这么全面的聊天技巧，你都用过吗？

 　　下面这10个跟老外聊天的技巧，可以帮你火速找到小伙伴。

　　1. 多问开放式的问题。

　　Ask open ended questions.

　　那些问了半天，只能让对方蹦出两个字的问题，就别再问了。想要进一步增进了解，还是聊点儿能让人滔滔不绝的话题吧!毕竟聊得多了才更有可能进一步交往嘛~

　　It is difficult to connect with someone if you ask them questions that can be answered in two words. There is no chance for a connection to develop. Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” trying asking “What do you think of your neighborhood?” Instead of “where did you get that shirt?” try “What do you think of the new store in the mall?” The longer you talk, the more chance there is for a connection to grow.

　　2. 找找你们的共同点。

　　Find things in common.

　　好朋友聊得来，首先要有共同话题。如果对方说自己在银行实习，你可以提提你在金融圈的亲朋好友。如果对方爱看真人秀，那就从你喜欢的节目聊起吧!

　　If your potential new friend interned¹ at Credit Suisse, discuss that your brother works in finance. If she is all about reality TV, tell her which shows you’re into. Friendship is built on commonalities.

　　3. 多聊点感受。

　　Use emotion words.

　　讲话内容太客观实则枯燥乏味。如果你想让对方感兴趣，那就多聊点你的感受吧!比如出门旅行这种事，与其唠叨那些细碎的经过，倒不如跟大家分享你差点找不到北的囧事儿，和如何打发漫长旅途的郁闷。

　　Sticking to the facts makes a conversation dry and boring. You want to capture your new acquaintance’s interest by using emotion words so they can connect with you on a genuine level. Instead of going into detail about where you stayed on your trip to London, talk about how anxious you felt when you almost missed your connection. Instead of describing how long your commute² is, discuss how much you dread³ that hour of your day.

　　4. 对方让你想起了谁?

　　Think of who this person reminds you of.

　　不管是身边的亲朋好友，还是电视里的名人明星，如果你发现对面这个人和其中哪位有些相似，就大胆说出来吧!大部分人还是会认为这是认可和称赞哒~

　　If this person reminds you of a friend, someone on TV, or a public figure, tell them, as long as it isn’t insulting, of course. People love to hear who others think they look or act like. It is flattering that someone thinks about you enough to compare you to someone that they know and like.

　　5. 讲话要有正能量。

　　Say positive things.

　　抱怨和发牢骚就免了吧!人家还没怎么跟你接触，估计就快受不了了。想想看也能知道，谁会跟平时就爱大惊小怪和满满负能量的人做盆友呢?

　　Don’t complain or whine⁴ about your life or discuss how upset you are by friend or work drama. This makes a potential friend wary⁵ of getting too close. It can seem like you’re always creating drama and negative energy, which is a turn off.

　　6. 别做大嘴巴!

　　Don’t gossip.

　　爱跟别人说闲话的人，旁人都不敢跟他们走太近。谁知道你一扭脸，又会说人家什么呢?所以，聊天的时候最好让人家知道你不是大嘴巴，没事儿别老把其他人扯进话题里。

　　Many people will gossip right back, but then won’t be interested in becoming a closer friend to you. In the back of their mind, they will keep wondering what you’re going to say about them when their back is turned. Try to stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt when you talk about them, or better, just talk about the two of you without dragging others, who aren’t even there, into the conversation.

　　7. 别说自己的坏话。

　　Don’t self-deprecate.

　　在人前数落自己的不是，会让旁人十分尴尬。这让人家该怎么回应你呢?毕竟不是所有人都能像心理医生那样当你的垃圾桶。

　　It can make people feel awkward to be around individuals who talk badly about themselves, complaining about their various terrible qualities. They feel like they have to reassure⁶ you, and nobody wants to be someone’s therapist.

　　8. 称赞你俩的好友。

　　Praise mutual⁷ friends.

　　如果你们都和同一个人是好朋友，那就一起说说他的好话吧!这样做不仅能提升你们对彼此的好感，还为今后大家一起玩耍创造了机会。

　　If you know someone in common, talk nicely about them. This will increase the chances that this new acquaintance thinks well of you, and it also makes it likely that the three of you can hang out sometime.

　　9. 聊聊今后可以一起参加的活动。

　　Discuss potential future activities.

　　如果新认识的小伙伴提到了一个你很感兴趣的活动，下次有类似的活动别忘了叫上他们。千万不要太一本正经地拿出手机查你的档期，你只需立刻表现出热情就好了。

　　If your new acquaintance mentions an activity that you also enjoy, invite them to join you in the future. Not in a creepy way where you bring out your phone and start looking at the calendar, but just say that you’d love to have them come along surfing the next time you go to the beach, or whatever the case may be.

　　10. 要个联系方式不必害臊。

　　Don’t be shy about asking to connect.

　　想要和人家成为好朋友，就别太矜持了。社交媒体这么多，加个微博微信神马的没什么大不了。如果对方能爽快地接受邀请加你做好友，那说明他对你的印象也还不错。

　　Plant the seed that you want to be closer friends by saying something like, “I’ll definitely have to friend you on Facebook.” This is also a good way to assess whether this person is also interested in being friends. If they seem excited and later immediately accept your friend request, it’s likely that a friendship may be developing.

1 interned   

v.拘留，关押( intern的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He was interned but,as he was in no way implicated in war crimes,was released. 他曾被拘留过，但因未曾涉嫌战争罪行而被释放了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• These soldiers were interned in a neutral country until the war was over. 这些士兵被拘留在一个中立国，直到战争结束。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

2 commute   

vi.乘车上下班；vt.减(刑)；折合；n.上下班交通

参考例句：

• I spend much less time on my commute to work now.我现在工作的往返时间要节省好多。
• Most office workers commute from the suburbs.很多公司的职员都是从郊外来上班的。

3 dread   

vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧

参考例句：

• We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
• Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。

4 whine   

v.哀号，号哭；n.哀鸣

参考例句：

• You are getting paid to think,not to whine.支付给你工资是让你思考而不是哀怨的。
• The bullet hit a rock and rocketed with a sharp whine.子弹打在一块岩石上，一声尖厉的呼啸，跳飞开去。

5 wary   

adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的

参考例句：

• He is wary of telling secrets to others.他谨防向他人泄露秘密。
• Paula frowned,suddenly wary.宝拉皱了皱眉头，突然警惕起来。

6 reassure   

v.使放心，使消除疑虑

参考例句：

• This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点，于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。
• The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。

7 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。