Gladly. Can we storm out? 正想走呢，我们能摔门嘛?

I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it. Fine. 假如说出来，摔门就没意义了好吧

I'll just give them the finger. 那我就比个手势好了

Okay, first off,I want to thank you all so much for coming. 首先感谢各位来到这里

Howard is here to interpret for Emily,and to take notes. 霍华德在这里一方面是给艾米丽翻译手语同时也会帮我做一些笔记

No, he doesn't think it's stupid. 没有，他不觉得自己蠢

Uh, heads up, both of you are named Emily,so we'll call you "redheaded Emily" and you,"redheaded Emily, Junior." 另外，你们两位都叫艾米丽所以我会叫你"红发艾米丽"而你是"小红发艾米丽"

Hey, you went out with him. I didn't. 嘿，和他约会的是你，可不是我

Okay, uh, let's get things started. 那我们开始吧

Um, why don't we go around the room,say your name,and why you broke up with me. 不如你们按顺序说一下自己的名字还有和我分手的原因

Want to kick it off? 你来起个头吧?

Oh, okay. Um... I'm Lucy,and I broke up with Raj because I have severe social anxiety, 好吧，呃...我叫露西然后，我跟杰拉分手是因为我有严重的社交恐惧

and he kept trying to force me into uncomfortable situations. 但是他还一再强迫我参加一些让我很不舒服的活动

Like this one?Yeah.I did do that. 比如今天这种?没错确实是我不好

I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries. 我有时候会不太尊重别人的底线

Howard, would you write that down? 霍华德帮我记下来好不?

Oh... schmuck. Got it.Uh, next? Okay. Um...I'm Claire. 好...傻逼，记下来了下一位?呃...我是克莱尔

And I guess I broke up with you because you were just really needy. 我和你分手大概是因为你太粘人了

Also, you were incredibly vain... like, all the time you spent shaping your eyebrows... 而且你实在是太浮夸了..你花那么多时间修你的眉毛...

Okay, new rule... everybody only gets one.Uh, next? 好了，新规则...每人只能说一个分手原因，下一位?

Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard. 唔，我不太确定当着霍华德的面讨论我们之间的细节是否合适

Oh. He's here to support me, so anything you have to say you can say in front of him. 没事，他是来帮我的，所以不管你想说什么都完全可以当着他的面说

Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed... 好吧，就是每次我们啪啪啪...

Howard, get out.Not a chance. 霍华德你出去，我才不

So, you were telling us how Raj was terrible in bed. 所以你是想说杰拉在床上的表现不太好吧

Sheldon, dinner's ready. 谢尔登晚饭好啦

I made beef loaf, because I know you're uncomfortable with the nonspecificity of meat loaf. 我做了牛肉饼因为我知道你不喜欢肉饼这种模糊的命名法

Sheldon? Hey, are you okay? Not really. What's going on? 怎么了，谢尔登?你没事吧?有事怎么了?

I wish I never tried that device. 我希望我从来没用过那个探测器

And I know I said the same thing after the massage chair,but this time I mean it. 我知道用过按摩椅之后我也这么说但是这次我是真心的

I'm sorry Leonard and Penny hurt your feelings. 真抱歉，莱纳德和佩妮惹你不开心了

It's more than that. It's me. 不只是这个是我自己的问题

I always knew I had trouble recognizing other people's emotions,but that machine just made it so real. 我一直都知道自己不太善于分辨别人的情绪但是这台机器让我清楚地看到了这一点

Well, everybody has things that they need help with. 每个人都有一些需要帮助的小缺陷啊

Like me... I can't see without my glasses. 像我...不戴眼镜就什么都看不见

And right now you're just a, a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge. 所以现在，在我眼里，你就是粉粉的一坨还穿着一坨幼稚的绿色衣服

I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not. 我以为我已经变好一些了，可是看起来并没有

Yes, you are. 你确实变好了很多啊

There have definitely been days when I was sad and you could tell. 有过好几次我伤心的时候你都看得出来

Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel. 是啊，但这只是小菜一碟

You're kind of a sad sack. 你就长了一副苦瓜脸

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. 对不起，我不该这样说

I'm just upset. 我只是不开心

No, see, right there,you knew you hurt my feelings. 不，你看你知道你的话伤到我了

And I'm proud of you...for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father. 我为你骄傲...我的面相可能跟我爸有点关系

And if you don't like that machine, get rid of it. 如果你不喜欢那个机器就不要用它了

Because I love you exactly the way you are. 因为我爱的就是真实的你

I feel the same way about you. 我对你也一样

Now, put your glasses back on. 先把你的眼镜戴回去

You look weird. 你看起来很奇怪

I thought you were great, but, oh, my God, you were so dominated by your parents. 我觉得你很好可是，天啊你太听父母的话了

Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts. 对对对我之前也很抓狂

He's kind of a mama's boy.Kind of?   Whoa, okay!That's enough. 他有点妈宝，有点而已吗?好了，停!够了够了

Write down "loving son." 记下"孝顺儿子"

Can I just say something? 我可以插一下话吗?

Going out with Raj was one of the best things that ever happened to me. 跟杰拉在一起是我最宝贵的经历之一

Yes, I'll take you back.Let me finish. 好，我们可以复合。让我说完

It's like I needed to go through that experience to know what exactly I don't want in a man. 就好像我需要经过这段感情才会知道我不想要什么样的男朋友

Well, that's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back. 好吧，有点难听，但我还是愿意跟你复合的

You know, the same thing happened to me. 我也有一样的经历

After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary, who's just amazing. 我跟杰拉分手后，遇到了加里他超棒的

Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two? 不好意思，加里拼写是一个r还是两个r?

Would you stop writing?! 你能不能别写了?!

Just wait. So... did all of you go on to better relationships after me? 等等，所以...你们在我之后都遇到了更好的人吗?

Oh, yeah. Without question.Little before, actually.Oh, wow. 是啊，绝对的其实，是在跟你分手之前就遇到了哇

Don't let him get away.Wait.What did she say? 别让他跑了，等会，她说什么?

Uh, basically, she traded you for Bruce Wayne. 简单来说就是，跟你分手后她跟布鲁斯?韦恩在一起了

Okay, maybe we should just end this.Wait, hang on. 好吧，或许我们该结束了等一下

I just want to point out to everyone here,this is a man who is going to great lengths to better himself. 我想跟大家说这个男人想尽办法想让自己变得更好

Even at the risk of...being humiliated. 即使...他可能会被羞辱

And I, for one, think that's very brave. 我觉得，至少这样很勇敢

Thank you, Howard. 谢谢，霍华德

Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together. 老实讲，我很惊讶你们两个为什么最后没有在一起

Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him to find Bernadette. 就像你们说的，我得忍受过他才遇到了伯纳黛特

With it were you.Yes? 你就是有这种属性，怎么?

We owe you an apology. 我们欠你一个道歉

Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase,I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase. 没关系，你当时需要个行李箱我又不在家，所以才直接拿了我的

That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.Oh. 那是六年前，我说的是今晚，喔

Well, I thought we were going in order. 我以为我们要按顺序来

Look, we got really angry at each other, and you just got caught in the middle of it. 我们在生对方的气不小心波及到你

And...sorry about the suitcase. 还有...行李箱的事，对不起

Yeah, well, you should be. 你确实得道歉

Your socks were still in it. 你的袜子还留在里面

I had to throw it away. 我只能把行李箱扔了

Anyway,I, uh, trust that you've resolved your conflict. 不管怎样我相信你们的矛盾已经解决了

Yes, we're fine. 是的，我们和好了

Mm, Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not a good time for Randall to visit. 佩妮会打电话跟她爸爸说兰德尔现在过来不是很合适

Hopefully, he won't be too upset. 希望他不要太失望

Oh, you're his little girl... he can't stay mad at you. 你是他的宝贝女儿，他不会生你气的

He won't be mad at me. I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so... 他才不会生我气，你才是那个不想让我哥哥过来住的人，所以...

So you're gonna throw me under the bus? 你打算背后出卖我?

Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard,I might actually win a stuffed animal. 我还打算狠狠地卖说不定还能赢回个毛绒玩具

Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again. 听起来好像你们又要发飙了

That's because we are.Yes! 就是这样没错，太好了!

I don't need an emotion machine!I am one! 我不需要什么情绪探测器!我自己就是!

Thanks, ladies! This was fun! 谢谢大家!今天很开心!

Let's not wait so long for another bizarre, awkward night. 很期待下一个尴尬奇幻之夜

Well, that was a waste of time. 简直就是浪费时间

I'm such an idiot. 我真傻

Don't beat yourself up. 不要自己打击自己

That's what I'm here for. 打击人的活让我来

Maybe I won't settle down. 可能我不会安定下来

Maybe I'll just play the field. 可能我可以拥有整片森林

Yeah, the field was just here. 你的森林里只有我

The field said no. 大森林不同意

Dude, come on. 拜托

Okay, I'll tell you what. 这样吧

I'll make you a deal. 我们来个约定

30 years from now, if you're still single and things don't work out with me and Bernadette...you and I can give it a go. 30年后，如果你还单着我跟伯纳黛特也分开了我们可以试试看

I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two, I'm swooping in on her like a vulture. 谢谢你的提议，但是如果你和她分开了我会猛虎捕食般立刻趁机追她

Too late. Stuart called dibs. 轮不到你，已经归斯图尔特了

But theoretically, if you and I were in a gay relationship,how would we tell people? 理论上说，如果我和你真的搞基了我们要怎么告诉大家?

Like, print up announcements? 打印通知吗?

I don't know. What difference does it make? 我不知道，有什么区别吗?

Well, I want to make sure we get invited to all the parades. 我想确保我们能被邀请去各种游行

Those do look fun. 确实看起来很好玩

Yeah. Well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top,you better lay off that dip. 如果你想穿渔网露脐上衣去游行你最好别蘸酱了

If you didn't want me to eat it, why'd you put it out?  It was for the girls. 你不想我吃那为什么要拿出来?那是给几个女生的

They broke up with meI don't care if they get fat. 她们跟我分手了，我不关心她们会不会变胖

I'm not gonna get fat. 我不会长胖的

Oh, you want to bet? You never exercise. 要打赌吗?你从来不运动

Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now.One...two... 好，看着，我现在就来运动，一...二...

These are crunches, by the way.Very mature. 顺便说一下，很脆，很成熟

Keep eating like that. 继续这样吃

You're gonna have a heart attack. 你会得心脏病的

Okay. How about if I eat like this?Mmm... 如果我这样吃呢?爽...

You're such a child. 你好幼稚

Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband? 你就这么跟你未来老公说话?

Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay? 我只是假设，好吗?

I would never marry you.  Please. 我不会跟你结婚的，少来

When you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt. 看到我挑的戒指后，你就会感动到融化的

Yeah, right.Wait, is it rose gold? 对啦对啦等一下，是玫瑰金的吗?

Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised. 算了，还是别告诉我，我想要惊喜

So, did you wind up sending that machine back? 所以，你最后把机器送回去了吗?

I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was. 是的，我甚至怀疑它的准确度

I took it to the train store... it said everyone was sad. 我带着它去了火车模型店...它说那里的人很不开心

I finally got Halley to sleep. 终于把哈雷哄睡了

You know, I just read a study that suggests new mothers are better at sensing emotions for up to two years.It's true. 我看到这样一个研究说初为人母的人前两年更擅长感知情绪，是真的

Pregnancy causes physiological changes in the brain that result in increased empathy. 怀孕会让大脑发生生理变化会增强共鸣心理

Oh, so all we need to do is get Sheldon knocked up. 那我们只要搞大谢尔登的肚子就好了

We can't. He was already fixed when I found him at the shelter. 不行了，在收容所找到他的时候已经绝育了

Hey, uh, Bernadette, let's test this theory. 斯图尔特我们来测试一下这个理论

What do you think I'm feeling right now? Let's see. 你觉得我现在什么心情?我想想

You're better than us, a little bit sorry for us,but mostly glad you don't have to be us. 你比我们优秀，为我们感到些许遗憾但更多是，你很高兴不是我们的同类

Keep filling this one with babies. She's good. 继续跟她生小孩，她太棒了