2-45

 

45.

I stopped sleeping.

I simply stopped. I was so disappointed, so profoundly dejected, that I just stayed up nightafter night, pacing, thinking. Wishing I had a TV.

But I was living on a military base now, in a cell-like room.

Then, mornings, on zero sleep, I’d try to fly an Apache.

Recipe for disaster.

I tried herbal remedies. They helped, a bit, I was able to get an hour or two of sleep, but theyleft me feeling brain-dead most mornings.

Then the Army informed me I’d be hitting the road—a series of maneuvers² and exercises.

Maybe just the thing, I thought. Snap me out of it.

Or it might be the last straw.

First they sent me to America. The southwest. I spent a week or so hovering³ over a bleak⁴ placecalled Gila Bend. Conditions were said to be similar to Afghanistan. I became more fluid with theApache, more lethal⁵ with its missiles. More at home in the dust. I blew up a lot of cacti⁶. I wish Icould say it wasn’t fun.

Next I went to Cornwall. A desolate⁷ place called Bodmin Moor⁸.

January 2012.

From blazing hot to bitter cold. The moors⁹ are always cold in January, but I arrived just as afierce winter storm was blowing in.

I was billeted with twenty other soldiers. We spent the first few days trying to acclimatize. Werose at five a.m., got the blood flowing with a run and a vomit¹⁰, then bundled into classrooms andlearned about the latest methods that bad actors had devised for snatching people. Many of thesemethods would be put to use against us over the next few days, as we tried to navigate¹¹ a longmarch across the frigid¹² moor. The exercise was called Escape and Evasion¹³, and it was one of thelast hurdles¹⁴ for flight crews and pilots before deployment¹⁵.

Trucks took us to an isolated¹⁶ spot, where we did some field lessons, learned some survivaltechniques. We caught a chicken, killed it, plucked it, ate it. Then it started to rain. We wereinstantly soaked. And exhausted¹⁷. Our superiors looked amused.

They grabbed me, and two others, loaded us onto a truck, drove us to a place even moreremote.

Out.

We squinted¹⁸ at the terrain¹⁹, the skies. Really? Here?

Colder, heavier rain started to come down. The instructors²⁰ shouted that we should imagine ourhelicopter had just crash-landed behind enemy lines, and our only hope of survival was to go byfoot from one end of the moor to the other, a distance of ten miles. We’d been given a metanarrative, which we now recalled: We were a Christian²¹ army, fighting a militia²² sympathetic toMuslims.

Our mission: Evade²³ the enemy, escape the forbidding terrain.

Go.

The truck roared away.

Wet, cold, we looked around, looked at each other. Well, this sucks.

We had a map, a compass, and each man had a bivvy bag, essentially²⁴ a body- lengthwaterproof sock, to sleep in. No food was allowed.

Which way?

This way?

OK.

Bodmin was desolate, allegedly uninhabited, but here and there in the distance we sawfarmhouses. Lighted windows, smoke curling from brick chimneys. How we longed to knock on adoor. In the good old days people would help out the soldiers on exercise, but now things weredifferent. Locals had been scolded many times by the Army; they knew not to open their doors tostrangers with bivvy bags.

One of the two men on my team was my mate Phil. I liked Phil, but I started to feel somethinglike unbounded love for the other man, because he told us he’d visited Bodmin Moor as a summerwalker and he knew where we were. More, he knew how to get us out.

He led, we followed like children, through the dark and into the next day.

At dawn we found a wood of fir trees. The temperature approached freezing, the rain fell evenharder. We said to hell with our solitary²⁵ bivvy bags, and curled up together, spooned actually,each trying to get into the middle, where it was warmer. Because I knew him, spooning Phil feltless awkward, and at the same time much more. But the same went for spooning the third man.

Sorry, that your hand? After a few hours of something vaguely²⁶ approximating sleep we peeledourselves apart and began the long march again.

The exercise required that we stop at several checkpoints. At each one we had to complete atask. We managed to hit every checkpoint, perform every task, and at the last checkpoint, a kind ofsafe house, we were told the exercise was over.

It was the middle of the night. Pitch-black. The directing staff appeared and announced: Welldone, guys! You made it.

I nearly passed out on my feet.

They loaded us onto a truck, told us we were headed back to the base. Suddenly a group ofmen in camo jackets and black balaclavas appeared. My first thought was Lord Mountbatten beingambushed by the IRA—I don’t know why. Entirely²⁷ different circumstance, but maybe somevestigial memory of terrorism, deep in my DNA²⁸.

There were explosions, gunshots, guys storming the truck and screaming at us to look down atthe ground. They wrapped blacked-out ski goggles²⁹ over our eyes, zip-tied our hands, dragged usoff.

We were pushed into what sounded like an underground bunker system. Damp, wet walls.

Echoey. We were taken from room to room. The bags over our heads were ripped off, then putback on. In some rooms we were treated well, in others we were treated like dirt. Emotions wentup and down. One minute we’d be offered a glass of water, the next we’d be shoved to our kneesand told to keep our hands above our heads. Thirty minutes. An hour. From one stress position toanother.

We hadn’t really slept in seventy-two hours.

Much of what they did to us was illegal under the rules of the Geneva Conventions, which wasthe goal.

At some point I was blindfolded³⁰, moved into a room, where I could sense that I wasn’t alone. Ihad a feeling it was Phil in there with me, but maybe it was the other guy. Or a guy from one ofthe other teams. I didn’t dare ask.

Now we could hear faint voices somewhere above or below, inside the building. Then astrange noise, like running water.

They were trying to confuse, disorient us.

I was terrifyingly cold. I’d never been so cold. Far worse than the North Pole. With the coldcame numbness³¹, drowsiness³². I snapped to attention when the door burst open and our captorsbarged in. They took off our blindfolds³³. I was right, Phil was there. Also the other guy. We wereordered to strip. They pointed¹ at our bodies, our flaccid cocks. They went on and on about howsmall. I wanted to say: You don’t know the half of what’s wrong with this appendage³⁴.

They interrogated³⁵ us. We gave them nothing.

They took us into separate rooms, interrogated us some more.

I was told to kneel. Two men walked in, screamed at me.

They left.

Atonal³⁶ music was piped in. A violin being scraped by an angry two-year-old.

What is that?

A voice answered: Silence!

I became convinced that the music wasn’t a recording³⁷, but an actual child, perhaps also beingheld prisoner. What in heaven’s name was that kid doing to that violin? More—what were theydoing to that kid?

The men returned. Now they had Phil. They’d gone through his social media, studied him, andthey began saying things about his family, his girlfriend, which scared him. It was astonishing howmuch they knew. How can perfect strangers know so much?

I smiled: Welcome to the party, pal³⁸.

I wasn’t taking this seriously enough. One of the men grabbed me, shoved me against a wall.

He wore a black balaclava. He pressed his forearm into my neck, spitting every word from hismouth. He pressed my shoulders against the concrete. He ordered me to stand three feet from thewall, arms above my head, all ten fingertips against the wall.

Stress position.

Two minutes.

Ten minutes.

My shoulders started to seize.

I couldn’t breathe.

A woman entered. She was wearing a shemagh over her face. She went on and on aboutsomething, I didn’t understand. I couldn’t keep up.

Then I realized. Mummy. She was talking about my mother.

Your mother was pregnant when she died, eh? With your sibling³⁹? A Muslim baby!

I fought to turn my head, to look at her. I said nothing but I screamed at her with my eyes. Youdoing this for my benefit now—or yours? Is this the exercise? Or you getting a cheap thrill?

She stormed out. One of the captors spat⁴⁰ in my face.

We heard the sound of gunshots.

And a helicopter.

We were dragged into a different room and someone called out, OK, that’s it. End exercise!

There was a debrief⁴¹, during which one of the instructors offered a half-arsed apology about thestuff to do with my mother.

Hard for us to find something about you that you’d be shocked we knew.

I didn’t answer.

We felt you needed to be tested.

I didn’t answer.

But that took it a bit too far.

Fair enough.

Later I learned that two other soldiers in the exercise had gone mad.

 

1 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

2 maneuvers   

n.策略，谋略，花招( maneuver的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He suspected at once that she had been spying upon his maneuvers. 他立刻猜想到，她已经侦察到他的行动。 来自辞典例句
• Maneuvers in Guizhou occupied the Reds for four months. 贵州境内的作战占了红军四个月的时间。 来自辞典例句

3 hovering   

鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫

参考例句：

• The helicopter was hovering about 100 metres above the pad. 直升机在离发射台一百米的上空盘旋。
• I'm hovering between the concert and the play tonight. 我犹豫不决今晚是听音乐会还是看戏。

4 bleak   

adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的

参考例句：

• They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
• The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。

5 lethal   

adj.致死的；毁灭性的

参考例句：

• A hammer can be a lethal weapon.铁锤可以是致命的武器。
• She took a lethal amount of poison and died.她服了致命剂量的毒药死了。

6 cacti   

n.（复）仙人掌

参考例句：

• There we could see nothing but cacti.那里除了仙人掌我们什么也看不到。
• Cacti can survive the lack of rainfall in the desert.仙人掌在降水稀少的沙漠中也能生存下去。

7 desolate   

adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂

参考例句：

• The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
• We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后，我们都觉得万分孤寂。

8 moor   

n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊

参考例句：

• I decided to moor near some tourist boats.我决定在一些观光船附近停泊。
• There were hundreds of the old huts on the moor.沼地上有成百上千的古老的石屋。

9 moors   

v.停泊，系泊（船只）( moor的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• the North York moors 北约克郡的漠泽
• They're shooting grouse up on the moors. 他们在荒野射猎松鸡。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 vomit   

v.呕吐，作呕；n.呕吐物，吐出物

参考例句：

• They gave her salty water to make her vomit.他们给她喝盐水好让她吐出来。
• She was stricken by pain and began to vomit.她感到一阵疼痛，开始呕吐起来。

11 navigate   

v.航行，飞行；导航，领航

参考例句：

• He was the first man to navigate the Atlantic by air.他是第一个飞越大西洋的人。
• Such boats can navigate on the Nile.这种船可以在尼罗河上航行。

12 frigid   

adj.寒冷的，凛冽的；冷淡的；拘禁的

参考例句：

• The water was too frigid to allow him to remain submerged for long.水冰冷彻骨，他在下面呆不了太长时间。
• She returned his smile with a frigid glance.对他的微笑她报以冷冷的一瞥。

13 evasion   

n.逃避，偷漏(税)

参考例句：

• The movie star is in prison for tax evasion.那位影星因为逃税而坐牢。
• The act was passed as a safeguard against tax evasion.这项法案旨在防止逃税行为。

14 hurdles   

n.障碍( hurdle的名词复数 )；跳栏；（供人或马跳跃的）栏架；跨栏赛

参考例句：

• In starting a new company, many hurdles must be crossed. 刚开办一个公司时，必须克服许多障碍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• There are several hurdles to be got over in this project. 在这项工程中有一些困难要克服。 来自辞典例句

15 deployment   

n. 部署,展开

参考例句：

• He has inquired out the deployment of the enemy troops. 他已查出敌军的兵力部署情况。
• Quality function deployment (QFD) is a widely used customer-driven quality, design and manufacturing management tool. 质量功能展开(quality function deployment,QFD)是一个广泛应用的顾客需求驱动的设计、制造和质量管理工具。

16 isolated   

adj.与世隔绝的

参考例句：

• His bad behaviour was just an isolated incident. 他的不良行为只是个别事件。
• Patients with the disease should be isolated. 这种病的患者应予以隔离。

17 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

18 squinted   

斜视( squint的过去式和过去分词 )； 眯着眼睛； 瞟； 从小孔或缝隙里看

参考例句：

• Pulling his rifle to his shoulder he squinted along the barrel. 他把枪顶肩，眯起眼睛瞄准。
• I squinted through the keyhole. 我从锁眼窥看。

19 terrain   

n.地面，地形，地图

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• He knows the terrain of this locality like the back of his hand.他对这一带的地形了如指掌。

20 instructors   

指导者，教师( instructor的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The instructors were slacking on the job. 教员们对工作松松垮垮。
• He was invited to sit on the rostrum as a representative of extramural instructors. 他以校外辅导员身份，被邀请到主席台上。

21 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

22 militia   

n.民兵，民兵组织

参考例句：

• First came the PLA men,then the people's militia.人民解放军走在前面，其次是民兵。
• There's a building guarded by the local militia at the corner of the street.街道拐角处有一幢由当地民兵团守卫的大楼。

23 evade   

vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避

参考例句：

• He tried to evade the embarrassing question.他企图回避这令人难堪的问题。
• You are in charge of the job.How could you evade the issue?你是负责人，你怎么能对这个问题不置可否？

24 essentially   

adv.本质上，实质上，基本上

参考例句：

• Really great men are essentially modest.真正的伟人大都很谦虚。
• She is an essentially selfish person.她本质上是个自私自利的人。

25 solitary   

adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士

参考例句：

• I am rather fond of a solitary stroll in the country.我颇喜欢在乡间独自徜徉。
• The castle rises in solitary splendour on the fringe of the desert.这座城堡巍然耸立在沙漠的边际，显得十分壮美。

26 vaguely   

adv.含糊地，暖昧地

参考例句：

• He had talked vaguely of going to work abroad.他含糊其词地说了到国外工作的事。
• He looked vaguely before him with unseeing eyes.他迷迷糊糊的望着前面，对一切都视而不见。

27 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

28 DNA   

(缩)deoxyribonucleic acid 脱氧核糖核酸

参考例句：

• DNA is stored in the nucleus of a cell.脱氧核糖核酸储存于细胞的细胞核里。
• Gene mutations are alterations in the DNA code.基因突变是指DNA密码的改变。

29 goggles   

n.护目镜

参考例句：

• Skiers wear goggles to protect their eyes from the sun.滑雪者都戴上护目镜使眼睛不受阳光伤害。
• My swimming goggles keep steaming up so I can't see.我的护目镜一直有水雾，所以我看不见。

30 blindfolded   

v.（尤指用布）挡住（某人）的视线( blindfold的过去式 )；蒙住（某人）的眼睛；使不理解；蒙骗

参考例句：

• The hostages were tied up and blindfolded. 人质被捆绑起来并蒙上了眼睛。
• They were each blindfolded with big red handkerchiefs. 他们每个人的眼睛都被一块红色大手巾蒙住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

31 numbness   

n.无感觉，麻木，惊呆

参考例句：

• She was fighting off the numbness of frostbite. 她在竭力摆脱冻僵的感觉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Sometimes they stay dead, causing' only numbness. 有时，它们没有任何反应，只会造成麻木。 来自时文部分

32 drowsiness   

n.睡意；嗜睡

参考例句：

• A feeling of drowsiness crept over him. 一种昏昏欲睡的感觉逐渐袭扰着他。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• This decision reached, he finally felt a placid drowsiness steal over him. 想到这，来了一点平安的睡意。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子

33 blindfolds   

n.蒙眼的绷带[布等]( blindfold的名词复数 )；障眼物，蒙蔽人的事物

参考例句：

• Why not just hand out blindfolds, Captain? 何不干脆给我们眼罩不就行了吗？ 来自电影对白
• Prejudice blindfolds the mind. 偏见使人无法正确理解事物。 来自互联网

34 appendage   

n.附加物

参考例句：

• After their work,the calculus was no longer an appendage and extension of Greek geometry.经过他们的工作，微积分不再是古希腊几何的附庸和延展。
• Macmillan must have loathed being judged as a mere appendage to domestic politics.麦克米伦肯定极不喜欢只被当成国内政治的附属品。

35 interrogated   

v.询问( interrogate的过去式和过去分词 )；审问；（在计算机或其他机器上）查询

参考例句：

• He was interrogated by the police for over 12 hours. 他被警察审问了12个多小时。
• Two suspects are now being interrogated in connection with the killing. 与杀人案有关的两名嫌疑犯正在接受审讯。 来自《简明英汉词典》

36 atonal   

adj.无调的

参考例句：

• The majority always turn an unfavorable attitude towards atonal composition.大多数人对无调性作品的态度往往是不能接受的。
• People did not accept atonal music at that time.那时，人们还不接受无调性音乐。

37 recording   

n.录音，记录

参考例句：

• How long will the recording of the song take?录下这首歌得花多少时间？
• I want to play you a recording of the rehearsal.我想给你放一下彩排的录像。

38 pal   

n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友

参考例句：

• He is a pal of mine.他是我的一个朋友。
• Listen,pal,I don't want you talking to my sister any more.听着，小子，我不让你再和我妹妹说话了。

39 sibling   

n.同胞手足(指兄、弟、姐或妹)

参考例句：

• Many of us hate living in the shadows of a more successful sibling.我们很多人都讨厌活在更为成功的手足的阴影下。
• Sibling ravalry has been common in this family.这个家里，兄弟姊妹之间的矛盾很平常。

40 spat   

n.口角，掌击；v.发出呼噜呼噜声

参考例句：

• Her parents always have spats.她的父母经常有些小的口角。
• There is only a spat between the brother and sister.那只是兄妹间的小吵小闹。

41 debrief   

v.向…询问情况，听取汇报

参考例句：

• The men have been debriefed by British and Saudi officials.英国和沙特阿拉伯的官员听取了他们的情况汇报。
• He went to Rio after the CIA had debriefed him.他向中央情报局汇报完任务执行情况后就去了里约热内卢。