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  • Saving It

    A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. My son, you shouldn't be doing that, said the priest. You should be saving that for when you get married. The embarrassed boy hung his head down l...

  • It Hurts

    Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts....

  • Kicking Habit

    There was a little boy who lived on a farm. One morning when he got up from bed his mother told him he needed to start doing his chores around the farm. The little boy said he would take over the chores for his dad. So he went to the barn and milked...

  • Names On The Wall

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names ...and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring a...

  • Papa Fell

    The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. Papa fell in the well last week - he began. Good heavens, shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. Is he all right...

  • Christmas Present

    Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells yo...

  • Sleeping Pills

    Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. 鲍勃晚上经常失眠。于是他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 Sunday night Bob took the pill...

  • Great Event 林肯过生日

    Great Event Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday. 林肯过生日 老师:1809年发生了什么...

  • The First Day as a Taxi Driver

    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. 乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀...

  • Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, Danger! Beware of dog! posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. Is that the dog folks are supposed t...

  • Very Pleased to Meet You

    During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, I...

  • Five Months Older

    The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But Johns brother had joined the ar...

  • 时间对猪的意义

    One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lift...

  • Everything Included

    Ann stared work last summer, so she didn't have a holiday, She saved as much as she could and, inJanuary, she booked a package trip to Ross, in Spain. She left London airport early on the morningof the first Saturday in August. She was very excited,...

  • English Riddles

    Work hard on the following problems to see if you can answer them in new ways! 1. What is the difference between here and there? 2. What are the strongest days of the week? 3. Why did man put wheels on his rocking chair? 4. Why is the letter R like C...

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