向前一步:第233期 为平等而不懈努力(12)

 As Professor Williams explains, "These mommy wars are so bitter because both groups' identities are at stake because of another clash of social ideals: 威廉教授解释道：“这些母亲大战相当激烈，这两个群体的身份由于对社会理想的冲突而变得岌岌可危，那就是：

The ideal worker is defined as someone always available for work, and the 'good mother，is defined as always available to her children. 理想的工作者应该能为工作随时待命，而一个‘好妈妈’则应该总陪伴在孩子身边。

So ideal-worker women need to prove that, although they weren't always there, their children are fine, fine, fine. 所以理想的工作女性需要证明，自己不在孩子身边时他们也会很好。

Women who have rejected the ideal-worker norm and settled for a slower career (or no career) 拒绝像理想的工作女性的另外一部分女性会选择节奏更慢的事业（或干脆放弃事业），

need to prove that their compromise was necessary for the good of their families. 以证明自己的妥协都是为了家庭。

So you have each group of women judging the other, because neither group of women has been able to live up to inconsistent ideals. 所以这等于是在让两个群体的女人互相指责，因为她们都没法达到本来就矛盾的理想境界。”

Professor Williams is absolutely right. 威廉姆斯教授无疑是正确的。

One of the conflicts inherent in having choice is that we all make different ones. 拥有选择的权利虽然是好事，但带来的冲突就是我们每个人都会做出不同的选择。

There is always an opportunity cost, and I don't know any woman who feels comfortable with all her decisions. 机会成本总是会产生的，我还没见过一个能对自己所有决定都满意的女人。

As a result, we inadvertently hold that discomfort¹ against those who remind us of the path not taken. 所以，当有人让我们想起自己曾放弃的那些选择时，我们会不自觉地感到恼怒。

Guilt² and insecurity make us second-guess ourselves and, in turn, resent one another. 内疚和不安全感让我们用事后诸葛的眼光去批评自己，彼此怨恨。

In a letter to The Atlantic in June 2012, Barnard president Debora Spar wrote about this messy and complicated emotion, 2012年6月，巴纳德学院院长德波拉·斯帕在给《大西洋月刊》的一封信里谈到自己混乱复杂的情绪，

exploring why she and so many successful women feel so guilty. 探究为什么自己和许多成功的女性一样，会感到愧疚、自责。

She decided³ that it's because women "have been subtly striving all our lives to prove that we have picked up the torch that feminism provided. 她认为女性“总是倾其一生，变着法儿地证明：我们已经接过了女权主义者的火炬，

That we haven't failed the mothers and grandmothers who made our ambitions possible. 也没有辜负前人为了我们追求事业而进行的奋斗。

 

1 discomfort   

n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便

参考例句：

• One has to bear a little discomfort while travelling.旅行中总要忍受一点不便。
• She turned red with discomfort when the teacher spoke.老师讲话时她不好意思地红着脸。

2 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

3 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。