请个好锁匠了

Well, who you gonna hit on? 那你想撩谁呢?

The girl in front of us got strawberry. 坐在我们前面的妹子也买了草莓味

That's your favorite. 你的最爱

No. No, if we both like it, I'll spend the rest of my life opening the freezer and going, "Aw, no strawberry." 不，如果这样的话，我下半辈子就得在打开冰箱然后感慨，"哎呀，草莓味没有了"中度过了

What about the girl behind the counter? 那柜台后面那个妹子怎么样?

Hmm? Well, she spends her whole day scooping. 呃，她整天都在挖冰激凌啊

One arm's probably bigger than the other. 可能一只手臂比另一只粗壮呢

Is it possible you might not actually want to meet someone? 是不是也有可能你其实根本不想认识别人呢?

You are truly wise.  Thank you. 你真是有大智慧啊。谢谢啊

I'd say wise beyond your years, but you're getting up there.All right. 我本来要说超出年龄的睿智，但是你年纪也不小了。好吧

Come on. What is really going on with you? 拜托，你到底是怎么了?

Penny, I am going to tell you a story that I've never told anyone. Penny我要跟你说个故事这个故事我从来没跟任何人说过

All right. I was 13 years old,and on spring break from college. 好吧。我当年13岁正好大学放春假

Not relating. Go on. 跟不上，继续

I came home early because they ran out of math to teach me. 他们教不了我数学了，所以我就提前回家了

Oh, now I'm with ya. Okay. 哦，现在我懂了，然后呢

My mother was at bible study. 我妈在一个圣经学习班

I walked in the house expecting to find it empty,and I heard a sound coming from my parents' bedroom. 我走进家里以为家里没人然后我听到我父母的卧室里传来了什么声音

When I opened the door, 我打开门的时候

I saw my father having relations with another woman. 看见了我父亲正在和另一个女人发生关系

Oh, that's awful!  I know. 这太糟糕了!  就是啊

It's also why I never open a door without knocking three times. 这也是为什么我每次进门前都要敲三次门

I mean, the first one's traditional, but two and three are for people to get their pants on. 我是想，第一次是传统意义上的敲门然后第二次第三次是为了让人把裤子提上

Well, what happened with your dad? 那后来你爸那事怎么了呢?

We locked eyes, I ran to my room,and we never, ever spoke of it. 我们对视了一下，我跑回了自己的房间然后我们再也没说起过这事

You poor thing. 你这个可怜的小倒霉

Since Amy and I have been living together,we've been bickering like my parents used to. 自从Amy和我住在一起以后我们一直在跟我父母以前一样吵架

And you're afraid you're gonna do something like your dad did? 你是怕你会做跟你爸类似的事吗?

Yes. I need to prepare her now to save her from pain down the road.Down the road? 是的，我得让她现在做好准备让她免除以后的痛苦。以后的痛苦?

Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you,and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women! Sheldon她只是想跟你分享一个牙刷架而你现在却在冰激凌店里试图撩妹子!

Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone. 哎呀，什么事用你这种语气说出来都会变蠢的

Honey, instead of worrying about pain 亲爱的，与其担心未来

you might cause in the future, how about trying to fix the pain you're causing her right now? 你有可能引起的痛苦，为什么不试着解除你现在带给她的痛苦呢?

I'm sure you're right. 我想你是对的

I suppose I should apologize to you, as well.Okay. 我觉得我也应该跟你道歉。好吧

That must have hurt watching me look for other women without ever even considering you. 看我勾搭其他女人，却根本没考虑到你一定让你很受伤

Please understand that I think of you as more of a nanny. 请一定要理解，你在我眼里更像个保姆

Just finish your ice cream so I can get you home to bed. 把冰激凌吃完吧，好让我把你带回家睡觉

I wonder if this is what it feels like to be Bernadette's baby. 我在想这是不是就是做Bernadette宝宝的感觉

I don't know. Bernadette's baby doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet hitting just the right spot. 我不觉得，Bernadette的宝宝可没有按摩喷气孔拍打着我的关键部位

Those jets are for my secret spot, not his! 那些喷气孔是为我的关键部位服务的，不是他!

What do you do in there?! 你在那里面都干些什么啊?!

It's called relaxing, and that's all you need to know. 反正是放松就对了，你不用知道更多了

Well, it's getting late. 现在已经很晚了

Maybe we should head home. 我们是不是该回家了

Yeah, you're probably right.You coming? Yeah, just give me a minute.  Why? 你说得对。走吗?嗯，等我一下。为什么?

Well, you know how you're wearing a bathing suit? Yeah? 你看你是穿着泳裤的对吧?是啊?

I kind of went the other way. 我好像没和你一样走寻常路

You jackasses just bought yourselves a hot tub! 你们这俩混蛋给我把这个热水浴缸买走!

What do you think? 你觉得怎样?

It's a nice enough spot. 这位子还可以啊

You know, if I'm going to start standing up for myself,this is exactly the kind of thing... 如果我要开始为自己抗议的话这正是我要做的...

We're back! Oh, hi! Hi!Hello. 我们回来啦!嗨!嗨!哈喽

How you guys doing? 你们怎么样啊?

We're doing good. I think 我们挺好的，我觉得

Sheldon has something he would like to say to Amy. Sheldon有些话想要对Amy说

I wanted to apologize for my behavior today. It... 我想为我今天的行为道歉，那...

It was unnecessary. This is warm. 那都是不必要的。这位子很暖和啊

Oh, and also, I am willing to forego the bathroom schedule.Oh. Really? 还有，我愿意放弃卫生间时间表，真的吗?

Why does she get that?! We never got that! 凭什么她能捞到这么好的事?!我们从来没有!

Do you want him back? 你想让他回来吗?

I'm very happy for you. 我很为你们感到高兴

Amy, you should know I was never really interested in seeing other women. Amy你应该知道我从来就没想要约其他女性

And to prove how serious I am about us,I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level. 而为了证明我对我们的关系有多么认真我愿意将我们的关系带入到下一个层面

Amy Farrah Fowler,will you share this toothbrush holder with me? Amy Farrah Fowler小姐你愿意跟我共享这个牙刷架吗?

I would love to.Did we really need to be here for this? 我愿意。我们真的需要在这里见证这个吗?

Call me crazy, but I found it moving. 你觉得我疯了也没关系，但是我觉得这很感人