8 things to master before you’re 30

 8 things to master before you’re 30

Before you get all huffy and emasculated (“Why is a girl giving advice on a men’s Web site? On how to be a man?! WAH! WAH!”), let me give you a behind-the-scenes look on how this list was concocted¹: eleven guys, three girls, ranging in age from twenty-two to fifty-one, all consuming cold beverages² on a Sunday afternoon. Each point was discussed, dissected³, nodded at proudly, and amended⁵ with stories—including one of a man-boy shitting the couch. But that tale is for another article. So go ahead, call me sexist for being a kind, blonde soul and doling⁶ out some advice. Or just jerk off to a picture of the chicks’ shiny tits in the sidebar, release some pent-up rage, and hear me out. The most popular points of what to know before you’ve reached the big 3-0.

8 At least one amazing meal

Let’s start with a sad fact: That metabolism⁷ is going to catch up with you. We know twelve dollars worth of Taco Bell and Angus Burgers are am-azing. You have to kind of start caring about what you eat and not depending on fast food for every meal. Next point: Wining and dining is not a myth. Getting that special friend revved⁸ up for play starts with some good eats. Sure, you can drain your wallet at the nearest Olive Garden and toss her some free, stale breadsticks while whipping out your cock. Or, you can put together that meal you’ve perfected and look like a total, oh-so-manly pro⁴. Cooking can be fun (not like, “Wee!” fun, but like, “Wow, I made this and it actually tastes decent” fun). Props⁹ to the men who can make the best breakfast.

7 Not dressing¹⁰ like a douche

Don’t feel obligated to don a suit, tie, and freshly shaved face. Just ditch the khaki cargo¹¹ shorts (they’re flesh-colored, need we say anymore?), tell your collar to settle the f-ck down, and banish¹² the shiny, neon, chest-hair-showing, label-screaming, rhinestone-y-shit. You’re getting old. No one wants to see that. Dressing like a sexy D.I.L.F. will take some practice knowing what you’re comfortable in and probably the hand of a good woman who knows what WWD stands for.

6 Basic car maneuvers¹³

Do you have to deem someone else responsible while attempting to parallel park? Does your forehead become damp at the prospect¹⁴ of backing into tight spot? (Everything about that sentence made me squirm—in a good way.) My last car was covered in duct tape for a reason. But the men we chatted with swear that a dude who becomes flustered¹⁵ by a three-point turn deserves a shameful¹⁶ sigh. Practice your skills in a nearby church parking lot like I let my 13-year-old sister do when I was baked in high school (probably why she’s a much better driver than me). Or just do what I did and move to a public transportation-infested city so no one has to become a victim of your awful depth perception.

5 Liquor

Kick off this key stepping stone to manlihood by memorizing a staple¹⁷ cocktail¹⁸ — Manhattan, anyone? Sure, Ice Houses were never really rad to begin with, but they become even more socially unacceptable in general as everyone around you gains, um, success. Manhattan (or dry martini) mastered? Well, look at you, you elegant dick. Try tackling the challenge of learning to hold your liquor next. Puking your innards out is only permissible¹⁹ at bachelor parties, behind closed doors, and when you become a famous alcoholic²⁰ novelist. Proceed by knowing how to open a bottle of wine, and not cringing²¹ when popping a bottle of champagne²².

4 Defusing a situation

There comes a time in every man’s life where getting his finger bitten off in a bar after starting a brawl²³ is not tough. Nor is having your girl bust²⁴ you out of jail (even though back in the day that was so punk rock). Be that guy everyone loves: “No, no, no, let’s calm it down everyone,” he says, glowing, as two backwards-cap wearing “Ivy League” dogs bark at one another outside of the pub. Women swoon at the sidelines, on looking guys kick the dust on the ground, wishing they could be as stoic²⁵ as you.

3 Technology/sex etiquette²⁶

This category includes the following: A) Realizing the appropriate cut-off time for a booty-call, B) Texting to turn on (and thus, not repulse), and C) Learning to seduce²⁷ via Skype sex. It’s the age of new media. Get with the times, kid. Some dudes disagreed with me on the video chat sex bit, but let me just say this: Get a girlfriend, travel for business, enjoy coaxing²⁸ said woman into unleashing²⁹ her inner Internet porn persona. We all have them in there somewhere. And hey, it’s free.

One overriding³⁰ consensus³¹ under this point: Texting dick pics = Meh. You’d be better snapping a shot of your hair looking especially cute, because I’m really wanting to pull it right about now.

2 Changing a tire — and a diaper

We’ve met women who have actually fallen in love with guys who have nonchalantly changed a tire in an end-of-vacation crisis. Hooray for independence and having the know-how³² to solve a problem! Feel as comfortable changing a newborn’s soiled, gag-inducing diaper as you do that tire? We’ll be sure to drink to your high level or modern manliness³³. If you want the future mother of your children to take care of all that shit for you while you run around and mow³⁴ the lawn and scratch your balls, consider becoming one of those sex tourists in Thailand. But first you should make some cash money. We hear you’ll have a lot of competition with other damaged-ego white dudes. We also hear their food is cheap, spicy³⁵, and delicious! Mmm!

1 Oral sex

Okay, okay totally biased³⁶. (I’m actually transparently³⁷ biased on everything, but you guys still want to read my shit and virtually befriend me, so whatever.) You know I already care about spreading the good word on getting a girl off. Great, fulfilling sex is just the launching pad for a click-your-heels-at-the-end-of-the-day sort of life. And it all begins down there. And maybe this point is a metaphor³⁸ for mastering the art of being more considerate of others. Morality and great oral? Anyone?

Got any questions or advice you want this blonde, sexist broad to talk about? Send me a message on Facebook.

1 concocted   

v.将（尤指通常不相配合的）成分混合成某物( concoct的过去式和过去分词 )；调制；编造；捏造

参考例句：

• The soup was concocted from up to a dozen different kinds of fish. 这种汤是用多达十几种不同的鱼熬制而成的。
• Between them they concocted a letter. 他们共同策划写了一封信。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 beverages   

n.饮料( beverage的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• laws governing the sale of alcoholic beverages 控制酒类销售的法规
• regulations governing the sale of alcoholic beverages 含酒精饮料的销售管理条例

3 dissected   

adj.切开的，分割的，（叶子）多裂的v.解剖（动物等）( dissect的过去式和过去分词 )；仔细分析或研究

参考例句：

• Her latest novel was dissected by the critics. 评论家对她最近出版的一部小说作了详细剖析。
• He dissected the plan afterward to learn why it had failed. 他事后仔细剖析那项计划以便搞清它失败的原因。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 pro   

n.赞成，赞成的意见，赞成者

参考例句：

• The two debating teams argued the question pro and con.辩论的两组从赞成与反对两方面辩这一问题。
• Are you pro or con nuclear disarmament?你是赞成还是反对核裁军？

5 Amended   

adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He asked to see the amended version. 他要求看修订本。
• He amended his speech by making some additions and deletions. 他对讲稿作了些增删修改。

6 doling   

救济物( dole的现在分词 )； 失业救济金

参考例句：

• "What are you doling?'she once demanded over the intercom. 有一次他母亲通过对讲机问他：“你在干什么？ 来自英汉非文学 - 科学史
• Many scrollbars are quite parsimonious in doling out information to users. 很多滚动条都很吝啬，给用户传递的信息太少。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

7 metabolism   

n.新陈代谢

参考例句：

• After years of dieting,Carol's metabolism was completely out of whack.经过数年的节食，卡罗尔的新陈代谢完全紊乱了。
• All living matter undergoes a process of metabolism.生物都有新陈代谢。

8 revved   

v.（使）加速( rev的过去式和过去分词 )；（数量、活动等）激增；（使发动机）快速旋转；（使）活跃起来

参考例句：

• The taxi driver revved up his engine. 出租车司机把发动机发动起来。
• The car revved up and roared away. 汽车发动起来，然后轰鸣着开走了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 props   

小道具； 支柱( prop的名词复数 )； 支持者； 道具； （橄榄球中的）支柱前锋

参考例句：

• Rescuers used props to stop the roof of the tunnel collapsing. 救援人员用支柱防止隧道顶塌陷。
• The government props up the prices of farm products to support farmers' incomes. 政府保持农产品价格不变以保障农民们的收入。

10 dressing   

n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料

参考例句：

• Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
• The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。

11 cargo   

n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物

参考例句：

• The ship has a cargo of about 200 ton.这条船大约有200吨的货物。
• A lot of people discharged the cargo from a ship.许多人从船上卸下货物。

12 banish   

vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除

参考例句：

• The doctor advised her to banish fear and anxiety.医生劝她消除恐惧和忧虑。
• He tried to banish gloom from his thought.他试图驱除心中的忧愁。

13 maneuvers   

n.策略，谋略，花招( maneuver的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He suspected at once that she had been spying upon his maneuvers. 他立刻猜想到，她已经侦察到他的行动。 来自辞典例句
• Maneuvers in Guizhou occupied the Reds for four months. 贵州境内的作战占了红军四个月的时间。 来自辞典例句

14 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

15 flustered   

adj.慌张的；激动不安的v.使慌乱，使不安( fluster的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The honking of horns flustered the boy. 汽车喇叭的叫声使男孩感到慌乱。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• She was so flustered that she forgot her reply. 她太紧张了，都忘记了该如何作答。 来自辞典例句

16 shameful   

adj.可耻的，不道德的

参考例句：

• It is very shameful of him to show off.他向人炫耀自己，真不害臊。
• We must expose this shameful activity to the newspapers.我们一定要向报社揭露这一无耻行径。

17 staple   

n.主要产物，常用品，主要要素，原料，订书钉，钩环；adj.主要的，重要的；vt.分类

参考例句：

• Tea is the staple crop here.本地产品以茶叶为大宗。
• Potatoes are the staple of their diet.土豆是他们的主要食品。

18 cocktail   

n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物

参考例句：

• We invited some foreign friends for a cocktail party.我们邀请了一些外国朋友参加鸡尾酒会。
• At a cocktail party in Hollywood,I was introduced to Charlie Chaplin.在好莱坞的一次鸡尾酒会上，人家把我介绍给查理·卓别林。

19 permissible   

adj.可允许的，许可的

参考例句：

• Is smoking permissible in the theatre?在剧院里允许吸烟吗？
• Delay is not permissible,even for a single day.不得延误，即使一日亦不可。

20 alcoholic   

adj.（含）酒精的，由酒精引起的；n.酗酒者

参考例句：

• The alcoholic strength of brandy far exceeds that of wine.白兰地的酒精浓度远远超过葡萄酒。
• Alcoholic drinks act as a poison to a child.酒精饮料对小孩犹如毒药。

21 cringing   

adj.谄媚，奉承

参考例句：

• He had a cringing manner but a very harsh voice.他有卑屈谄媚的神情，但是声音却十分粗沙。
• She stepped towards him with a movement that was horribly cringing.她冲他走了一步，做出一个低三下四，令人作呕的动作。

22 champagne   

n.香槟酒；微黄色

参考例句：

• There were two glasses of champagne on the tray.托盘里有两杯香槟酒。
• They sat there swilling champagne.他们坐在那里大喝香槟酒。

23 brawl   

n.大声争吵，喧嚷；v.吵架，对骂

参考例句：

• They had nothing better to do than brawl in the street.他们除了在街上斗殴做不出什么好事。
• I don't want to see our two neighbours engaged in a brawl.我不希望我们两家吵架吵得不可开交。

24 bust   

vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部

参考例句：

• I dropped my camera on the pavement and bust it. 我把照相机掉在人行道上摔坏了。
• She has worked up a lump of clay into a bust.她把一块黏土精心制作成一个半身像。

25 stoic   

n.坚忍克己之人，禁欲主义者

参考例句：

• A stoic person responds to hardship with imperturbation.坚忍克己之人经受苦难仍能泰然自若。
• On Rajiv's death a stoic journey began for Mrs Gandhi,supported by her husband's friends.拉吉夫死后，索尼亚在丈夫友人的支持下开始了一段坚忍的历程。

26 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

27 seduce   

vt.勾引，诱奸，诱惑，引诱

参考例句：

• She has set out to seduce Stephen.她已经开始勾引斯蒂芬了。
• Clever advertising would seduce more people into smoking.巧妙策划的广告会引诱更多的人吸烟。

28 coaxing   

v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱；“锻炼”效应

参考例句：

• No amount of coaxing will make me change my mind. 任你费尽口舌也不会说服我改变主意。
• It took a lot of coaxing before he agreed. 劝说了很久他才同意。 来自辞典例句

29 unleashing   

v.把（感情、力量等）释放出来，发泄( unleash的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Company logos: making people's life better by unleashing Cummins power. 公司理念：以康明斯动力建设更美好的生活！ 来自互联网
• Sooner or later the dam will burst, unleashing catastrophic destruction. 否则堤坝将崩溃，酿成灾难。 来自互联网

30 overriding   

a.最主要的

参考例句：

• Development is of overriding importance. 发展是硬道理
• My overriding concern is to raise the standards of state education. 我最关心的是提高国民教育水平。

31 consensus   

n.(意见等的)一致，一致同意，共识

参考例句：

• Can we reach a consensus on this issue?我们能在这个问题上取得一致意见吗？
• What is the consensus of opinion at the afternoon meeting?下午会议上一致的意见是什么？

32 know-how   

n.知识；技术；诀窍

参考例句：

• He hasn't got the know-how to run a farm.他没有经营农场的专业知识。
• I don't have much know-how about engines.发动机方面的技术知识我知之甚少。

33 manliness   

刚毅

参考例句：

• She was really fond of his strength, his wholesome looks, his manliness. 她真喜欢他的坚强，他那健康的容貌，他的男子气概。
• His confidence, his manliness and bravery, turn his wit into wisdom. 他的自信、男子气概和勇敢将他的风趣变为智慧。

34 mow   

v.割（草、麦等），扫射，皱眉；n.草堆，谷物堆

参考例句：

• He hired a man to mow the lawn.他雇人割草。
• We shall have to mow down the tall grass in the big field.我们得把大田里的高草割掉。

35 spicy   

adj.加香料的；辛辣的，有风味的

参考例句：

• The soup tasted mildly spicy.汤尝起来略有点辣。
• Very spicy food doesn't suit her stomach.太辣的东西她吃了胃不舒服。

36 biased   

a.有偏见的

参考例句：

• a school biased towards music and art 一所偏重音乐和艺术的学校
• The Methods: They employed were heavily biased in the gentry's favour. 他们采用的方法严重偏袒中上阶级。

37 transparently   

明亮地，显然地，易觉察地

参考例句：

• "Clearly plots,'said Jacques Three. "Transparently!" “显然是搞阴谋，”雅克三号说，“再清楚不过了。” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• All design transparently, convenient for the file identification inside the bag. 全透明设计，方便袋内文件识别。

38 metaphor   

n.隐喻，暗喻

参考例句：

• Using metaphor,we say that computers have senses and a memory.打个比方，我们可以说计算机有感觉和记忆力。
• In poetry the rose is often a metaphor for love.玫瑰在诗中通常作为爱的象征。