Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name was Bill. George said, have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill? Bill said, Yes, I have, and he gave them to him. Then George said, Now I ha...
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem. Do you think I should send her a bill? the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him. Why not? the lawyer replied. You rendered...
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you? Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window. Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise? Husband: I....
The portly sales manager was getting ready to leave his doctor's office after a routine examination. Here, said the doctor, follow this diet, and I want to see three-fourths of you back here for a check-up in three months. 臃肿的销售经理做过常...
A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. I pray to...
Coincidence A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer. What a terrible voice! he said. Do you know who she is? Yes, was the answer. She is my wife. Oh, I beg your pardon. The man said, Of course her...
Churchill and Bernard Shaw Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was tall and lean. Both of them were humorists. When they met at a reception...
Who Are Crooks? A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction: HALF THE CITY COUNCIL AREN'T CROOKS. 谁是骗子？ 一次，一份报纸...
Be Much Worse Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 可能更糟 警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么...
Impudent Questions A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders. The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming...
Alexander the Great Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation，and the doctor，somewhat nettled，said：Landon，you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject．You seem to lack ambition．Why，at your age Alexander th...
Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of the one that got away. But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how bes...
A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not fe...
To Give Up the Seat Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Well, you've done the right thing, says Mommy But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap. 让座 小约翰告诉妈妈：早...
Limerick There was a young lady of Niger， Who smiled as she rode on a tiger． They returned from the ride With the lady inside And the smile on the face of the tiger 打油诗 有个尼日尔小姑娘， 笑咪咪骑在虎背上。 他们兜风回返...
