藏在心中的黑暗小秘密

 What is that one secret that you can never share with anyone?

有哪个秘密是你永远不会跟别人讲的？

获得2.5k好评的答案

The secret is that my mother had been harassed¹ mentally and physically² continuously by my father for the past 20 years.

这个秘密就是我妈妈已经被我爸爸在精神和肉体上虐待长达二十年。

I belong to a sexist family in which females are taken for granted.

我家里充满了性别歧视，女性被理所当然地歧视着。

Whenever my father hurt my mother I use to beg for mercy and also I use to get really scared and cry a lot but all in vain.

每当我爸爸对妈妈施暴的时候，我会去求饶，而且我也会感到很害怕，不停地哭，但是这都没有用。

藏在心中的黑暗小秘密

There were times I pray about someone at-least one person coming for our rescue.

有几次我都在祈祷至少有个人能来救救我们。

A god or an angel or a relative or a family friend.

神也好天使也好亲戚也好我们家的朋友也好。

But there was none perhaps angels exists in fiction only.

大概是因为天使只存在于故事里，并没有任何人出现。

On 2012 at the age of 20 years I decided³ that this is it and I should take charge and act on it.

2012年，也就是我20岁的那一年，我下定决心，认为我应该掌握主动权并且付出行动。

I confronted my father, told him to stop when he didn't I did became violent in-order to convince him I am very serious about my mother's protection ...he backed away.

我站在我爸爸面前，告诉他不要再施暴了，如果他不停止的话，我就会反过来成为施暴者来让他相信我是认真想要保护我妈妈······然后他退缩了。

Now it's about 4th year in running and he have never dared to think of hurting my mother in any way.

现在4年过去了，他再也不敢想着去伤害我妈妈了。

I learned two things.

从这里我学到了两件事。

1. Acting⁴ on something is way better than thinking about it (always).

1、付出行动比深思熟虑要好得多（一直以来都是）。

2. The greatest gift a father can give to his child is to love his mother.

2、一位父亲能给孩子最好的礼物就是爱孩子的母亲。

I also took a pledge for my inner peace to never hurt any female under any given circumstances.

我也发誓，为了我的内心安稳，不论在任何情况下，我都不会去伤害任何女性。

获得350好评的答案@Koustav Bandyopadhyay

I never thought that I would ever say this, especially on such a platform.

我从来没想过我会把这件事说出来，尤其是在这样一个平台。

I suffer from an Inferiority Complex.

我深受自卑情绪的困扰。

When I see people better than me in any field, I feel a bit humiliated⁵, subdued⁶ and intimidated⁷, I die a bit inside.

当我看到有人在任何领域比我优秀时，我就会觉得屈辱、抑郁以及恐惧，我心里会有点绝望。

No matter how much I pretend to be confident, there is always this little voice nagging⁸ and pulling me down, telling me inferior to others. This little insecurity pulls me down in every field I do, be it talking to people, or studying.

不论我怎么假装我很自信，一直有个声音小声地絮叨着，告诉我，我比别人差劲，摧毁我的自信。这种微弱的不安全感在我尝试的所有领域都会摧毁我，不管是在与他人交谈还是学习的时候。

May be, I overreact, but I can't talk about it.

也许是我反应过度，但是我没法把这件事讲出来。

1 harassed   

adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He has complained of being harassed by the police. 他投诉受到警方侵扰。
• harassed mothers with their children 带着孩子的疲惫不堪的母亲们

2 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

3 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

4 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

5 humiliated   

感到羞愧的

参考例句：

• Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当，父母也失体面。
• He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻，丢尽了面子。

6 subdued   

adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He seemed a bit subdued to me. 我觉得他当时有点闷闷不乐。
• I felt strangely subdued when it was all over. 一切都结束的时候，我却有一种奇怪的压抑感。

7 intimidated   

v.恐吓；威胁adj.害怕的；受到威胁的

参考例句：

• We try to make sure children don't feel intimidated on their first day at school. 我们努力确保孩子们在上学的第一天不胆怯。
• The thief intimidated the boy into not telling the police. 这个贼恫吓那男孩使他不敢向警察报告。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 nagging   

adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责

参考例句：

• Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。
• I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。 来自《简明英汉词典》