North, South Korean Couples Deal with Cultural, Language Differences

 

A year ago, Kim Seo-yun gave some very important personal information to her South Korean love interest.

She had fled North Korea about 10 years earlier.

Kim provided¹ the information on her second date with Lee Jeong-sup.

Lee asked jokingly if she was a spy. He then told her there was nothing wrong with coming from North Korea.

Kim and Lee got married at a Seoul hotel in June. But Kim's family, still in North Korea, could not attend the wedding ceremony.

"In South Korea, my husband is my everything. I have no one else here. He told me that he would play the role of not only my husband but also my parents," Kim said.

Such marriages are becoming increasingly² common in South Korea.

More than 70% of the 33,000 North Koreans who have fled to South Korea are women.

There are no official numbers on how many North Koreans have married South Korean men. But a 2019 government-financed study looked at 3,000 North Koreans living in the South. The findings³ suggested that 43% of married women from North Korea had South Korean husbands. In 2011, that number was about 19%.

North Korean women often have difficulties adjusting to life in South Korea. They often face discrimination and loneliness.

Some said they married South Korean men to help them with their new lives.

"I feel like my marriage is letting me acclimate⁴ to this society more deeply without too much hard work," said Hwang Yoo-jung about her 2018 marriage to a South Korean man.

Many women who flee North Korea turn to matchmaking agencies⁵ – companies that help North Korean women meet South Korean men. Often run by North Koreans, the companies charge South Korean men around $2,500 for several blind dates in a year. Most women do not have to pay.

Around 20 to 30 matchmaking agencies operate in South Korea. In the mid-2000s, there were only two such businesses.

Kim Hae-rin heads a match-making agency⁶ in Seoul.

Kim said she feels happy to help people meet "because I also came here alone and know (the suffering) of other refugees⁷."

Some of the couples, however, have difficulties. They share a language and ethnicity, but they can often seem like foreigners to one another. They are, after all, attempting to bridge a 75-year-old division⁸ of the Korean Peninsula⁹.

Lee said he tries to use fewer English words while speaking with his wife. She sometimes confuses him by using North Korean expressions that he does not understand.

Hwang said that she feels "really, really happy" when her husband Seo Min-seok, takes her to a gathering¹⁰ of his friends and their wives. She says they often ask her questions about North Korea.

Seo said he does not usually ask Hwang about her past in North Korea.

Ahn Kyung-su is a researcher with a private group that studies health issues in the North. Ahn said some of the North Koreans that he has spoken to have told him that their South Korean husbands looked down on them and abused¹¹ them.

Kim Seo-yun said she misses her parents and younger sister in North Korea and hopes to reunite with them one day.

"Now, my husband is filling my heart. My mother-in-law treats me well. So does my sister-in-law. It's like having strong supporters in my life, and I'm happy now," Kim said.

I'm John Russell.

Words in This Story

date – n. an occasion¹² when two people who have or might have a romantic relationship do an activity together

role – n. the part that someone has in a family, society, or other group

adjust – v. to change in order to work or do better in a new situation

acclimate – v. to adjust or adapt to a new climate, place, or situation — usually + to

blind date – n. a date or social activity between two people who have not previously¹³ met before

couple – n. two people who are married or spend a lot of time together

confuse – v. to identify wrongly; to mix up

in-law – n. a relative by marriage

1 provided   

conj.假如，若是；adj.预备好的，由...供给的

参考例句：

• Provided it's fine we will have a pleasant holiday.如果天气良好，我们的假日将过得非常愉快。
• I will come provided that it's not raining tomorrow.如果明天不下雨，我就来。

2 increasingly   

adv.逐渐地，日益地，逐渐增加地

参考例句：

• Rivers are being increasingly made use of by man. 河流正在日益为人类所利用。
• I find it increasingly difficult to live within my income.我发现靠收入过日子越来越难了。

3 findings   

n.发现物( finding的名词复数 )；调查（或研究）的结果；（陪审团的）裁决

参考例句：

• It behoves us to study these findings carefully. 我们理应认真研究这些发现。
• Their findings have been widely disseminated . 他们的研究成果已经广为传播。

4 acclimate   

v.使服水土，使习惯于新环境

参考例句：

• I help them acclimate to living in the U.S.我帮助他们适应在美国的生活。
• How much time does she need to acclimate?她需要多少时间才能适应？

5 agencies   

n.代理( agency的名词复数 )；服务机构；（政府的）专门机构；代理（或经销）业务（或关系）

参考例句：

• There are many specialized agencies in the United Nations. 联合国有许多专门机构。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The project is funded by the World Bank and other multilateral agencies. 这项计划由世界银行和其他多国机构资助。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 agency   

n.经办；代理；代理处

参考例句：

• This disease is spread through the agency of insects.这种疾病是通过昆虫媒介传播的。
• He spoke in the person of Xinhua News Agency.他代表新华社讲话。

7 refugees   

n.避难者，难民( refugee的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The UN has begun making airdrops of food to refugees. 联合国已开始向难民空投食物。
• They claimed they were political refugees and not economic migrants. 他们宣称自己是政治难民，不是经济移民。

8 division   

n.区分，分开，除法，公司，部门，师(军队里)

参考例句：

• Have you learnt division?你学会除法了吗？
• The division commander ordered that we start the attack before dawn.师长令我们在拂晓前发起攻击。

9 peninsula   

n.半岛

参考例句：

• Dalian is in the south of the Liaodong Peninsula.大连位于辽东半岛南部。
• Korean peninsula lies to the west of Japan.朝鲜半岛在日本以西。

10 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

11 abused   

v.妄用( abuse的过去式和过去分词 )；虐待；辱骂

参考例句：

• All the children had been physically and emotionally abused. 所有这些儿童的身心都受到了摧残。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• This rule was brought into being because the old law was abused. 由于旧的法律遭到滥用，这条规则便应运而生。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 occasion   

n.场合，时机，机会，诱因，理由；vt.惹起，引起

参考例句：

• Her dress was too showy for such a formal occasion.在如此正式的场合，她的服装过分华丽了。
• Her tears were fought back on such an occasion.在这种场合下她忍住了眼泪。

13 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。