国家地理 移植的脸如何改变了一名女子的生活(11)（在线收听）

That day Alesia was telling me about her extremely conservative Christian upbringing. Her church didn't allow drinking, and in middle age Alesia discovered she loves wine and a good cocktail. "Can you believe it?" she said. "I didn't have my first drink until I was 43!"

那天，阿莱西亚向我讲述了她极端保守的基督教教育。她所在的教堂不允许饮酒，在中年时，阿莱西亚发现自己喜欢葡萄酒和鸡尾酒。她说：“你能相信吗？直到43岁我才第一次喝酒！”

Katie perked up. "I had my first drink when I was 14," she said. This was news to Alesia and Robb, who laughed in the way of parents who figure, What can you do? "Oh, Katie," Alesia said fondly.

凯蒂活跃起来了，她说：“我第一次喝酒是在14岁的时候。”这对阿莱西亚和罗柏来说是个新闻，他们以父母的那种“你还能做什么”的方式大笑。阿莱西亚怜爱地说：“哦，凯蒂。”

One evening Alesia told me their situation still felt unreal. She had never worried about Katie getting into trouble. Katie was sensitive and had a melancholy streak, yes, but she also had a snarky sense of humor. The night before she shot herself, she'd jokingly refused to clean up after dinner, picking up a lamb puppet and saying in a cartoonish voice, "This is ba-a-a-a-a-d."

一天晚上，阿莱西亚告诉我，他们仍有不真实的感觉。她从不担心凯蒂会惹上麻烦，这个孩子很敏感，有一种忧郁的气质，但她也有一种尖刻的幽默感。在她开枪自杀的前一晚，她开玩笑地拒绝在晚饭后收拾东西，拿起一个羔羊木偶，用卡通化的声音说：“很糟糕。”

What clues had she missed? Alesia often descended into spirals of guilt and grief, feeling that she'd failed her daughter. She clung to one thing that Kathy Coffman, a clinic psychiatrist, had told her. The suicide attempt -- Alesia almost always called it "the accident" -- was an impulsive act. Five minutes later, or five minutes earlier, and Katie might not have grabbed the rifle.

她漏掉了什么线索？阿莱利亚常常陷入内疚和悲伤的漩涡中，觉得自己对不起女儿。她紧紧记住临床精神病学家凯西·科夫曼告诉她的一件事。自杀未遂--阿莱西亚几乎总是称其为“意外”是一种冲动行为。五分钟后，凯蒂可能都不会抓起来复枪。

"It was one moment," Alesia told me. "One moment, 20 seconds, changed our lives."

阿莱西亚说：“那是一瞬间，或许只有20秒，但却彻底改变了我们的生活。”