英语PK台 第975期:向死而生，拥抱改变 BBC国家短篇小说奖《浅滩边缘》（在线收听）

1. He swings the fish from the water. It gasps, thrashes. Drums. He was sure he would catch fish. He left just a simple note: “Pick salad x.” A heat has come to the morning now, the kayak lilts. Weed floats. He thinks of her hair in water. The same darkened blond colour. The edge of the shoal. He retrieves a carrier bag and stores the fish. That’s lunch. The bay lay just a little north. It was a short paddle from the flat beach inland of him, with the caravans on the low fields above, but it felt private. 

他挥动鱼竿把鱼从水里拉了出来。这条鱼喘息着，猛烈地摆动着身体，用力挣扎着。他之前就确信他会钓到鱼。他只留下了一张简短的便签——“选x（爱的）沙拉。”此时，高温已经开始驱散清晨的凉爽，小艇轻快地在水面上漂浮着。水草在水面上浮动着，让他觉得在水里浮动着的是她的头发——同样的暗金色。他从浅滩边缘带来了一个手提袋，那条鱼放在了里面。这是他的午餐。海湾就在北面不远处。从海湾划小艇很快就可以抵达属于他的那片平坦的内陆海滩。海滩的低洼处停放着几辆大篷车，但给人一种很私密的感觉。

2. His father long ago had told him that they were the only ones who knew about the bay, and that was a good thing between them to believe. He was not a talker. But he couldn’t imagine sitting in the bay and not talking to his father. After the brief doubt, he relaxes. He has a sense, out here, of peace. Thinks: why do we stop doing the things we enjoy and the things we know are good for us? 

他的父亲很久以前曾告诉他，他们是唯一知道这处海湾的人，并且相信这一点对他们俩来说是有好处的。他并不健谈，可还是无法想象自己坐在那个海湾内，却不跟他父亲交谈的情形。短暂的迟疑后，他放松了心情。他感受到了那种平和的氛围。他想：“为什么我们要停下我们正在做的我们喜欢的事情？为什么我们要停下我们正在做的对我们有益的事情？”

3. He fades the kayak, lets it drift, wiggling his ankles, working his feet loose. The water beneath him is suddenly full somehow, with jellyfish. He wonders if they are a sign, of some increasing heat perhaps. Then the noise of music hits him. A child knee-high in the water, slapping at the waves. A mother changing inside a towel.

他放下了船桨，让小艇在水面上漂泊，同时扭动着脚踝，让双脚松弛。他身下的水中突然莫名其妙地挤满了水母。他很好奇这是不是某种迹象——或许是气温上升的迹象。此时，一阵嘈杂的音乐声袭来。一个孩子正站在膝盖深的水中，拍打着海浪。一位妈妈正在用浴巾裹着身体换衣服。

4. The ashes sit perfectly in the drinks holder by his legs. Laid out farther off, an adolescent girl. The sound of her radio travelling. A pile of bright things. The child has found a whip of kelp and slaps at the waves. It’s O.K., Dad, he says. We’ll come back later. We’ll come back when they’ve gone. 

放在他腿旁的饮品杯里装着骨灰。更远处是一位少女。她收音机里的声音随风飘来。那里还有一堆明亮的东西。那个孩子找到了一根海带，继续拍打着海浪。他说：“没事的，爸爸。我们一会儿就回去。等他们都走了，我们就回去。”

5. The first lightning strikes somewhere out past the horizon. At first he thinks it just a sudden glint. The thunder happens moments later, and he feels sick in his gut. He sees the rain as a thick dark band, moving in. Starts to paddle. Then there is a wire of electric brightness. Three. Four. A rumble that seems to echo off the surface of the water. He counts automatically, assesses the distance to land. Another throb of light. The wind picks up, cold air moving in front of the storm. One repeated word now. No, no, no. When it hits him there is a bright white light. 

第一道闪电击中了遥远的地平线外的某个地方。起初，他认为这只不过是一次突如其来的闪光。片刻后雷声响起，他感到肠胃有点儿不舒服。他看到硕大的雨滴倾泻而下，落到他的小艇上。他开始划桨。此时，空中又划过一道闪电。紧接着，是第三道、第四道。隆隆声似乎在水面上方回荡。他不假思索地计算着，评估着与陆地之间的距离。又是一道闪电划过天空。起风了，暴风雨伴随冷空气接踵而至。此时，一个声音一直重复着——“不，不，不”。一道明亮的白光落下，他被闪电击中了。

6. He wakes floating on his back, around him hailstones melt. They are scattered on the kayak. There is a hissing sound. The hailstones melting in the water. He stares around, trying to understand, a layer of ash on the surface of the water. He cannot move his arms. They are held out before him as if beseeching the sky. Dead fish lie around him in the water. Somehow he tips himself into the boat. Live, he’s thinking. Live. His fishing rod on fire upon the water as he slips off the world again, and passes out.

他醒来时，正趴在漂浮的小艇上，身体周围到处散落着融化了的冰雹。此时，响起了一阵嘶嘶声——落在水中的冰雹正在融化。他凝视着四周，试图搞清楚究竟发生了什么。但他看到的只是漂浮在水面上的一层骨灰。他无法移动他的手臂。他的两只手臂向前伸出，仿佛在祈求上苍。他周围的水面上到处漂着死鱼。不知怎的，他一头倒在了小艇上。活着，他在想，活着。他的鱼竿在水面上着起火来，与此时同，他再次失去知觉，昏了过去。

7. One eye is closed with salt. The sun had come out hard after the storm and evaporated the water, leaving the salt in a crust on his eye. When he opens the other, the light blinds him. It hurts to breathe because his whole body hurts. As if he has suffered a great fall. His mouth, too, is crusted with salt. He does not know where he is. When he grimaces, his lips split and bleed. What happened? He does not know how long he has been like this. Who he is. Then, the thump of a huge fin stirs him. He does not move. Cannot move. A few yards off, the fin rises again, a half-metre sail out of the water, a gun-grey body. He is frozen. This cannot be happening, he thinks. This is it, he thinks. This is it. 

他的一只眼睛被盐糊住了。暴风雨过后，海面上终于重见天日。太阳蒸发着海水，在他眼睛上留下了坚硬的盐壳。当他睁开另一只眼睛时，光线使他什么也看不见。他呼吸的时候感到很痛，因为他整个身体都在受到疼痛的折磨，就好像他是从很高的地方摔了下来。他的嘴上也结了坚硬的盐壳。他不知道自己在哪。甚至当他露出痛苦的表情时，他的嘴唇都会开裂并出血。发生了什么？他不清楚自己已经处于这种状态多久了。他甚至不知道自己是谁。此时，一个巨大鱼鳍的撞击声使他清醒了过来。他一动不动。他动不了。几码远的地方，那个巨大的鱼鳍再次从水下升起，好像一个半米高的风帆钻出了水面，下面就是它那枪灰色的身体。他似乎凝固了。他觉得这一切都不可能发生。他心想：“就这样了，就这样了”。

8. The gunwale stayed with him for hours. It was almost the size of the kayak in length. It stayed and bumped the boat for hours, and by doing so steered it; and it cannot be known whether it was deliberate, benevolent, that it did not steer the kayak farther out to sea.

他就这样靠在舷缘上好几个小时。那个有着巨大鱼鳍的几乎跟他的小艇一样长的东西，就这样跟随着并不停地撞击着他的小艇好几个小时，受到撞击的小艇就这样不停地转向，并顺着撞击的方向移动。不知道它是故意的，还是出于仁慈，小艇并没有被撞到距离大陆太远的海域。

7. One eye is closed with salt. The sun had come out hard after the storm and evaporated the water, leaving the salt in a crust on his eye. When he opens the other, the light blinds him. It hurts to breathe because his whole body hurts. As if he has suffered a great fall. His mouth, too, is crusted with salt. He does not know where he is. When he grimaces, his lips split and bleed. What happened? He does not know how long he has been like this. Who he is. Then, the thump of a huge fin stirs him. He does not move. Cannot move. A few yards off, the fin rises again, a half-metre sail out of the water, a gun-grey body. He is frozen. This cannot be happening, he thinks. This is it, he thinks. This is it. 

他的一只眼睛被盐糊住了。暴风雨过后，海面上终于重见天日。太阳蒸发着海水，在他眼睛上留下了坚硬的盐壳。当他睁开另一只眼睛时，光线使他什么也看不见。他呼吸的时候感到很痛，因为他整个身体都在受到疼痛的折磨，就好像他是从很高的地方摔了下来。他的嘴上也结了坚硬的盐壳。他不知道自己在哪。甚至当他露出痛苦的表情时，他的嘴唇都会开裂并出血。发生了什么？他不清楚自己已经处于这种状态多久了。他甚至不知道自己是谁。此时，一个巨大鱼鳍的撞击声使他清醒了过来。他一动不动。他动不了。几码远的地方，那个巨大的鱼鳍再次从水下升起，好像一个半米高的风帆钻出了水面，下面就是它那枪灰色的身体。他似乎凝固了。他觉得这一切都不可能发生。他心想：“就这样了，就这样了”。

8. The gunwale stayed with him for hours. It was almost the size of the kayak in length. It stayed and bumped the boat for hours, and by doing so steered it; and it cannot be known whether it was deliberate, benevolent, that it did not steer the kayak farther out to sea.

他就这样靠在舷缘上好几个小时。那个有着巨大鱼鳍的几乎跟他的小艇一样长的东西，就这样跟随着并不停地撞击着他的小艇好几个小时，受到撞击的小艇就这样不停地转向，并顺着撞击的方向移动。不知道它是故意的，还是出于仁慈，小艇并没有被撞到距离大陆太远的海域。

11. It was less easy to bear, having the land in view. He did not think, If I die you must find someone else; he could not think that. He felt a great responsibility. He wanted to make sure she knew how to reset the pilot light on the boiler. Pictured a coffee cup, never moved, the little liquid left growing into a ghost of dust. The note: “Pick salad x.” When it was beyond doubt that the land was nearing, he wept quietly. The tears went into his mouth. Trust the float now. You have to trust the float. 

看到陆地了，这一切却变得不那么容易去承受了。他并没想到：“如果我死了，你必须找个别人陪你度过余生。”他是不会这样想的。他有着很强的责任感。他想要确保她知道如何重新设置热水壶上的指示灯。他头脑中出现了一个咖啡杯，从未动过，里面的仅剩的一点儿咖啡变成了一团尘埃。还有那张便笺：“选x（爱的）沙拉。”当他的小艇确信无疑地正在靠近陆地时，他流下了安静的泪水。眼泪流进了他的嘴里。现在要相信小艇能够漂到岸边。你必须相信它能够漂到岸边。