美国婚礼所带来的重荷

American Weddings Create Stress

美国婚礼所带来的重荷

 

For days, the story of Jennifer Willbanks, the so-called "runaway¹ bride," has been big news in American newspapers and tabloids³. The young woman faked her own disappearance⁴, shortly before she was to be married, only to reappear several days later, tearful and contrite⁵.

 

Ms. Wilbanks' motivations are still unclear. But her saga⁶ has drawn⁷ attention to what many say are the extraordinary psychological and emotional stresses of getting married in America today.

 

VOA, Adam Phillips’ report.

 

Getting married is one of the few enduring rites⁸ of passage in American life. It's a ritual most choose willingly. For many women, it's also a ritual over which they exercise almost total control - from the style of their gown and veil to the color of the invitations to the matching manicures on the bridesmaids.

 

Laurie Sue Brockway is an interdenominational minister and the author of "Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss⁹." She says one problem with weddings these days is that "marriage American style" is a growing multi-billion dollar a year industry.

 

Laurie Sue Brockway: It used to be you would choose a priest, a rabbi, a house of worship, and you'd have your ceremony, have a party, and then you'd have dinner. And it would really be on a smaller scale. But nowadays, we've gotten into a way of celebrating weddings similar to the way royalty¹⁰ and the rich used to celebrate.

 

Reverend Brockway says that the sheer number of decisions a bride must make as she contemplates¹¹ her wedding day can create both confusion and stress.

 

Laurie Sue Brockway: Where? When? What time of year? Indoor? Outdoor? Who do we invite? Do we invite our friends from work? Do we just invite the family? Do we invite extended relatives? Where do we cut the guest list off? How many people does my mother get to invite?

 

Reverend Brockway notes that in addition to the external pressure facing both brides and grooms，there are powerful internal adjustments to be made

Many traditional cultures continue to view marriage primarily as a social or economic contract between bride and groom¹² and their families or clans，but not here.

 

Reverend Brockway: Most Americans tend to look at marriage as a love contract and their relationship is sacred to them. They have to be sure they safeguard their relationship when planning a wedding ceremony that empowers that and creates a foundation for that. I mean, it's not about the dress! It's about what is going to give the marriage the best start. The minute you lose sight of why you are doing this, the wedding becomes "entertainment' and you are really on the 'stress express' to the wedding altar.

Reverend Brockway recommends that brides seek out emotional support during the wedding preparation process - which can sometimes last a year or more. Here again, one has many options: There are numerous Internet chat rooms for brides, for example, or the bride-to-be can meet regularly with other brides in the community to talk informally about the challenge of getting married. Ms. Brockway and a colleague host a free weekly meeting in New York, where they discuss some of the tips in her new book.

 

Reverend Brockway: And the first thing I suggest to brides is to do some 'spring cleaning' for your heart and soul. Just sort of clear the decks, get rid of old relationship memorabilia and let go of things that may stand in the way of your having a happy marriage. And then you have to make sure you really take care of yourself. And really put things in your life that help you relax throughout the wedding experience. You should be taking time for yourself. Take a walk. Exercise. Take a bath. Address self-care. The runaway bride may not have taken time for herself and just sort of fell apart at the end.

 

Minister Laurie Sue Brockway adds that in addition to taking care of oneself during the wedding process, new spouses¹³ must also deepen their connection with each other - and in ways that reaffirm the unique personal adventure they begin together when they say 'I do.'

 

注释：

tabloid² [ 5tAblCid ] n. 小报

contrite [ 5kCntrait ] adj. 深感懊悔的

manicure [ 5mAnikjuE ] n. 修指甲

interdenominational [ 7intEdi7nCmi5neiFEnl ] adj. 派系间的

rabbi [5rAbai] n. 法师

memorabilia [ 7memErE5biliE ] n. 大事记

1 runaway   

n.逃走的人，逃亡，亡命者；adj.逃亡的，逃走的

参考例句：

• The police have not found the runaway to date.警察迄今没抓到逃犯。
• He was praised for bringing up the runaway horse.他勒住了脱缰之马受到了表扬。

2 tabloid   

adj.轰动性的，庸俗的；n.小报，文摘

参考例句：

• He launched into a verbal assault on tabloid journalism.他口头对小报新闻进行了抨击。
• He believes that the tabloid press has behaved disgracefully.他认为小报媒体的行为不太光彩。

3 tabloids   

n.小报，通俗小报（版面通常比大报小一半，文章短，图片多，经常报道名人佚事）( tabloid的名词复数 )；药片

参考例句：

• The story was on the front pages of all the tabloids. 所有小报都在头版报道了这件事。
• The story made the front page in all the tabloids. 这件事成了所有小报的头版新闻。

4 disappearance   

n.消失，消散，失踪

参考例句：

• He was hard put to it to explain her disappearance.他难以说明她为什么不见了。
• Her disappearance gave rise to the wildest rumours.她失踪一事引起了各种流言蜚语。

5 contrite   

adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的

参考例句：

• She was contrite the morning after her angry outburst.她发了一顿脾气之后一早上追悔莫及。
• She assumed a contrite expression.她装出一副后悔的表情。

6 saga   

n.(尤指中世纪北欧海盗的)故事，英雄传奇

参考例句：

• The saga of Flight 19 is probably the most repeated story about the Bermuda Triangle.飞行19中队的传说或许是有关百慕大三角最重复的故事。
• The novel depicts the saga of a family.小说描绘了一个家族的传奇故事。

7 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

8 rites   

仪式，典礼( rite的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• to administer the last rites to sb 给某人举行临终圣事
• He is interested in mystic rites and ceremonies. 他对神秘的仪式感兴趣。

9 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

10 royalty   

n.皇家，皇族

参考例句：

• She claims to be descended from royalty.她声称她是皇室后裔。
• I waited on tables，and even catered to royalty at the Royal Albert Hall.我做过服务生， 甚至在皇家阿伯特大厅侍奉过皇室的人。

11 contemplates   

深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想

参考例句：

• She contemplates leaving for the sake of the kids. 她考虑为了孩子而离开。
• Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them. 事物的美存在于细心观察它的人的头脑中。

12 groom   

vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁

参考例句：

• His father was a groom.他父亲曾是个马夫。
• George was already being groomed for the top job.为承担这份高级工作，乔治已在接受专门的培训。

13 spouses   

n.配偶，夫或妻( spouse的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Jobs are available for spouses on campus and in the community. 校园里和社区里有配偶可做的工作。 来自辞典例句
• An astonishing number of spouses-most particularly in the upper-income brackets-have no close notion of their husbands'paychecks. 相当大一部分妇女——特别在高收入阶层——并不很了解他们丈夫的薪金。 来自辞典例句