美国国家公共电台 NPR I'm Converting: My First Ramadan（在线收听）

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

Muslims all over the world will celebrate Eid al-Fitr this Tuesday to mark the end of Ramadan. Families and friends will come together for prayer, for food and community. But for many people who have converted to Islam and are struggling to find their faith family, this family-focused holiday can be isolating. Our producers, Hiba Ahmad and Sophia Boyd, went to an iftar dinner last week where Muslims break fast during the holy month. And they spoke with some converts about what their first Ramadan was like.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: It sucked. Like, the first Eid, I showed up at the mosque, and everybody was already going home, and I was just there all by myself.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: I really didn't have anyone to, like, teach me things. So I was learning off classes on the Internet. I learned to pray off videos. It was a little bit of a learning curve.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #3: I've got one foot in the Muslim community and one foot in the American, non-Muslim community. Sometimes it can be lonely.

SIMON: Mounira Madison is trying to bridge that gap.

MOUNIRA MADISON: (Speaking Arabic) How are you?

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: Good.

MADISON: Good.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: Good to see you.

MADISON: You're coming to all our iftars.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: I know.

MADISON: That's awesome. I love it.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: I missed yesterday's.

SIMON: She's the program director at MakeSpace, a community center where Muslims can pray, gather and worship.

MADISON: Our idea is that you would meet each other in these two iftars, connect, build friendships, and then we would plan together how we could celebrate Eid.

SIMON: As program director, she organizes events to welcome people who are new to the area, the religion or both. It took her a while to feel comfortable talking about her new faith, and she didn't even tell her family at first. At the iftar, she and Kelly El-Yacoubi bond over their tentative transitions into Islam.

KELLY EL-YACOUBI: Yeah. Yeah.

MADISON: I also fasted in secret and hid things. And, like - you know how like most moms would get upset if their daughter wasn't wearing an abaya or a headscarf.

EL-YACOUBI: Yeah.

MADISON: Yeah.

EL-YACOUBI: Yeah.

MADISON: I totally would, like, wait, get in the car and then right before the masjid, I would, like, put it on.

EL-YACOUBI: Yeah, I did that when I was in high school. Like, my older sister...

SIMON: Madison grew up in the United Methodist Church in Chester, Va. And as a child, the church was the center of her world.

MADISON: I was always loved. I was always cared for. I was always - I had so many aunts and uncles and grandparents because of that church family, who I still love and still hold dear.

SIMON: She got older. She left the church and her faith behind. She worked as a professional musician, playing the flute in overseas orchestras, including in Jordan, where she lived for more than six years. She immersed herself in the culture there, but her time in Jordan was only part of the process toward converting. It wasn't the turning point. That came in 2015. She returned to the United States to be with her mother who had just been diagnosed with cancer.

MADISON: I was catapulted into this nine-month period of deep self-reflection and trying to understand my own identity. And that was the catalyst for my conversion - that period of introspection and reflection that was sparked by my move back to America. And I realized, oh, well, I think I'm Muslim, but let me test myself. Because Ramadan was just around the corner. I said, OK, Ramadan, it's a whole month of fasting from sun up to sun down. Let me see if I can do this, like one of the seemingly hardest things to do as a Muslim when you're not from the faith.

SIMON: It was even harder for Madison because her new faith was a secret. She didn't tell anyone she was fasting or talk publicly about her decision to convert. She practiced her faith privately, watching YouTube videos to learn how to pray.

MADISON: I would say that that Ramadan was a bit lonely, but there was a lot of calm in that solitude. A lot of people, they experience Ramadan, they experience their faith because they're surrounded by friends or family or culture. And I am so grateful. Although it was lonely sometimes, I really am very grateful for how my experience has unfolded, how my journey has unfolded because it's helped me grow closer to God, grow stronger in my faith and know that what I'm doing is literally because I believe in it.

SIMON: This Ramadan, she's making certain that others who are new to Islam have a place to go to explore their religion with late-night prayers and potluck suppers. And that's how she's going to celebrate Eid at the close of the holy month - with her faith family at MakeSpace, helping people find their place in the community.

MADISON: When I look back at my only three-year journey, it's come so full circle, and that I just have to say, like, (speaking Arabic), which is, like, something you say that's just like something is so good something, something is so great that, like, you can't even imagine it.

SIMON: Mounira Madison in Alexandria, Va.