英语语法：176 He Said, She Said

Grammar Girl here.

Today’s topic is “How to Use Attributives”

Guest writer Sal Glynn writes:

Dialogue is hard to write and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Getting characters to have individual voices has caused more sleepless¹ nights than too much coffee late in the day. Once the dialogue sounds right and reads right on the page, there is the problem of attributives.

An attributive, also known as identifier or signifier, is the “he said, she said” that show the reader who is saying what. Writers who try to get around them will find themselves more confused than their anticipated readership.

Attributives and How to Avoid Them

Use the name of the speaker if it's not already established so the reader can get right into the scene. Attributives can be placed in the middle of a line of dialogue, as in:

“Nasty as the job may be,” said Henrik, “the goat needs a good scrubbing.”

Trust your ear in deciding where to insert. Never break into the dialogue with:

“Nasty as the job,” said Henrik, “may be, the goat needs a good scrubbing (1).”

For a short line of dialogue, attributives usually go at the end, like so:

“Help me find my leopard² skin pillbox hat,” said Daphne.

You can avoid attributives by using the name of the character being addressed, as in:

“Daphne, your leopard skin pillbox hat is on top of the refrigerator.”

“Go scrub a goat, Henrik.”

When two characters are speaking, attributives are only necessary for the characters' first appearances.

“That’s an attractive hammer,” he said.

“A family heirloom,” she said.

“I never would have guessed.”

“You don’t look like the guessing type.”

The reader will keep track of “he said” and “she said” after the preliminary exchange. Further attributives will slow down what promises to be an interesting conversation.

Creative Attributives

Simplicity³ is the rule in attributives. Many writers try to think for the reader by replacing “said” with words like grunted⁴, growled⁵, demanded, bellowed⁶, cooed, roared, squalled, and simpered. If the tone of the dialogue is not immediately apparent, rewrite the dialogue and not the attributive.

This goes double for adding adverbs like belligerently⁷, arrogantly⁸, haughtily⁹, angrily, coquettishly, happily, slavishly, and jokingly. Before using any of these or others, ask yourself how someone would sound if they spoke¹⁰ in that manner. When the answer comes back, “I don’t know,” rewrite the dialogue until you do.

Writing for Readers

Many writers rebel at the idea of “he said, she said.” They complain of the blandness¹¹ and they are right. “He said, she said,” is transparent¹² on purpose. The writer’s job is to put the dialogue into the mind of the reader (2). With too much information, readers have no room to make the story their own. As Kurt Vonnegut wrote in comparing films to novels, “There are tens of thousands of A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, since each reader has to cast, costume, direct, and design the show in his head (3).” The simple attributive makes for a livelier scene.

Now that you understand attributives, remember the quick and dirty rule is keep them simple and where they belong.

The Dog Walked Down the Street: An Outspoken¹³ Guide for Writers Who Want to Publish

Also, thanks again to this week's guest-writer Sal Glynn, author of The Dog Walked Down the Street: An Outspoken Guide for Writers Who Want to Publish, which won best writing /publishing book at last year's IPPY awards. Find out more about Sal at his blog, ...

That's all. Thanks for listening.

 

1 sleepless   

adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的

参考例句：

• The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
• One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。

2 leopard   

n.豹

参考例句：

• I saw a man in a leopard skin yesterday.我昨天看见一个穿着豹皮的男人。
• The leopard's skin is marked with black spots.豹皮上有黑色斑点。

3 simplicity   

n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯

参考例句：

• She dressed with elegant simplicity.她穿着朴素高雅。
• The beauty of this plan is its simplicity.简明扼要是这个计划的一大特点。

4 grunted   

（猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说

参考例句：

• She just grunted, not deigning to look up from the page. 她只咕哝了一声，继续看书，不屑抬起头来看一眼。
• She grunted some incomprehensible reply. 她咕噜着回答了些令人费解的话。

5 growled   

v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说

参考例句：

• \"They ought to be birched, \" growled the old man. 老人咆哮道：“他们应受到鞭打。” 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He growled out an answer. 他低声威胁着回答。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 bellowed   

v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的过去式和过去分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫

参考例句：

• They bellowed at her to stop. 他们吼叫着让她停下。
• He bellowed with pain when the tooth was pulled out. 当牙齿被拔掉时，他痛得大叫。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

7 belligerently   

参考例句：

• Cars zoomed helter-skelter, honking belligerently. 大街上来往车辆穿梭不停，喇叭声刺耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Harass, threaten, insult, or behave belligerently towards others. 向其它交战地折磨，威胁，侮辱，或表现。 来自互联网

8 arrogantly   

adv.傲慢地

参考例句：

• The consular porter strode arrogantly ahead with his light swinging. 领事馆的门房提着摇来晃去的灯，在前面大摇大摆地走着。
• It made his great nose protrude more arrogantly. 这就使得他的大鼻子更加傲慢地翘起来。

9 haughtily   

adv. 傲慢地, 高傲地

参考例句：

• She carries herself haughtily. 她举止傲慢。
• Haughtily, he stalked out onto the second floor where I was standing. 他傲然跨出电梯，走到二楼，我刚好站在那儿。

10 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

11 blandness   

n.温柔，爽快

参考例句：

• Blandness in the basic politics of the media became standard. 传播媒介在基本政治问题上通常采取温和的态度。 来自辞典例句
• Those people who predicted an exercise in bureaucratic blandness were confounded. 那些认为这一系列政治活动将会冠冕堂皇的走过场的人是糊涂和愚蠢的。 来自互联网

12 transparent   

adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的

参考例句：

• The water is so transparent that we can see the fishes swimming.水清澈透明，可以看到鱼儿游来游去。
• The window glass is transparent.窗玻璃是透明的。

13 outspoken   

adj.直言无讳的，坦率的，坦白无隐的

参考例句：

• He was outspoken in his criticism.他在批评中直言不讳。
• She is an outspoken critic of the school system in this city.她是这座城市里学校制度的坦率的批评者。