Relatives of a Famous Writer Offer New Social Rules in New Book

Relatives of a Famous Writer Offer New Social Rules in New Book

The famous American expert on manners, Emily Post, died in 1960. But two of Post's family members have updated her book of advice for the 21st century on the 100th anniversary of the first edition.

Etiquette¹ is a word describing the rules for acceptable behavior among members of a society. But different societies and cultures have different rules.

"I think mostly that it's really easy to paint etiquette and manners as tools for elitism², tools for secrecy³, tools for exclusion⁴," said Lizzie Post. She is Emily's great-great-granddaughter and co-writer of the latest Emily Post's Etiquette.

"But when we're using etiquette and manners as a tool for self-reflection and awareness⁵ of others, I think we're really going to have a chance to make the world a nicer place," she said.

Post published her first version of the etiquette book under a different name in 1922. The book has been changed over the years, but the 20th edition, which was released in October, is its biggest update.

The new book still has advice for setting dinner tables and dressing⁶ up for different events. There is also advice on how to give gifts and how to give extra money to food servers. But Post, and her cousin and co-writer, Daniel Post Senning, are interested in modern issues. They have included ideas from people who called in to their Awesome⁷ Etiquette podcast program.

Some of the issues have been made timely by the COVID-19 pandemic and the #MeToo movement, which reacted against sexual abuse. The book covers issues like handshakes, and seeking permission to hug or kiss on the cheek — actions that once were common.

There is also advice on how to handle failed marriages and separations.

"Avoid trying to push or suggest the right decision for a friend," the Posts write in the new book. "It's especially important to be careful what you say around children whose parents are separated or divorcing."

The book also deals with subjects that were not described in Emily Post's time, like mourning a miscarriage⁸.

You do not want to say things like "'Next time it'll happen,'" or "`This just wasn't your time,'" the book advises.

Emily Post grew up in Baltimore, Maryland and New York City. But through her travels, Emily learned more about the lives of those outside her social status.

The younger Posts also deal with the subject of privilege. In the book they write: "Privilege can be and sound like many different things, but...it mostly comes across as a lack of awareness that you have benefited in a way others may not have."

Modern-day manners on gender⁹ pronouns, like "he" and "she," are also discussed in the new book. Using the pronoun a person wants to be called is a way to show to support and respect, the book says.

"You might think someone's pronouns are easy enough to tell just by looking at them, but the reality is this isn't always the case," the Posts wrote.

In her books, Emily Post grew "more inclusive over the years," said the Lizzie, her great-great granddaughter. Emily Post's etiquette became based more on education than wealth, she said.

For that, Lizzie Post said, "I'm happy."

Words in This Story

manners — n. a right or good outcome that is given to some people but not to others

elitism — n. giving special treatment to people because they are rich or powerful

exclusion — n. to prevent someone from doing something or being party of a group

reflect — v. to think about it a deep way

miscarriage — n. a condition where a mother loses her unborn baby because of a problem with the pregnancy¹⁰

privilege — n. something that some people have that others do not

benefit — v. to receive a good result

gender — n. related to male or female sex

1 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

2 elitism   

n.精英论，优秀人士统治

参考例句：

• Many people believe that private education encourages elitism.许多人认为私立教育助长精英主义。
• We must avoid cultural elitism.我们必须避免文化精英主义。

3 secrecy   

n.秘密，保密，隐蔽

参考例句：

• All the researchers on the project are sworn to secrecy.该项目的所有研究人员都按要求起誓保守秘密。
• Complete secrecy surrounded the meeting.会议在绝对机密的环境中进行。

4 exclusion   

n.拒绝，排除，排斥，远足，远途旅行

参考例句：

• Don't revise a few topics to the exclusion of all others.不要修改少数论题以致排除所有其他的。
• He plays golf to the exclusion of all other sports.他专打高尔夫球，其他运动一概不参加。

5 awareness   

n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智

参考例句：

• There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。
• Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。

6 dressing   

n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料

参考例句：

• Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
• The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。

7 awesome   

adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的

参考例句：

• The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
• That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.

8 miscarriage   

n.失败，未达到预期的结果；流产

参考例句：

• The miscarriage of our plans was a great blow.计划的失败给我们以巨大的打击。
• Women who smoke are more to have a miscarriage.女性吸烟者更容易流产。

9 gender   

n.（生理上的）性，（名词、代词等的）性

参考例句：

• French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语，所有的名词都有性。
• Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。

10 pregnancy   

n.怀孕，怀孕期

参考例句：

• Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.怀孕早期常有恶心的现象。
• Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage.怀孕期吸烟会增加流产的危险。