I Have a 'Bone to Pick With You'

 

Now, the VOA Learning¹ English program Words and Their Stories.

On this show, we take a closer look at words and expressions in the English language. We explain where they come from and how and when to use them.

There are many times in life when we have disagreements or problems with other people. Maybe someone does something or says something that upsets us. But, it is best not to let these issues fester.

When a cut or wound festers, it becomes infected and painful. And, “fester” is also used to describe a problem that gets worse.

If you do not care for that medical image, you can also use the verb stew². When we stew over something, we think about it so much that it becomes a big problem for us. When we stew over something, we are upset or worried about. We do not talk about the problem bothering us. We stew over it until it becomes much bigger in our own minds.

If you stew over an unresolved problem, or let it fester, it can become a big issue. You might call it a bone of contention⁴.

This phrase comes from the 16th-century. Imagine, if you will, two dogs fighting over a bone. The “bone” is the contentious⁵ issue that two people fight over. “Contentious” describes something that is likely to cause people to argue or disagree. For example, the world of politics has far too many contentious issues to name. If I tried, we would be here all day!

Okay so, unresolved issues often only get worse. Talking about them can help. But how do you raise the issue? Well, you could say to the person, “I have something upsetting to discuss with you and it is something that you did and I need to resolve³ it.”

But that is quite long. Thankfully, we do have an expression that means the same thing but has fewer words and is more interesting.

Instead, you can simply say, “I have a bone to pick with you.”

As with “bone of contention,” this phrase also comes from dogs during the 16th century. This time the dogs are struggling to pick the meat off of a bone.

If you use this expression, the other person will understand that a) you have a problem on your mind that you want to talk about and b) they did something to cause that problem.

We use this expression with our friends and family. It is a little informal but we can also use it at work.

Now, let’s hear two friends use these expressions:

So, is Steve coming to the party tonight?

Probably.

Good.

Why? And why do you have that look on your face?

What look?

Your angry look.

If you must know -- I have a bone to pick with him.

Not again. What is it now?

Well, I’d rather talk to Steve about it first.

Look, you can take care of your bone of contention with Steve some other time. I don’t want you two yelling⁷ at each other at my party.

What makes you think we’re going to yell⁶?

Because the last the last time you had a bone to pick with him, it ended in a yelling match.

Oh, right. Well, this time it won’t come to that. I promise. We’ll talk in the kitchen. It’ll be more private.

No, not the kitchen! Take up your issue with him in the … garage. It’s more private and there are less things for you to break.

Agreed.

And that is the end of this Words and Their Stories! Until next time … I’m Anna Matteo.

Do you have something on your mind? Do you have a bone to pick with someone? Let us know in the Comments Section!

Words in This Story

fester – v. : to become painful and infected : to become worse as time passes

stew – v. : to be upset or worried

contention – n. something (such as a belief, opinion, or idea) that is argued or stated : anger and disagreement

informal – adj. having a friendly and relaxed quality

1 learning   

n.学问，学识，学习；动词learn的现在分词

参考例句：

• When you are learning to ride a bicycle,you often fall off.初学骑自行车时，常会从车上掉下来。
• Learning languages isn't just a matter of remembering words.学习语言不仅仅是记些单词的事。

2 stew   

n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑

参考例句：

• The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
• There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。

3 resolve   

vt.解决，解除；决定，决心

参考例句：

• It's up to him to resolve this problem.这个问题应由他来解决。
• This did not shake his resolve.这事并未动摇他的决心。

4 contention   

n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张

参考例句：

• The pay increase is the key point of contention. 加薪是争论的焦点。
• The real bone of contention,as you know,is money.你知道，争论的真正焦点是钱的问题。

5 contentious   

adj.好辩的，善争吵的

参考例句：

• She was really not of the contentious fighting sort.她委实不是好吵好闹的人。
• Since then they have tended to steer clear of contentious issues.从那时起，他们总想方设法避开有争议的问题。

6 yell   

vi./n.号叫，叫喊

参考例句：

• This gave them a chance to yell.这给了他们大声喊叫的机会。
• When his schoolmate made the last goal,the boy gave out with an untrammeled yell.那个男孩在他的同学踢进最后一球时不禁纵声欢呼。

7 yelling   

v.叫喊，号叫，叫着说( yell的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The coach stood on the sidelines yelling instructions to the players. 教练站在场外，大声指挥运动员。
• He let off steam by yelling at a clerk. 他对一个职员大喊大叫，借以发泄怒气。 来自《简明英汉词典》