VOA健康报道2024--Six Seconds of Daily Kissing May Help Relationship

From VOA Learning English, this is the Health & Lifestyle report.

After 13 years of marriage, Bethany Meola admits that she and her husband can get caught up in their busy lives. They are raising three children and they both have careers.

So, they make sure to take time every day for a six-second kiss.

The six-second kiss is a daily exercise suggested by couples therapists John and Julie Gottman. It is as simple as it sounds. They say taking time each day for a six-second kiss can help connect you physically¹ and emotionally with your partner.

"It's kind of a funny thing to put on the to-do list," Meola said. She first learned of the exercise while studying for a master's degree that centered on marriage and family.

It made a difference, Meola said. "It's long enough to kind of ground you and say, 'Here's this other person that I love, that I've committed to.'"

Why does six seconds matter?

Married in 1987, Julie and John Gottman co-founded the Gottman Institute to teach couples therapy. John Gottman also wrote The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and other books.

John Gottman told the Associated Press that six seconds is not just a number. It comes from studying more than 3,000 couples over 30 years. The Gottmans found that a six-second kiss is enough to help release oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a natural substance that is produced by the body. The substance is widely believed to help a mother connect with her newborn baby. The Gottmans say it also builds trust in a relationship by calming down the fear center of the brain. They also used research by neuro-economist Paul Zak. Zak suggests that a 20-second hug creates the same results.

"For the 20-second hug or the six-second kiss, it's one that really feels different. It feels like you've come home," John Gottman said.

Julie Gottman said a long kiss works best for couples who are committed to each other and who trust each other. Couples who are working through personal or marital² issues might not be ready for it.

How to start

But how do you start this type of exercise? Couples have to decide to take time out of their day to put their relationship first. One partner might open the discussion by saying they believe the exercise could bring them closer and it is worth a try.

The experts suggest creating a ritual. For example, set aside the same time every day when both are about to leave for work or just before bedtime.

Creating a ritual prevents a relationship from becoming one in which the only thing a couple does together is add things "to their very long list of tasks," John Gottman said. "We want to really nurture³ the romance."

Rituals also create a shared sense of purpose, Julie Gottman said. However, she reminds people to enjoy it. Do not think of it as something you are supposed to do.

And to the couples who say they cannot find the time? She is direct and honest.

"You really don't have six seconds?" "You know, we're not talking six hours here. We're talking six seconds," she said with a laugh.

Words in This Story

couple - n. two persons married, engaged, or otherwise romantically paired

therapist - n. an individual specializing in the therapeutic⁴ medical treatment of impairment, injury, disease, or disorder⁵

committed - adj. having made a pledge or commitment to someone (such as a romantic partner) or something (such as a cause)

ritual - n. an established form for a ceremony

task - n. a usually assigned piece of work often to be finished within a certain time

nurture - v. to further the development of

romance - n. a relationship between two people who are in love with each other

1 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

2 marital   

adj.婚姻的，夫妻的

参考例句：

• Her son had no marital problems.她的儿子没有婚姻问题。
• I regret getting involved with my daughter's marital problems;all its done is to bring trouble about my ears.我后悔干涉我女儿的婚姻问题, 现在我所做的一切将给我带来无穷的烦恼。

3 nurture   

n.养育，照顾，教育；滋养，营养品；vt.养育，给与营养物，教养，扶持

参考例句：

• The tree grows well in his nurture.在他的培育下这棵树长得很好。
• The two sisters had received very different nurture.这俩个姊妹接受过极不同的教育。

4 therapeutic   

adj.治疗的，起治疗作用的；对身心健康有益的

参考例句：

• Therapeutic measures were selected to fit the patient.选择治疗措施以适应病人的需要。
• When I was sad,music had a therapeutic effect.我悲伤的时候，音乐有治疗效力。

5 disorder   

n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调

参考例句：

• When returning back,he discovered the room to be in disorder.回家后，他发现屋子里乱七八糟。
• It contained a vast number of letters in great disorder.里面七零八落地装着许多信件。