人物：我妻子的出柜故事(2)（在线收听）

"I didn't care," says Chris, who was 20 when he met Deanna at a party in North Carolina.

“我不在乎，”克里斯说。当时他20岁，在北卡罗来纳的一个聚会上见到了蒂娜。

"I didn't feel threatened. I wanted her to be happy with who she was and not hide that or be ashamed."

“我没有感到威胁。我想让她对自己感到快乐，而不是隐藏或感到羞耻。”

At the time, Chris was a vacuum-cleaner sales-man by day and an aspiring rock singer by night, living in his parents' mobile home in Virginia.

当时，克里斯白天是一名吸尘器销售员，晚上则是一名有抱负的摇滚歌手，住在他父母位于弗吉尼亚州的活动房屋里。

Just out of a five-year relationship himself, he was ready for single life—until he and Deanna, a massage therapist, made an instant connection.

刚结束五年的恋爱，他就准备过单身生活，直到他和迪安娜，一位按摩大师治疗师，建立了即时的联系。

Chris soon moved into her North Carolina home, the couple wed, and they began coparenting Deanna's two children. Chris credits his wife for pushing him to audition for Idol.

克里斯很快搬进了她在北卡罗来纳州的家，这对夫妇结婚了，他们开始共同抚养蒂娜的两个孩子。克里斯把参加《美国偶像》试镜的机会归功于他的妻子。

Finishing fourth, he built a passionate fan base with his power-rock vocals, and his self-titled band took off. The meteoric rise, though, took a devastating toll on his marriage.

以第四名的成绩结束后，他凭借自己强有力的摇滚嗓音建立了一个充满激情的粉丝群，他的同名乐队也开始走红。然而，他的事业突飞猛进，给他的婚姻带来了毁灭性的打击。

Chris says he got swept up in a rock-star ego, and he admits "there's been infidelity." Says Deanna: "He was a different human being then. Like, I don't even know that guy."

克里斯说他沉浸在摇滚明星的自我中，他承认“有不忠行为”。迪安娜说：“那时他是一个不同的人。我甚至不认识那个人。”

Though Chris expressed deep remorse—"he wanted to fix it," Deanna says—she withdrew emotionally.

尽管克里斯表达了深深的懊悔——“他想要修复它，”迪安娜说——但她在感情上退缩了。

The turning point came, she says, when she finally tried to see things from her husband's perspective and sensed his own identity struggle.

她说，转折点来了，她终于试着从丈夫的角度看问题，感觉到他自己的身份斗争。

"I knew it didn't really have anything to do with me," she says. "It never does." Still, Deanna struggled with her self-esteem, complicated by her sexual identity.

她说：“我知道这真的与我无关。”“一直都与我无关。”尽管如此，迪安娜还是在为自己的自尊而挣扎，因为她的性别身份，事情更加复杂。

"He was drowning in the stuff he was dealing with," she says, "and I was drowning in the stuff I was dealing with. We both had to learn to save ourselves."

她说：“他沉浸在他正在处理的事情中，而我也沉浸在我正在处理的事情中。我们都必须学会自救。”

What each of them learned, she says, began the journey that led her to share the "As You Are" lyrics.

她说，他们每个人学到的东西，开启了她分享“做你自己”歌词的旅程。

By then Chris was committed to becoming a better partner, and in the past three years, Deanna says, their marriage has become one of "an open heart and growth."

那时，克里斯决心成为一个更好的伴侣，迪安娜说，在过去的三年里，他们的婚姻已经有了“一颗开放的心和成长”。

The spacious home they share with their younger children radiates health and caring, from the vegan-centric pantry to the meditation room off the foyer.

他们和年幼的孩子们住的宽敞的房子散发着健康和关爱的气息，从以素食主义者为中心的食品储藏室到门厅外的冥想室。

A master-bedroom painting declares "I Love Us." Deanna knows people may wonder why she's revealing her bisexuality when she and Chris have a monogamous commitment.

一幅主卧室的油画上写着“我爱我们”。迪安娜知道，人们可能会好奇，当她和克里斯承诺一夫一妻制时，她为什么要暴露自己的双性恋身份。

Her response: Openness is the only antidote to fear and shame. "There is nothing wrong with the fact that I have the capacity to love somebody regardless of their gender."

她的回答是：坦诚是消除恐惧和羞耻的唯一良药。“我有能力去不论性别地爱一个人，这并没有错。”

For his part, Chris is grateful that this song gives him a role in Deanna's coming-out story.

对于克里斯来说，他很感激这首歌让他在蒂娜的出柜故事中扮演了一个角色。

"I'm super-proud," he says, "that she feels strong enough to be so open and honest about it. We're both after the same goal, and that's being true to ourselves with each other."

“我非常自豪，”他说，“她觉得自己足够强大，可以对这件事如此坦诚。我们都在追求同样的目标，这就是对彼此忠实。”