Unit 09
Lighten Up
These days, it seems that almost all of us have something to worry about.
People are frustrated and uptight about almost everything -- being five minutes late, having someone else show up five minutes late, being stuck in traffic, witnessing someone look at us wrong or say something wrong, paying bills, waiting in line, overcooking a meal, making an honest mistake -- you name it, we all become upset over it.
The root cause for being upset is our unwillingness to accept life as being different, in any way, from our expectations. Very simply, we want things to be a certain way but they are not a certain way.
Life is simply as it is. Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: "Our limited perspective, our hopes and fears become our measure of life, and when circumstances do not fit our ideas, they become our difficulties." We spend our lives wanting things, people and events to be just as we want them to be -- and when they are not, we fight and we suffer.
How do we reduce this suffering?
The first step in recovering from a bad mood is to admit that you have a problem. You have to want to change, to become more easygoing. You have to see that your own state of heart is largely of your own creation -- it is composed of the way you set up your life and the way you react to it.
The next step is to understand the link between your expectations and your frustration level. Whenever you expect something to be a certain way and it isn't, you are upset and you suffer. On the other hand, when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you are free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.
A good exercise is to try to approach a single day without expectations. Don't expect people to be friendly. When they're not, you won't be surprised or bothered. If they are, you will be delighted. Don't expect your day to be problem free. Instead, as problems come up, remind yourself, "Ah, another hurdle to overcome."
As you approach your day in this manner you will notice how beautiful life can be. Rather than fighting against life, you will be dancing with it. Pretty soon, with practice, you will lighten up your entire life. And when you lighten up, life is a lot more fun. |