Google it. 不信去查。

Second, I married a cronut. 第二，我嫁给了一个甜甜圈。

What? 什么？

Last night, my friend Andy and I, we went to go get cronuts, and I said that they were so amazing, I wanted to marry one, so I posted it on facebook as a joke. 昨晚，我的朋友安迪和我一起去买甜甜圈，我说那些甜甜圈太好吃了，我真想嫁给它，所以我当笑话发到Facebook上的。

Then I accidentally left my phone in Andy's car, which he drove to a friend's wedding in Vegas, 后来我把手机落在安迪的车上了，他开车去赌城参加朋友的婚礼，

and that book is for my crazy boss because he's designing maternity clothes and he wants to get inside the mind of preggos! 那本书是给我的疯老板买的，他在设计孕妇装，想知道准妈妈们在想什么！

Thank god! 谢天谢地！

I'm so relieved! 真是松了一口气！

Wait a second. 等等。

How did you get onto my Facebook page? 你怎么能看到我的Facebook页面？

I unfriended you. 我没加你好友。

She's Brody Kendall. 那个布罗迪·肯德尔是她。

Oh, my god, gross! 天呐，真恶心！

I've been playing Candy Crush with my mother! 我居然一直在跟我妈玩糖果粉粹机！

How did you track my phone? 你是怎么追踪到我的手机的？

Well, I don't think that really matters, and there's a perfectly reasona-- 我觉得那并不怎么重要，而且我有充分的理由...

Oh, cut it out. I can see people walking behind you. 省省吧，我能看到你后面有人走过。

Okay, got to go. 好了，我挂了。