Instead of prizing the "ideal" physique, Lisa Sandin finds beauty in something less than perfect. She believes she is more than her body — and more than her birth defect.
I believe in mystery.
I believe in family.
I believe in being who I am.
I believe in the power of failure.
And I believe normal life is extraordinary.
This I believe. I'm Jay Allison for This I Believe. Our essay this week comes from our collaboration with USA Weekend from their call-out to readers to submit statements of their core beliefs.
Lisa Sandin lives in Big Rabbits Michigan where she is raising her kids. And when she read about our project, she immediately began to write of her belief that started to develop the day she was born. Here's Lisa Sandin with her essay for This I Believe.
I believe I am not my body. Everyday we see images of perfect bodies we can never have. And we become convinced our bodies are who we are. Passing through puberty into adulthood and now into middle age. I've wasted a lot of time lamenting the size of my hips, the gray in my hair and the lines in my face. Finally as I approach my fifties, I believe my parents were right all along. I am not my body.
I was born in 1959 at the tail-end of the baby boom. Unfortunately, I arrived without all my body parts fully intact. My left arm is a short stub with a small hand and three fingers reminiscent of a thalidomide defect. To my good fortune, I had superb parents. They were fighters who struck "I can't" from my vocabulary and replace it with "I will find a way.". They believed the development of the mind, heart and soul determined who you are and who you will become. My body was not to be used as an excuse. Instead, it was a catalyst.
My body was not neglected though, it endured surgery. It was dragged to physical therapy and to swimming and finally to Yoga. But it was not the focus of my life. I was taught to respect my body but to remember it was only a vehicle that carried the important things, my brain and soul. Moreover, I was taught that the bodies come in all shapes, colors and sizes and that everyone was struggling in some way with their physical inadequacies. Infomercials have convinced me this must be true although through adolescence I found it difficult to believe the cheerleading squad had any self-doubts.
In my alternatively formed bodies, I have learned lessons about patience, determination, frustration and success. This body can't play the piano or climb rock walls. But it taught all the neighborhood kids to eat with their feet, a skill it learned in the children's hospital. Eventually I learned to tie shoes, crossed the stage to pick up a college diploma, backpacked through Europe and changed my baby's diapers. Some people think I am my body and treat me with prejudice or pity. Some are just curious. It took years but I have learned to ignore the stares and just smile back. My body has taught me to respect my fellow humans, even the thin able-bodied beautiful ones. I am my words, my ideas and my actions. I am filled with love, humor, ambition and intelligence. This I believe. I am your fellow human being and, like you, I am so much more than a body.
Lisa Sandin with her essay for This I Believe. In her spare time, Sandin teaches Yoga and meditation classes in her community. Our invitation to write for the series extends to everyone. Find out more, visit NPR.org for details and to see what more than 30,000 others have written. For This I Believe, I'm Jay Allison.
This I Believe is independently produced by Jay Allison, Dan Gediman, John Gregery and Vicky Merrick.
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Support for this I Believe comes from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
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