时代周刊:“不好也没关系” 哺乳期妈妈需体谅(1)（在线收听）

When Mom needs to hear that it's O.K. not to be O.K.

当妈妈需要听到‘不好也没关系’

By Lori Fradkin

文/洛里·弗拉金

I had made it as far as the street corner when it occurred to me that I hadn't paid.

一直走到街角我才想起来，我忘了结账。

I'd said goodbye to my friends at the restaurant and walked out.

我跟朋友道过别，便直接走出了餐厅。

When I returned, embarrassed and apologetic, one friend mentioned that another had asked if I was O.K.

就在我带着尴尬和歉意回到餐厅后，一位朋友提到，另一位朋友刚刚问到我了，问我是否还好。

"Of course she's not O.K.," she had answered. "She has a 4-month-old."

“当然不好了，”她回答说。“她孩子才4个月大。”

That 4-month-old was the reason I had to get home.

那个4个月大的孩子就是我必须赶回家的原因。

I needed to pump–for the fourth or fifth time that day– and then I needed to go to bed as soon as I could, for however long I could,

我要赶回家挤奶——挤那天的第四次，还是第五次奶——挤完奶还要尽快上床补觉，能补一点儿是一点儿，

before attempting to look like a pulled-together professional for work the next morning.

第二天早上还要尽量装得像个精神饱满的专业人士去上班。

My husband and I had joked about how easy that week would be.

之前我和丈夫两人还开玩笑说，那一周该有多轻松。

Our older son was away with his grandparents, which meant we had just one kid to take care of.

我们的大儿子去他爷爷奶奶家了，也就是说，那周我们只有一个孩子要照顾。

Naturally, that was the week the baby had a sleep regression.

好巧不巧，那周小宝宝进入了睡眠倒退期。

Every night, I sat in the glider for hours at a time trying to nurse him back to sleep,

为了哄他继续睡觉，每天夜里我都要在吊椅里一坐就是好几个小时，

only to set his swaddled little body in the crib and have him start crying again.

结果，每次都是刚一把他那裹着被包的小身体放进婴儿床，他就又开始哭了。

I had been back at work for just over a month, trying to prove myself to a new boss.

由于我产后复工刚一个月出头，我正在很努力地向新老板证明我的价值。

I was pumping before going to the office,

去上班之前要挤奶，

interrupting my day multiple times to hook myself up to tubes and suctions, and then doing it again at night.

白天也要好几次停下手中的工作给自己连上导管和吸奶器，晚上还要重复同样的操作。

I was also trying to be an attentive mom to a toddler who loved his baby brother but had ordered me at least once to put him "back in your tummy."

我也有试着做一名细心的母亲，照顾爱小弟弟，却也不止一次地命令我把小弟弟“塞回你肚子里”的正在学走路的哥哥的需求。

Of cours, she is not o.k.

她当然不好了。

I knew I was exhausted, sometimes overwhelmed.

我很清楚我已经累得不行了，有时甚至都有些不知所措了。

Yet my friend's comment was revelatory.

然而，朋友的评论点醒了我。