时代周刊 瘾君子母亲的自白（在线收听）

I am a mother

我是一名母亲

BY KRISTINA BARBOZA

作者：克里斯蒂娜·巴尔博扎

BARBOZA, 52, not pictured, lives in East Wareham, Mass.

巴尔博扎，52岁，无图，住在马萨诸塞州的东韦勒姆。

Her 31-year-old son, Billy, far right, is pictured in Boston with other drug users on Jan. 14.

她31岁的儿子比利，极右派，图为他1月14日在波士顿与其他吸毒者的合影。

BILLY STARTED USING SUBSTANCES AT a young age.

比利很早就开始吸毒了。

He was probably around 12, 13 when he started dabbling in smoking pot, drinking alcohol.

他刚开始尝试吸大麻，喝酒时可能才十二三岁。

Then he started with opiates.

之后他就开始用起了阿片类药物。

As a parent, you don't learn about these things, a lot of times, until after they've happened.

作为父母，很多时候，你都是事情发生以后才知道。

He was in and out of treatments, in and out of jail.

也反反复复做过治疗，反反复复进过监狱。

He quit high school when he was about 16.

差不多16岁的时候他就从高中的学校退学了。

It really hasn't been until more recently that I've kind of come out in terms of talking about Billy.

直到最近，我才愿意谈他的事。

Because for so long, I did feel embarrassed.

因为一直以来，我的确感到很尴尬。

People would ask me, you know, "Oh, so how many kids do you have? What are they doing now in their lives?"

大家会问我，“哎，那你有几个孩子？他们都做什么工作的？”

And it was almost like, "Ugh."

我的反应都是，“呃。”

But more recently I'm like, "Yeah, I have two children. Yes, my son is addicted. Yes, currently he's homeless."

但最近，我的反应变成了，“嗯，我有两个孩子。嗯，我儿子是个瘾君子。嗯，他现在是个流浪汉。”

I try not to say that with shame.

回答他们的时候我尽量不露怯。

But it's very difficult.

但很困难。

I don't give up hope.

我不会放弃希望。

The fact that Billy's still breathing, the fact that he's still alive means there is hope.

比利还活着，他还活着，就意味着还有希望。

There are miracles that happen every day.

因为每天都有奇迹在发生。