爱情秘籍：幸福夫妻的10个好习惯

 　　Healthy couples build their love from robust¹ and solid pillars like respect, admiration², equality, complicity, transparency and trust.

　　关系健康的夫妻用坚实有力的支柱构建爱情，如尊重、赞赏、平等、共谋、透明和信任。

　　These are the habits you should review in order to evaluate the state of wellbeing that exists in your relationship:

　　以下是你该看看的习惯，来评估一下你的夫妻关系的幸福程度。

　　爱情秘籍：幸福夫妻的10个好习惯

　　1. They go to bed at the same time.

　　他们睡觉时间一致。

　　Happy couples are synchronized³ and they go to bed at night at the same time, except for certain justified⁴ exceptions, such as an excess of work for one partner or the illness of the other. Why would you want to stay awake when your partner has already decided⁵ to go to bed?

　　幸福的夫妻保持同步，晚上同时上床睡觉，除非有什么合理的例外情况，比如说一方加班或另外一个人生病了。为什么爱人已经决定去睡觉了你却还不想睡呢？

　　2. They cultivate common interests.

　　他们培养共同的兴趣。

　　One of the strengths that solid couples have is the trait of sharing hobbies or common interests, as well as joint⁶ projects. How many activities do you share with your partner? What interests unite you?

　　稳固夫妻关系的力量之一是分享爱好或共同兴趣，以及共同规划。有几个活动是你和伴侣一起参加的？什么兴趣把你们联系在一起？

　　3. They walk hand in hand.

　　他们走路时手拉手。

　　Couples had better walk side by side and hold hands. This gesture is a symbol of unity⁷ and affection. Do not lose the sense of companionship. What would happen if you were to resume the custom of holding hands?

　　夫妻走路时最好肩并肩手拉手。这个姿势是团结和爱的象征。不要丢掉陪伴的感觉，如果你们重新养成拉手的习惯会怎样呢？

　　4. They focus more on what their partner does right than what they do wrong.

　　他们更关注爱人做对了什么，而不是做错了什么。

　　If you insist in seeking fault in your partner, I assure you that you will always find something. If you concentrate on finding positive qualities and virtues⁸, I assure you that you will find those as well. What aspects do you focus on? Happy couples accentuate⁹ the positive.

　　如果你非要挑爱人的错的话，我保证你总能找到错处。如果你专心去发现积极的品质和优点，我保证你也能找到。你关注的是哪方面呢？幸福的夫妻注重的是积极的方面。

　　5. They embrace when they see each other after the workday or other activities.

　　他们一天工作或其他活动过后见面时会拥抱。

　　The absence of caresses¹⁰ and hugs in a relationship is emotional neglect with important consequences. How long has it been since you gave your partner a passionate¹¹ kiss?

　　感情中缺少爱抚和拥抱是情感的疏忽，后果很严重。你多久没有热情地亲吻爱人了？

　　6. They trust and forgive.

　　他们信任，能够原谅。

　　Forgiveness is the great tool of healing and repair. It provides tremendous relief and it prevents relationships from deteriorating¹². If we add trust to forgiveness, we drive away the resentment¹³ that may follow from unresolved issues or conversations. How many times have you been left with the feeling that you didn't say everything that you wanted to during a discussion with your partner? What do you think you would have to change about yourself in order to be able to sincerely forgive? Why is there no trust in your relationship?

　　原谅是治愈和修复的好工具，给人极大安慰，避免关系恶化。如果我们在原谅的基础上加上信任，就能赶走悬而未决的问题和未完成的对话造成的怨恨。有多少次和爱人讨论时你都有话没说完的感觉？你觉得要由衷地去原谅别人自己还需要做出什么改变？为什么你们的关系中没有信任？

　　7. They say "I love you" and "Have a good day."

　　他们说“我爱你”和“祝你今天开心”。

　　The day begins at home with the people we live with. Knowing that you can count on the support of your partner will make daily problems, challenges, and nuisances affect you differently. Keep the habit of wishing your partner a good day and telling them that you love them. When was the last time that you told them so?

　　每一天都是从家里和跟我们共同生活的人一起开始的。知道自己能依靠爱人的支持会改变每天的问题、挑战和麻烦事对你造成的影响。坚持祝爱人一天开心和告诉他们你爱他们的习惯。你上一次跟他们说这些话是什么时候？

　　8. They say "Good night" every night.

　　他们每天晚上说“晚安”。

　　It is very comforting to end every day at home with the feeling that our relationship is special. What a happy couple shares is much bigger than any troubling incident.

　　在家里一天结束的时候感觉自己的夫妻关系很特殊非常能给人安慰。幸福夫妻之间分享的事比任何一件烦人的事都重要。

　　9. They call or send a message to their partner during the day.

　　他们白天给爱人打电话或发信息。

　　Calling or sending a message asking our partner how they are or how their day is going helps to maintain a loving connection and a bridge of complicity. How would you feel if in the middle of a difficult situation you received a message from your partner telling you that they miss you and are happy to be with you?

　　打电话或者发信息询问爱人他们怎么样或一天过得怎么样有助于稳定一段恩爱的关系，也是共谋的桥梁。当你陷入困境时收到了爱人的信息告诉你他们想你了，和你在一起很幸福，这时你会有何感受呢？

　　10. They feel proud of their partner.

　　他们为爱人感到骄傲。

　　Admiration is one of the keystones of a happy relationship. What do you most admire about your partner? How far do you go to show it?

　　赞赏是幸福关系的基础之一，你最欣赏爱人什么？你会表现到什么程度？

1 robust   

adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的

参考例句：

• She is too tall and robust.她个子太高，身体太壮。
• China wants to keep growth robust to reduce poverty and avoid job losses,AP commented.美联社评论道，中国希望保持经济强势增长，以减少贫困和失业状况。

2 admiration   

n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕

参考例句：

• He was lost in admiration of the beauty of the scene.他对风景之美赞不绝口。
• We have a great admiration for the gold medalists.我们对金牌获得者极为敬佩。

3 synchronized   

同步的

参考例句：

• Do not use the synchronized keyword in Managed Objects. 不要在管理对象上使用synchronized关键字。 来自互联网
• The timing of the gun was precisely synchronized with the turning of the plane's propeller. 风门的调速与飞机螺旋桨的转动精确同步。 来自辞典例句

4 justified   

a.正当的，有理的

参考例句：

• She felt fully justified in asking for her money back. 她认为有充分的理由要求退款。
• The prisoner has certainly justified his claims by his actions. 那个囚犯确实已用自己的行动表明他的要求是正当的。

5 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

6 joint   

adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合

参考例句：

• I had a bad fall,which put my shoulder out of joint.我重重地摔了一跤，肩膀脫臼了。
• We wrote a letter in joint names.我们联名写了封信。

7 unity   

n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调

参考例句：

• When we speak of unity,we do not mean unprincipled peace.所谓团结，并非一团和气。
• We must strengthen our unity in the face of powerful enemies.大敌当前，我们必须加强团结。

8 virtues   

美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处

参考例句：

• Doctors often extol the virtues of eating less fat. 医生常常宣扬少吃脂肪的好处。
• She delivered a homily on the virtues of family life. 她进行了一场家庭生活美德方面的说教。

9 accentuate   

v.着重，强调

参考例句：

• She has beautiful eyes, so we should accentuate them in the makeup.她眼睛很美丽，我们在化妆时应该突出她的眼睛。
• Mrs Obamas speeches rarely accentuate the positive.奥巴马夫人的演讲很少强调美国积极的一面。

10 caresses   

爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A breeze caresses the cheeks. 微风拂面。
• Hetty was not sufficiently familiar with caresses or outward demonstrations of fondness. 海蒂不习惯于拥抱之类过于外露地表现自己的感情。

11 passionate   

adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的

参考例句：

• He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
• He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。

12 deteriorating   

恶化，变坏( deteriorate的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The weather conditions are deteriorating. 天气变得越来越糟。
• I was well aware of the bad morale and the deteriorating factories. 我很清楚，大家情绪低落，各个工厂越搞越坏。

13 resentment   

n.怨愤，忿恨

参考例句：

• All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。