【英语语言学习】涅法沙

So...uh...I'm an Iranian-American Muslim female, like all of you. And I'm also a social justice comedian¹, something that I insist is an actual job.

To explain what that is, let me tell you how I got here. I've performed all over the country. And let me tell you, America is majestic², right? It's got breathtaking nature, waffle houses and diabetes³ as far as the eye can see. It is really something.

Now, the American population can be broken up into three main categories: there's mostly wonderful people, haters and Florida.

Besides Florida, the most troubling category here are the Haters. They are a minority, but they overcompensate by being extra loud. They have the Napoleon complex of demographics, and yes, some of the men do wear heels.

As a social justice comedian, it's my goal to convert these haters, because they hate a lot of things, which leads to negative outcomes, like racism⁴, violence and Ted⁵ Nugent. This is not an exhaustive list; I'm probably missing 3-7 items.

But the point is, we have to reckon with the haters. But there's variance⁶ within this group and it's not efficient to go after all of them, right? So what I've done is created a highly scientific Taxonomy of Haters. I basically took all of the haters, I put them in a petri dish, like a scientist, and this is what I found.

First off, we have the trolls. These are your garden-variety digital haters. They're the people who quit their jobs so they can post on YouTube videos all day long. There's also the drive-by haters. Now, these people will be at a stoplight, they'll wait for the light to turn green and when it does, they yell, "Go back to your own country!" Now back in the day, they would've actually gotten out of their cars and hated you to your face. But they just don't make them like they used to -- which is another sign of the decline in America.

The next category is the mission-oriented-bigot- whose-group-affiliation- gives-them-cover-for-hating hater. These guys like to hate via a seemingly nice organization, like a church or a nonprofit, and they oftentimes like to speak in an old-timey voice.

But the group I'm most interested in is the swing hater. The swing hater is sister to the swing voter -- they just can't decide! They're like ideological⁷ sluts who move from hating to not hating. And they do it because they don't have enough information. This is the group I like to target with social justice comedy. Why comedy? Because on a scale of comedy to brochure, the average American prefers comedy, as you can see from this graph.

Comedy is very popular. And by the way, this is a mathematically accurate graph, generated from fake numbers.

Now, the question is: Why does social justice comedy work? Because, first off, it makes you laugh. And when you're laughing, you enter into a state of openness. And in that moment of openness, a good social justice comedian can stick in a whole bunch of information, and if they're really skilled, a rectal exam.

Here are some ground rules for social justice comedy: first off, it's not partisan⁸. This isn't political comedy, this is about justice, and no one is against justice. Two, it's inviting⁹ and warm, it makes you feel like you're sitting inside of a burrito. Three, it's funny but sneaky, like you could be hearing an interesting treatise¹⁰ on income inequality, that's encased in a really sophisticated poop joke.

Here's how I see social justice comedy working. A few years ago, I rounded up a bunch of Muslim-American comedians¹¹ -- in a non-violent way --

And we went around the country to places like Alabama, Arizona, Tennessee, Georgia -- places where they love the Muzzies -- and we did stand-up shows. We called the tour "The Muslims Are Coming!"

We turned this into a movie, and then after the movie came out, a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars on an anti-Muslim poster campaign with the MTA -- that's the New York City subway system. Now, the posters were truly offensive, not to mentioned poorly designed -- I mean, if you're going to be bigoted¹², you might as well use a better font.

But we decided¹³, why not launch our own poster campaign that says nice things about Muslims, while promoting the movie. So myself and fellow comedian Dean Obeidallah decided to launch the fighting-bigotry¹⁴- with-delightful-posters campaign. We raised the money, worked with the MTA for over 5 months, got the posters approved, and two days after they were supposed to go up, the MTA decided to ban the posters, citing political content.

Let's take a look at a couple of those posters. Here's one. Facts about Muslims: Muslims invented the concept of a hospital. OK. Fact: Grown-up Muslims can do more push-ups than baby Muslims.

Fact: Muslims invented Justin Timberlake.

Let's take a look at another one. The ugly truth about Muslims: they have great frittata recipes.

Now clearly, frittatas are considered political by the MTA. Either that, or the mere¹⁵ mention of Muslims in a positive light was considered political -- but it isn't. It's about justice. So we decided to change our fighting-bigortry- with-delightful-posters campaign and turn it into the fighting-bigotry- with-a-delightful-lawsuit campaign.

So basically, what I'm saying is a couple of dirt-bag comedians took on a major New York City agency and the comedians won.

Thank you. Victory was a very weird¹⁶ feeling. I was like, "Is this what blonde girls feel like all the time? 'Cause this is amazing!"

Here's another example. I'm asked everywhere I go: "Why don't Muslims denounce terrorism?" We do. But OK, I'll take the bait. So I decided to launch thedailydenouncer.com. It's a website that denounces terrorism every day of the week, while taking the weekends off. Let's take a look at an example. They generally appear as single-panel cartoons, "I denounce terrorism! I also denounce people who never fill the paper tray!" The point of the website is that it denounces terrorism while recognizing that it's ridiculous that we have to constantly denounce terrorism.

But if bigotry isn't your thing, social justice comedy is useful for all sorts of issues. For example, myself and fellow comedian Lee Camp went to the Cayman Islands to investigate offshore¹⁷ banking¹⁸. Now, the United States loses something like 300 billion dollars a year in these offshore tax havens¹⁹. Not to brag²⁰, but at the end of every month, I have something like 5-15 dollars in disposable income. So we walked into these banks in the Cayman Islands and asked if we could open up a bank account with eight dollars and 27 cents.

The bank managers would indulge us for 30-45 seconds before calling security. Security would come out, brandish²¹ their weapons, and then we would squeal²² with fear and run away, because -- and this is the last rule of social justice comedy -- sometimes it makes you want to take a dump in your pants.

Most of my work is meant to be fun. It's meant to generate a connection and laughter. But yes, sometimes I get run off the grounds by security. Sometimes I get mean tweets and hate mail. Sometimes I get voice mails saying that if I continue telling my jokes, they'll kill me and they'll kill my family. And those death threats are definitely not funny.

But despite the occasional danger, I still think that social justice comedy is one of our best weapons. I mean, we've tried a lot of approaches to social justice, like war and competitive ice dancing. But still, a lot of things are still kind of awful. So I think it's time we try and tell a really good poop joke.

Thank you.

1 comedian   

n.喜剧演员；滑稽演员

参考例句：

• The comedian tickled the crowd with his jokes.喜剧演员的笑话把人们逗乐了。
• The comedian enjoyed great popularity during the 30's.那位喜剧演员在三十年代非常走红。

2 majestic   

adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的

参考例句：

• In the distance rose the majestic Alps.远处耸立着雄伟的阿尔卑斯山。
• He looks majestic in uniform.他穿上军装显得很威风。

3 diabetes   

n.糖尿病

参考例句：

• In case of diabetes, physicians advise against the use of sugar.对于糖尿病患者，医生告诫他们不要吃糖。
• Diabetes is caused by a fault in the insulin production of the body.糖尿病是由体內胰岛素分泌失调引起的。

4 racism   

n.民族主义；种族歧视(意识)

参考例句：

• He said that racism is endemic in this country.他说种族主义在该国很普遍。
• Racism causes political instability and violence.种族主义道致政治动荡和暴力事件。

5 ted   

vt.翻晒，撒，撒开

参考例句：

• The invaders gut ted the village.侵略者把村中财物洗劫一空。
• She often teds the corn when it's sunny.天好的时候她就翻晒玉米。

6 variance   

n.矛盾，不同

参考例句：

• The question of woman suffrage sets them at variance. 妇女参政的问题使他们发生争执。
• It is unnatural for brothers to be at variance. 兄弟之间不睦是不近人情的。

7 ideological   

a.意识形态的

参考例句：

• He always tries to link his study with his ideological problems. 他总是把学习和自己的思想问题联系起来。
• He helped me enormously with advice on how to do ideological work. 他告诉我怎样做思想工作，对我有很大帮助。

8 partisan   

adj.党派性的；游击队的；n.游击队员；党徒

参考例句：

• In their anger they forget all the partisan quarrels.愤怒之中，他们忘掉一切党派之争。
• The numerous newly created partisan detachments began working slowly towards that region.许多新建的游击队都开始慢慢地向那里移动。

9 inviting   

adj.诱人的，引人注目的

参考例句：

• An inviting smell of coffee wafted into the room.一股诱人的咖啡香味飘进了房间。
• The kitchen smelled warm and inviting and blessedly familiar.这间厨房的味道温暖诱人，使人感到亲切温馨。

10 treatise   

n.专著；(专题)论文

参考例句：

• The doctor wrote a treatise on alcoholism.那位医生写了一篇关于酗酒问题的论文。
• This is not a treatise on statistical theory.这不是一篇有关统计理论的论文。

11 comedians   

n.喜剧演员，丑角( comedian的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The voice was rich, lordly, Harvardish, like all the boring radio comedians'imitations. 声音浑厚、威严，俨然是哈佛出身的气派，就跟无线电里所有的滑稽演员叫人已经听腻的模仿完全一样。 来自辞典例句
• He distracted them by joking and imitating movie and radio comedians. 他用开玩笑的方法或者模仿电影及广播中的滑稽演员来对付他们。 来自辞典例句

12 bigoted   

adj.固执己见的，心胸狭窄的

参考例句：

• He is so bigoted that it is impossible to argue with him.他固执得不可理喻。
• I'll concede you are not as bigoted as some.我承认你不象有些人那么顽固。

13 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

14 bigotry   

n.偏见，偏执，持偏见的行为[态度]等

参考例句：

• She tried to dissociate herself from the bigotry in her past.她力图使自己摆脱她以前的偏见。
• At least we can proceed in this matter without bigotry.目前这件事咱们至少可以毫无偏见地进行下去。

15 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

16 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

17 offshore   

adj.海面的，吹向海面的；adv.向海面

参考例句：

• A big program of oil exploration has begun offshore.一个大规模的石油勘探计划正在近海展开。
• A gentle current carried them slowly offshore.和缓的潮流慢慢地把他们带离了海岸。

18 banking   

n.银行业，银行学，金融业

参考例句：

• John is launching his son on a career in banking.约翰打算让儿子在银行界谋一个新职位。
• He possesses an extensive knowledge of banking.他具有广博的银行业务知识。

19 havens   

n.港口，安全地方( haven的名词复数 )v.港口，安全地方( haven的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Your twenty havens would back out at the last minute anyhow. 你那二十个避难所到了最后一分钟也要不认帐。 来自辞典例句
• Using offshore havens to avoid taxes and investor protections. 使用海面的港口避免税和投资者保护。 来自互联网

20 brag   

v./n.吹牛，自夸；adj.第一流的

参考例句：

• He made brag of his skill.他夸耀自己技术高明。
• His wealth is his brag.他夸张他的财富。

21 brandish   

v.挥舞，挥动；n.挥动，挥舞

参考例句：

• She answered with a brandish of her umbrella.她挥动着伞回答。
• Come on together! Brandish the florid youth together!一起舞动绚丽的青春吧！

22 squeal   

v.发出长而尖的声音；n.长而尖的声音

参考例句：

• The children gave a squeal of fright.孩子们发出惊吓的尖叫声。
• There was a squeal of brakes as the car suddenly stopped.小汽车突然停下来时，车闸发出尖叫声。