福克斯新闻 被爱人背叛如何重获信任（在线收听）

Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most painful experiences. If you're thinking of letting someone who betrayed you back into your life, counselor, David Essel says first you must forgive:

被爱人背叛是最痛苦的经历。如果你想让背叛过你的人重回你的生活，顾问David Essel表示，首先你必须原谅他们。

"If you don't do this you're going to mistrust them, you're going to look for problems when maybe there aren't any, the other big problem you run into is that if this relationship doesn't work out and you want to move on and you haven't forgiven them you're going to put the next person you date on the cross."

“如果你做不到的话，你就会不信任他们，即使他们没有任何问题，你也会到处挑毛病，你会遇到的另一个问题就是，如果这段关系走不下去，你想要继续前行，你没有原谅他们，你也会把新的恋人钉在十字架上。”

Step two is to own your role in the dysfunction of the relationship. The third step is to have the betrayer write you an apology letter:

第二步就是在这段出现问题的关系中发挥自己的作用。第三部是让背叛者给你写道歉信。

"So in other words if someone says I'm so sorry for cheating on you, I'm so sorry I stole money from you that's not enough. I want them to write down the specific things they did who they did them with and why. See, that means they're sincere about coming back in and earning back your trust."

“换句话说，如果有人说，我很抱歉欺骗了你，很抱歉偷了你的钱，这样是不够的。我想让他们写下他们做的具体的事情，谁和他们一起做的，为什么要这样做，这意味着他们是真诚地想回到你的身边，重新赢得你的信任。”

Fourth, Essel says if they stole something they must pay you back. If they don't do step three or four- let them go.

第四，Essel说，如果他们偷了你的东西，他们必须还回来。如果他们不做第三步或第四步，那就放手让他们走吧。

With FOX on Love, I'm Ashley Papa.

福克斯爱的专题。我是Ashley Papa。