I broke up with her.Why? 我和她分手了。为什么?

She said she didn't want to see me anymore and I found that insulting. 她说不想再见到我了这话冒犯了我

I thought things were going well. What happened? 我还以为你俩很融洽，这是怎么了?

I don't know, she didn't even give me a reason. 我不知道，她连个理由都没给我

Oh, not a problem, we can figure this out. 这不是问题，我们能弄清楚的

What are the reasons women reject Raj? 为什么妹子们会拒绝杰拉?

Can we not play this game? 能不玩这游戏吗?

Doesn't like games. That's one.Ignore him. 不喜欢玩游戏，理由一。别理他

Yeah, sorry about the breakup. 没错，你分手了，真遗憾

That's okay, I'm fine. 没关系，我没事的

Of course you're fine. 你当然没事

Not every member of a species finds a mate. 并不是每个物种的所有生物都能找到配偶

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. 艾萨克?牛顿爵士去世的时候还是个处

Look at the contributions he made. 看看他的伟大贡献

I'm not a virgin, Sheldon. 我不是处，谢尔顿

Wha... So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?  Oh. 什...你觉得你比艾萨克?牛顿还优秀?哦

No wonder women don't like you. 活该没妹子喜欢你

You're not being very nice. 你这话可不厚道

What? He said he was fine. 什么?他自己说没事的

Sometimes people say things they don't mean. 有时候人们会言不由衷

Oh, that's a paradox. 真是个悖论

I... If you meant what you just said,then that means you may not have meant what you just said. 如...如果你说话由衷那么就意味着你说的话也许并不由衷

Careful, I saw this on Star Trek. 小心点，我在星际迷航里看过这桥段

Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon. 他的耳朵马上就要冒烟了

Hey.  Hey, boys. How's it going? 嘿， 嘿，大家都好吗?

Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation,but it turns out, I was being offensive. 我以为我们刚才聊得挺开心的结果发现我冒犯别人了

So, normal.Sheldon, what did you do? 太正常了。谢尔顿你干了什么?

We were discussing Raj's recent breakup and apparently, I was insensitive to him. 我们在讨论杰拉最近分手的事显然我对他的心情不够敏感

It's okay, I'm fine. You di... Don't fall for it. 没关系，我没事的。你刚...别上当了

He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin, and suddenly you're the bad guy. 他会让你把他和个已逝处男比较突然你就成坏人了

Sheldon, when I said I was fine, I meant I didn't want to talk about it anymore. 谢尔顿我说我没事意思是我不想在谈论这个话题了

Then why didn't you say that? 那你为什么不直说?

Because that's not what people do. 因为大家都不会直说

Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind. 我倒希望大家能告诉我我们心里真正的想法

No. No, you don't, you really don't. 别，你真的别这么想

I actually can't say "don't" enough. 我真的没法更强调这一点

Well, it certainly would be easier. 这样肯定会更方便

You have no idea what it's like to struggle with recognizing emotional cues. 你真的不明白要弄清楚别人情感提示有多纠结

I'm sure it's extremely frustrating. 我知道这很让人沮丧

Thank you.  And also a little sad. 谢谢，还有点可悲

O... Okay, now you're just showing off. 好吧...你开始显摆了

You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions. 我最近读到说麻省理工有个小组开发了一种能帮助人们读懂他人情绪的设备

And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool. 你觉得能让他们来帮忙再造下谢尔顿吗?太棒了

It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time. 据说挺准的，正确率高达85%

Wow, I find that hard to believe. 我觉得有点难以置信

That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them? 你不信一群毫无社交技能的笨拙科学家会发明个设备来干这活吗?

I take it back. I believe it. 我收回刚才那句话，我信了

You know, if it's at MIT, I can make some calls. 如果是麻省理工的小组，我可以联系一下

Maybe we can get Sheldon a prototype. 也许可以给谢尔顿弄个原型机

What do you think? 你觉得呢?

A machine that reads emotions is intriguing. 能读懂情绪的机器挺有吸引力的

It could help me be a more considerate friend. 它能帮我成为一位更体贴的朋友

Wouldn't that be nice. 这样挺好的

It could also help me identify my enemies, discover their fears and then... 还能帮我分辨出敌人发现他们恐惧的东西...

I could use those fears to destroy them. 然后利用这些来摧毁他们

I like the first one. 我比较喜欢第一个理由

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state 宇宙一度又烫又稠密，

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! 140亿年前终于爆了炸...等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool 地球开始降温，

The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools 自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具，

We built the Wall We built the pyramids 我们建长城，我们建金字塔，

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery 数学，自然科学，历史，揭开神秘，

That all started with a big bang 一切由大爆炸开始，

Now that Sheldon's across the hall,have you decided what you're doing with his old room? 现在谢尔顿住到你对门去了你打算怎么处理他原先的房间?

I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room. 我想改成书房或者游戏室

You could make it a train room. 你可以改成火车房

I don't like trains. You like trains. 喜欢火车的不是我，是你

I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room. 我知道，但艾米不肯给我火车房

Sheldon, I just heard from the guys at MIT about that emotion reader. They're sending a prototype for you to beta test. 谢尔顿我刚收到麻省理工发来的关于情绪探测器的消息，他们会发个原型机给你试用一下

Wonderful.Although I'm not sure how I feel about being used as a guinea pig. 太棒了虽然我不知道能否接受自己被当成小白鼠

Well, when you get the machine, you can find out. 等你收到机器，就能弄清楚了

Maybe I could use it to understand why women keep dumping me. 也许我能用那个弄清楚为什么妹子们总甩我

Oh, you don't need a machine for that, just send a survey card to all your exgirlfriends and tell them if they fill it out they might win a prize. 要弄清那个不用机器，只需要给你的前女友们发个意见调查卡，告诉她们填写完毕就有机会赢得大奖

That's actually not a bad idea. Maybe I could even get them all together, sort of like a... a focus group, to find out what's wrong with me. 这主意其实不坏，也许我可以把她们都找来，办个...焦点访谈弄清楚我到底有什么问题

No, Raj, that's a terrible idea.Yeah, I was joking.You... Really? 别办，杰拉这主意糟透了没错，我是开玩笑的你...真的吗?

Uh, little tip: jokes are often better when you end them with "Wocka Wocka" or "hachacha." 一点小提示:开玩笑的时候结尾加上"哇哈哈"或"红红火火"效果更好

Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room, and if I leave the curtains open, 好消息，我想要的电视机能放进游戏室，如果窗帘拉开

I can watch it from work. 我上班的时候也能看

Hey, can you hold off redoing the room? 嘿，你能晚些再改装房间吗?

My brother's coming out here in a few weeks. 我哥哥几周后要来

Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. What's going on with your brother? 好，当然没问题，你哥哥怎么了?

My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work. 我爸问我能否在我上班的地方给他弄个面试

Huh. Is that a good idea? 这主意好吗?

I mean, you think they'll consider someone 我是说他们会考虑聘用

who was in prison for selling drugs? 一个因贩毒入狱的人吗?

Well, I sell pharmaceuticals. 我就是卖药的

That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs. 这词就是难拼点，本质是一样的

Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate 我保证他肯定会开心

carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon. 样品都能塞在箱子里，而不是菊花里

How long do you think he'll stay? 你觉得他会住多久?

I... I'm not sure. Maybe a few days. 我不确定，也许几天

Unless he gets the job, then who knows? 除非他找到工作，不然天知道

Hmm. "Who knows?" That's exciting. "天知道"真让人激动

I'll get to wake up every morning 我每天早上起来

and see if he's still here. 都能看看他还在不在了

You don't have a problem with this, do you? 你对这事没意见吧?

Of course not. I mean, he's your brother. 没有，他毕竟是你哥哥

Okay. Thank you, you're the best. 好，谢谢，你最好了

Remember that when the new TV falls off the wall and crushes us both. 等新电视从墙上掉下来砸到我们的时候你还记得这话就好

This thing's pretty cool. 这东西好棒

It interprets emotions using a wireless signal to analyze subtle changes in breathing and heart rate. 它能通过无线信号分析呼吸和心率的微妙变化从而解析情绪

It's amazing a machine can do that. Yes. 机器能做到这点很厉害没错

Now, when the robots rise up, they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time. 等机器人崛起的时候他们就能明白我一直都很支持他们了

The display is synced to your phone. 显示器已经同步到你的手机了

Give it a try.All right. 你试试，好了

Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see if the machine can identify them accurately. 我会通过浏览一些图片产生情绪反应，我们看看这个机器能否准确识别

Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad,angry and excited. 提醒一句，它只能识别开心，伤心愤怒和兴奋

Not other things you're feeling, like,"What have I done with my life?" 其它情绪它可读不懂比如"我的人生怎么一团糟"

Okay, I'm looking at the first picture. 好，我在看第一张图片了

You are...happy? Yes. I'm looking at puppies. 你很...开心?对，我看的是小狗

Aw. Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth, but all right. 某人忽略了它们的小尖牙不过没关系

Try another one.  Okay. 再试一个，好

What does it say I'm feeling? Sad. 我是什么情绪?伤心

Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma. 没错，我正在看我奶奶的照片

Oh, that makes sense, because she's gone and you miss her. Yes. 我懂了，你伤心是因为她去世了，而你很想念她，是啊

And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future. 你还在担心以后自己的脖子也会变得那么粗糙

What, now, see... Now it says you're mad. 怎么回事，现在...它说你生气了

Make up your mind.Okay, Emily. 女人真是善变，好的，艾米丽

Yeah, sounds great.See you then. 没问题，再见

Is that Emily your exgirlfriend? 这个艾米丽是你那个前女友吗?

Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together in order to discuss why they broke up with me and how I can be a better boyfriend. 是啊，我正在通知我所有的前任们来我家一起讨论一下她们和我分手的原因以及我应该如何做一个更好的男朋友

Oh, God. You went through with that? 我的妈呀，你真打算这么干?

What is wrong with you? 你脑子有毛病吧?

We are going to find out. 有没有毛病到时候就知道了

Why would you do that, Raj? 你为什么要这么干啊，杰拉?

Well, I want information in order to improve myself. 因为我想知道如何提升自己

You're not gonna get information,you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings. 这样行不通的你只会被骂的很伤心

Don't worry, I'm a grown man. 没事啦，我这么成熟的人，不怕批评

I have a thick skin.You're so stupid.Hey! 毕竟我脸皮厚嘛，你个傻逼喂!

Hey, would you take a look at my brother's resume? 嘿，帮我看看我哥哥的简历吧?

I'm trying to help him clean it up a little.Yeah, sure. 我想帮他改好看些，好啊

He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency? 他真的和缉毒署有过合作?

He didn't know it till he was cuffed, but yeah. 他被抓之前都不知道，不过也算是吧

Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it,no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector. 嗨，莱纳德如果感到开心你也不用拍拍手因为我有情绪探测器

How's it working out?Surprisingly well. 这东西好用吗?超级好用

That's great, I'm happy for you. No, wait, uh, hold on. 那就好，真替你高兴等下，等下

Oh, what, you are. Aren't you sweet? 啊我看到你是真的高兴，你人真好!

What's that? Are you working on your resume? 这是什么?你在写简历吗?

No, it's my brother's. I'm trying to help him get a job out here. 不是，这是我哥哥的简历我想帮他在这边找份工作

Oh, ooh! And that makes Leonard angry.No, it doesn't. 哦! 莱纳德很不爽这件事啊，没有

What, Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it. 拜托，莱纳德我知道什么表情是生气

It's this red frowny guy on my phone. 就是手机上这种红色的皱眉小人

What? Are you really upset about Randall coming? No.  Yes. 哈?你真的不想让兰德尔过来吗?没有，有的

I said no.  I... It's like you're twins. 我说了没有，你俩看起来一模一样

Leonard, if you're mad about this, just tell me.Fine. 莱纳德你要是不爽的话就告诉我啊好吧

You invited your drug dealer brother to stay with us for God knows how long and didn't bother to ask me first. 你连个招呼都没和我打，就让那个毒贩哥哥来和我们同住，而且还不知道要住多久

He's my brother!I didn't think I needed your permission. 那是我哥哥啊!难道还要经你允许才可以来家里住嘛

Well, hey. Now she's angry, too. 嘿，她现在也生气了呢

This thing works like gangbusters. 这玩意比警察还靠谱

I'm not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay. 我没说要经过我允许但你在答应之前至少也该和我说一声吧

Like you talked to me about your gaming room? Our gaming room! 你布置你的游戏室之前和我商量过吗?是我们的游戏室!

I was gonna put a scented candle in it. 我还打算在屋里给你放个香薰蜡烛呢

He's still mad. Stop enjoying their fight.You first. 他还是在生气，别幸灾乐祸了你不也乐在其中

If you were this upset,why didn't you say so when I told you? 你要是这么不爽的话那我第一次告诉你的时候你怎么不说?

Because I didn't want to sound like a jerk. 因为我不想让你觉得我很混蛋

Well, you sound like one now. I don't see the big deal if my brother comes and stays for a while. 可是你现在就是混蛋，我觉得我哥哥过来和我们住一段时间没有什么问题

If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever! 要是真的给他找到了工作，他会在这住一辈子的!

He would get his own place. 他能自己找到住处

Has he ever had his own place? Yes! 他以前自己找到过吗?当然!

Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed? It still counts. 是不是那种床边有金属马桶的房间?那又怎样

You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon? You... Hey! 你觉得这事和你让我和谢尔顿住一起有什么区别?你...啊喂!

I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you. 我还把我的蜂蜜坚果麦片分给你了呢

You gave me a bill at the end of every month.Stay out of this. 你每个月底还给我麦片的账单呢你别管这事

You and your stupid machine started this fight! 都怪你和你的傻逼机器引战!

You are lucky that this feelings machine doesn't have feelings. 幸好这台情绪探测器不会闹情绪