生活小贴士：教你消消气

 　　Scream at the boss? Snap at a colleague? Throw your cell phone into your computer monitor?

　　In most cases anger isn't an illness but a normal human emotion that causes problems when it flares¹ too hot, too often. People can learn to manage their anger with practical skills.

　　Psychologists believe that individual talk therapy is the most effective for anger problems. Anger doesn't occur by itself. It's nested and embedded² with a lot of other emotions -- sadness, grief, shame. Angry people want to talk, given the opportunity.

　　Tips to Help Keep A Temper in Check-Calculate what your anger is costing you.

　　Many people with anger problems think anger gives them an edge, and establishes superiority. Instead, you just look like an idiot.

　　-Be aware of how you talk to yourself.

If you keep saying how awful this is and making yourself feel alike a victim, you will get more angry.

　　-If you feel a blowup coming on, give yourself a time-out before acting³ on it.

　　Wait 15 minutes before you say something, or an hour before you send an email. Keep your options open. If it's not going to be important in an hour, then let it go. It's not worth getting angry about.

　　-Keep an "anger log" to monitor what makes you angry.

　　Learn to identify and avoid your triggers.

　　-Don't ruminate⁵ on past affronts⁷ or injustices⁸.

　　-Get physical, without fists.

　　When your primitive⁹ brain senses a threat, it sets off the "fight or flight" cascade¹⁰ of hormones¹¹. Opt⁴ for flight instead of fight and burn off the extra adrenaline and cortisol with exercise. Even a brisk walk will help calm you down.

　　-Reframe the situation.

　　Instead of seeing every inconvenience or frustration¹² as a personal affront⁶, imagine a benign¹³ explanation.

　　-Find a constructive¹⁴ solution to the issue at hand.

　　Ask yourself: What do I need to be okay right now? That shifts the focus from how the other person needs to be punished to how I need to respond in a healthy way.

 

1 flares   

n.喇叭裤v.（使）闪耀( flare的第三人称单数 )；（使）（船舷）外倾；（使）鼻孔张大；（使）（衣裙、酒杯等）呈喇叭形展开

参考例句：

• The side of a ship flares from the keel to the deck. 船舷从龙骨向甲板外倾。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He's got a fiery temper and flares up at the slightest provocation. 他是火爆性子，一点就着。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

2 embedded   

a.扎牢的

参考例句：

• an operation to remove glass that was embedded in his leg 取出扎入他腿部玻璃的手术
• He has embedded his name in the minds of millions of people. 他的名字铭刻在数百万人民心中。

3 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

4 opt   

vi.选择，决定做某事

参考例句：

• They opt for more holiday instead of more pay.他们选择了延长假期而不是增加工资。
• Will individual schools be given the right to opt out of the local school authority?各个学校可能有权选择退出地方教育局吗？

5 ruminate   

v.反刍；沉思

参考例句：

• It is worth while to ruminate over his remarks.他的话值得玩味。
• The cow began to ruminate after eating up grass.牛吃完草后开始反刍。

6 affront   

n./v.侮辱，触怒

参考例句：

• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。
• This remark caused affront to many people.这句话得罪了不少人。

7 affronts   

n.（当众）侮辱，（故意）冒犯( affront的名词复数 )v.勇敢地面对( affront的第三人称单数 )；相遇

参考例句：

• How can you stomach their affronts ? 你怎么能够忍受他们的侮辱？ 来自辞典例句
• It was true, acknowledgment in most cases of affronts was counted reparation sufficient. 的确，大部分的无理举动，只要认罪就时以算做足够的赔偿了。 来自辞典例句

8 injustices   

不公平( injustice的名词复数 )； 非正义； 待…不公正； 冤枉

参考例句：

• One who committed many injustices is doomed to failure. 多行不义必自毙。
• He felt confident that his injustices would be righted. 他相信他的冤屈会受到昭雪的。

9 primitive   

adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物

参考例句：

• It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
• His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。

10 cascade   

n.小瀑布，喷流；层叠；vi.成瀑布落下

参考例句：

• She watched the magnificent waterfall cascade down the mountainside.她看着壮观的瀑布从山坡上倾泻而下。
• Her hair fell over her shoulders in a cascade of curls.她的卷发像瀑布一样垂在肩上。

11 hormones   

n. 荷尔蒙，激素 名词hormone的复数形式

参考例句：

• This hormone interacts closely with other hormones in the body. 这种荷尔蒙与体內其他荷尔蒙紧密地相互作用。
• The adrenals produce a large per cent of a man's sex hormones. 肾上腺分泌人体的大部分性激素。

12 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

13 benign   

adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的

参考例句：

• The benign weather brought North America a bumper crop.温和的气候给北美带来大丰收。
• Martha is a benign old lady.玛莎是个仁慈的老妇人。

14 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。