Hey, Stuart.What are you doing here? 嘿，Stuart你在这干嘛呢?

Oh, I'm living here again. 我又住进来了

Do, uh, Howard and Bernadette know? 那Howard和Bernadette知道吗?

Or is like a possum in the walls kind of thing? 还是偷偷摸摸昼伏夜出的?

No. I needed a place to stay, and with the baby coming, I figured they could use some extra help. 才不是，我需要地方住而且，宝宝就要出生了我觉得我可以帮点忙

Hey, tomorrow, who wants to paint the nursery? 明天谁想刷一下婴儿房啊?

I'll do it. Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist. 我来吧。为什么让你去刷婴儿房?我才是艺术家

Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist. 你穷，不代表你就是艺术家

Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving. 看上去病态不代表我就穷了

Howard?I think I'm in labor. Howard啊?我觉得我要生了

Oh. Oh, okay. Okay.  Uh, uh, uh, I can do this. 噢，好吧。好吧，我行的

We have a plan. 我们做过准备的

Somebody please tell me the plan! 快说说我们的准备是什么啊!

I'll get the hospital bag. 我去拿陪产包

I'll pull the van up. 我去发动车子

Meet you outside in two minutes. 两分钟后在门外碰面

Team Baby, go!Oh, man. 生娃队，冲啊!妈呀，兄弟

This is really happening. 这是真的开始了啊

You doin' okay? 你还好吗?

Here comes another contraction. 又来了一次宫缩

Let's pick it up! All right, hold on. 那咱们得加速啊!好吧，抓紧了

I'm gonna drive like we do in India. 我现在要像我们在印度的时候那样开车了

Get out of my way, you syphilitic dogs! 从我的道上滚开，你们这些脏狗!

Stop that! This isn't India. Fine. 停下!这里可不是印度啊，好吧

What do one point three billion people know about having babies? 13亿人口的大国对生孩子肯定没什么经验哈?

Sorry. I know you were just trying to help.I love you. 对不起，我知道你只是想帮忙，我爱你

I love you, too. We're good. 我也爱你，我们没事了

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state 宇宙一度又烫又稠密，*

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! 140亿年前终于爆了炸...等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool 地球开始降温，

The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools 自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具

We built the Wall We built the pyramids 我们建长城，我们建金字塔，

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery 数学，自然科学，历史，揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang Amy?Wake up. 一切由大爆炸开始，喂，Amy?醒醒

Wh... What's wrong? It's midnight. Happy birthday. 什...怎了啦?午夜了生日快乐

Sheldon. Okay, you can have this back in the morning.This is for you. 喔，Sheldon，好吧，你可以早晨再把这个拿回去。这是给你的

I was going to wrap it,but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebiejeebies. 我本来想把它包一下的但是触摸透明胶带让我感觉方方的

I'll put in on the list with peaches and felt. 我会把它跟桃子一起加入黑名单的

What is this?A functional MRI of my brain. 这是什么?我大脑的功能性核磁共振

I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped. 他们给我做这个之前我做了数独，这样我看起来比较有型

I love it. Thank you. 我超爱这个，谢谢

And it's not just an MRI. 而且这不仅仅只是个核磁共振

The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up because I was thinking of you. 眶额叶皮质是亮着的因为我在想你

Sheldon!We seem to be moving on to the annual coitus portion of your birthday festivities. 喔，Sheldon!看来我们正向着你生日节庆的年度交媾部分迈进

Is that okay? I didn't put on my comehither plaid PJ's for nothing. 那可以吗?我可不是白白穿了这身情趣格子睡衣的

You hate Scotch tape, but you love Scotch plaid. 你憎恨"苏格兰"胶带，但是你却爱着苏格兰格子，美国透明胶带着名品牌"苏格兰"

You are a mystery. Guys, wake up! 你真是个迷。伙计们，醒醒!

Bernadette's having her baby! Bernadette要生了!

Come on, we're going to the hospital! 快，我们正要去医院!

I guess... I guess we should stop. 我想...我想我们应该停下来

Yeah. I'm afraid so. 是的，恐怕是这样的

Childbirth, looming coitus? 分娩的阴影笼罩了交媾?

This is a banner night for female genitals. 这是女性生殖器高举旗帜的一晚啊

Now I see three of you. 我看到你们有三个人

Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense? 我们知道父亲是谁吗，还是剧情发展是"妈妈咪呀"那样的?

I'm the father. 我是孩子的父亲

Okay, Dad, how far apart are the contractions? 好吧，他爸，宫缩频率多少了?

No idea. Ask him. 12 minutes. 12 minutes? Why are you here? 完全不知道，问他12分钟一次才12分钟?那你们为什么会在这里啊?

Aren't we supposed to get here an hour and a half early? 我们难道不应该提前一个半小时来吗?

This is a hospital, not the airport. 这是医院，不是机场

I'm sorry. It's our first time. It's okay. 不好意思，这是我们第一次，没事

This little one will be here before you know it. 这小家伙不知不觉就出来了

Do we know what we're having? 知道男女了吗?

No, we're keeping it a surprise. 不，我们想要个惊喜

Old school. Nice. 走老规矩嘛，不错

Not that old school. He knows. 也没那么守老规矩，他知道

You see, I was at the doctor's office,the folder was right there, so I took a peek. 我当时正好在医生的办公室然后那个文件夹就放在那里，所以我就瞄了一眼

And talking like this doesn't make it less creepy. Sweetheart, go home. 而你这么说话也不能掩盖瞄这种行为啊。甜心，回家吧

Come back when the contractions are five minutes apart for an hour. 等到宫缩5分钟一次持续一小时了以后再回来

I'm sorry. That's ambiguous. 不好意思。这说得就模糊了啊

Is it five minutes apart starting at the top of the hour,or five minutes apart starting 你是说算上第一次开始持续一小时还是说第一次宫缩以后

with the first contraction, so essentially, like, 65 minutes? 再开始算，也就是实际上65分钟?

I'm just throwing this out there, but home births are very popular these days. 我就这么一说啊但是在家生产最近也很火的

Sheldon, what took you so long? Sheldon你刚刚怎么这么久啊?

Wolowitz might hand out cigars. Wolowitz可能会发雪茄

I had to find my bubble gum cigar so I could join in without looking foolish. 我得找到我的泡泡糖雪茄这样我就不会傻傻的不合群了

Damn, I need my inhaler.Just don't smoke. 该死，我需要我的吸入器。别抽就好啊

No, I went down the stairs too fast. 没，我下楼下太快了

Hey. Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home. 嘿。别来医院了，我们准备回家了

Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out? 哦，好快啊，她打个喷嚏就把宝宝喷出来了吗?

We showed up too early. We'll keep you posted. 我们来的太早了，有情况会随时通知你的

Okay, well, we'll talk to you guys later. Bye. 好吧，我们待会聊，拜

She said not to come. It's gonna be a while. 她说不用去了，应该得有一阵子

Well, first deliveries can be slow. 第一次生孩子可能会慢

I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid. 看来给这孩子买闪电侠连体衣是个错误决定了

I found it, but it's empty. 我找到了，但它是空的

Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now. 没事了，我们现在不去医院了

Are you sure? I'd really like to. 真的?我很想去啊

Well, should we, uh, head back up? 嗯，那我们是不是该上去了啊

Come on, guys.We're all awake. Why don't we go to a diner or something? 得了吧，各位我们都醒着，不如去个餐厅或者什么别的?

Oh, uh, I don't know. 呃，我不知道

Sheldon, you don't want to do that, do you? Sheldon你不想去餐厅吧?

It doesn't matter what I want. 我想要什么不要紧

It's your birthday. You decide.  Oh, my God! 今天是你的生日，你做决定， 我的天啊

It's your birthday! Let's do something fun. 今天是你生日!我们玩点有趣的吧

We could go to a bar. 我们可以去酒吧

Well...Okay, I can breathe again. Babe, they want to have sex. 嗯...好了，我又能呼吸了，亲爱的，他们想啪啪啪

Oh, of course! The annual birthday booty spectacular! 哦，那当然了!年度生日肉体大会!

That's a bit childish, isn't it? 你不觉得幼稚吗?

I'm sorry, and what flavor is your bubble gum cigar? 不好意思，你的泡泡糖雪茄是什么味道的?

Grape. I find it the most mild. 葡萄味，我觉得它的味道最适中

All right, well, you two go have fun. 好吧，你们俩去快活吧

If we find my backup inhaler, maybe we can get frisky. 如果我能找到备用的吸入器，我们也能来一发

Oh, you sexy, wheezy little man. 你个性感又气喘吁吁的小矮人啊

Do you really need to record this? 你真的要把这个录下来吗?

You'll be happy I did. 我录了你会很开心的

Okay, little one, here we are back at home because you weren't quite ready to come out yet. 好了，小家伙，我们又回家了因为你还没做好出来的准备

You wanted to make an entrance. I get it. 我知道你想要闪亮登场

And here's your daddy. 这边就是你的爸爸

When he tries to tell you he used to be cool,you can see he wasn't. 如果他告诉你他之前有多酷的话你会发现事实并不是如此

All right, enough with the camera. 你还有完没完了?

Well, this is not for me. This is for the baby. 这可不是给我的，这是给小宝宝的

Some day she's gonna want to see this.I'm sorry. 总有一天她会想看这个的，不好意思

Who's gonna want to see this? 谁会想看这个?

I... I said she, but lots of things are she boats and cars,whales. Like, "There she blows." 我...我说的是她，但是很多东西都可以是她啊船汽车鲸鱼，比如，"她喷出水柱啦"一种用来表示见到鲸鱼的惊讶之情的传统航海术语

You're doing great. 干得漂亮

Raj!Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. Raj啊!我现在准备结束录制了

This next part may contain some adult language. 接下来这部分可能会包含少儿不宜的词汇

How could you?! 你怎么能这样?!

We made it this far without knowing,and you ruined it! 这么长时间以来我们都不知道然而你把一切都毁了!

Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is to know something like this and not say it! 你们永远都不会理解保守一个这么大的秘密有多难!

You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it. 你告诉我这是个女孩，我就没说出去啊

Raj!  You were supposed to keep that to yourself. Raj啊!  你不应该说出来的

Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard. So...where were we? 好像是诶，是挺难的。所以...我们进行到哪了?

Well, I believe we were kissing like randy teenagers,and your nose was whistling ever so slightly. 我觉得我们在像干柴烈火的青少年一样亲吻你的鼻子在发出轻微的喘息声

I'm sorry.Oh, don't be.You were like a foxy tea kettle. 对不起。别这样。你就像一个狐媚的茶壶一样

Well, shall we start over?Very well. 我们能重新来吗?可以

What's wrong?  I'm not sure. 怎么了?我也不知道

Earlier tonight, things began organically,and now it's feeling forced, like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. 刚刚，一切都很自然的现在却感觉有人在强迫一样就跟"加勒比海盗"所有的续集一样

Okay, that makes sense. 这说得通

I mean, the mood's a little different now. 我是说，现在的氛围有些不一样了

We... we don't have to rush. 我们不用太仓促

Oh, I know, but Leonard and Penny think we're doing it,and I don't want to disappoint them. 我知道，但是Leonard和Penny觉得我们在啪我不想让他们失望

And the mood continues to change. 气氛又开始变了

No, and also, I don't want to disappoint you. I... 不，还有就是，我不想让你失望，我...

You know, come on. It's your birthday. 算了，来吧，这是你的生日

I can soldier through this.HHold on. 我能挺过去的。等等

I think I might have a little surprise that might help get things back on track. 我觉得我有个能让一切重归正轨的小惊喜给你

Intriguing.Is back on track a hint that it has something to do with trains? 有趣。重回正轨是不是暗示着这和火车有关啊?

No.Because if it did have to do with trains, and you were gonna give...  It's not about trains! 不是。因为如果真的和火车有关的话，而且你还准备给我...  跟火车没关系哟!

Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper car on the Orient Express? 那么是东方快车上舒服的卧铺车?

Stop talking about trains! 别再说火车了!

Who's killing the mood now? 那现在是谁在破坏氛围?

Found the backup inhaler. Want to have sex? 我找到备用吸入器了，想啪啪啪吗?

Well, I didn't until I heard that. 本来不想，但现在想了

Hang on. I'm counting. It's okay. Mm. Hello! 等等，我在数数。好了各位!

Howard and Bernadette kicked me out because I told them they're having a girl! Oopsy, I did it again. Howard和Bernadette把我赶出来了就因为我告诉了他们生的是女儿!哎呀不好，我又说了一次