I know. There goes the candy. 对啊。糖果飞了。

And my booty call. 我的炮友也飞了。

He didn't even leave a note? Or a Razzle? 连张字条都没留吗？也没留包口香糖吗？

Forget the candy. 别想着糖了。

Are we not gonna talk about the fact that my ex-boyfriend left without so much as a peep? 我们不应该来谈谈我的前男友不见最后一面就溜走的事吗？

Great. Now I want Peeps. 这下好了。害我想吃棉花糖。

Hey, Max. Is today the day we're gonna get married? 麦克斯。今天有幸跟你结婚吗？

Sure, Amir. 'Cause my dream in life is to be detained for four hours on our honeymoon flight. 当然好啊，阿米尔。因为我这辈子的梦想就是在度蜜月的班机上被扣留四小时。

Max, you do know I was born in this country, right? 麦克斯，你知道我是在这国家土生土长的吧？

You were born here? How old are you? About zero dark thirty? 你在美国出生的啊？你几岁了？黑暗零点三十岁吗？

Yeah, you were born in a Walmart, right? 你妈是在沃尔玛生的你，对吧？

Where do you think the expression "Clean up on aisle 12" comes from? 不然你觉得人们常说的"打扫一下第12排地板"是怎么来的？

Hey, Caroline, you bummed you drove your boyfriend out of town? 卡洛琳，你还为你吓跑你男朋友的事情泄气吗？

For the record, I did not chase Andy away. We ended our relationship well. 我得声明，我才没把他吓跑路了呢。我们是和平分手的。

Right, that's why I helped him move out in the middle of the night. 是啊，所以我才要在大半夜帮忙他搬家。

Man, you messed that up. So self-involved. 你把人家玩坏了。你这人太自我了。

Coming in a little hot, Amir. 阿米尔，你炮火有点猛烈啊。

Yeah, guns ablazin'. If I was allowed to carry them. 中东人不能带武器，不然我嘴炮扫死你。

Oh, Amir. You're the bomb. 阿米尔，你太酷了。

Look at us. We're like Homeland, if it was a rom-com. 你瞧咱们。我们就像是浪漫喜剧版的《国土安全》。