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VOA慢速英语2011--Delaying Marriage: Instead of 'I Do,' Mo

时间:2011-05-23 08:52:43

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THIS IS AMERICA - Delaying Marriage: Instead of 'I Do,' More Americans Say 'Let's Wait'

FAITH LAPIDUS: Welcome to THIS IS AMERICA in VOA Special English. I'm Faith Lapidus.
BOB DOUGHTY1: And I'm Bob Doughty. This week on our program, we talk about couples and relationships.
(MUSIC)
FAITH LAPIDUS: What do traditional American weddings look like? Well, in some ways, they look like smaller versions of last month's wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William in London.
The bride traditionally wears a long white dress and the groom2 might wear a uniform if he is in the military. Otherwise he usually wears a tuxedo3 or suit. A member of the clergy4 usually leads the ceremony, and the bride and groom exchange rings and vows5.
But getting married is not the only way some American couples choose to declare their love.
(MUSIC)
ELLEN: "Maybe we will get married someday. Maybe we'll get matching tattoos6 someday. But at this point it's just a party."
BOB DOUGHTY: Ellen and her boyfriend, Doug, have been a couple for more than eleven years. They own a house together in northern California. This spring, Ellen and Doug decided7 to celebrate their relationship. They invited one hundred and thirty friends to a party. Ellen wore a big pink gown. Doug came dressed as a red, ripe strawberry.
Everyone ate a nice dinner outdoors, then went inside to dance. Ellen and Doug did not read vows or exchange rings -- there was no ceremony, no kiss, no wedding.
ELLEN: "We feel like we are together. This didn't really need to be confirmed at this point in our relationship. But we did want to have a party and celebrate it. But it was definitely confusing for other folks, I think, just because they hold specific expectations culturally and socially about marriage."
Some of the guests were not sure what to think of Ellen and Doug's celebration -- or even how to describe it. Some found it easier to tell other people that they were going to a wedding. That way they did not have to take the time to explain.
So what did Ellen's family think of this untraditional celebration? This is her aunt.
ELLEN'S AUNT: "I actually don't know what to say about it. I was quite surprised first of all and was trying to find out from Ellen for the longest time what this was about."
This is Ellen's godfather.
ELLEN'S GODFATHER: "As long as two people care about each other, love each other, whether they want to get married or not, as long as they don't hurt anyone else, and they love each other, it's not up to us to judge them, really."
And this is Ellen's father. What did he think of the whole situation?
ELLEN'S FATHER: "I want a grandchild. I'll be seventy in July, and I just -- whether they get married or not, I want a grandchild."
(MUSIC)
FAITH LAPIDUS: Last year's national census8 counted more than six million unmarried couples in the United States who were living together. That was a thirteen percent increase from the last census in two thousand.
Americans have been waiting longer to get married. The Census Bureau estimates that in eighteen ninety, half of all women who got married for the first time were twenty-two or younger. For men the median age -- meaning half were younger and half were older -- was twenty-six. By last year, however, the median age for women was twenty-six, and for men it was twenty-eight.
A new Census Bureau report shows that twenty-five years ago, one in four women age twenty-five to twenty-nine had never been married. In two thousand nine that number was close to half.
BOB DOUGHTY: There are different reasons why people wait to get married. They may want to first complete their education or establish a career or gain financial security. Or they may have just not found the right person.
But experts say more and more Americans have simply chosen not to get married or at least not to take that step too quickly.
The Alternatives to Marriage Project is a nonprofit organization based in Brooklyn, New York. It works for equality and fairness for unmarried people, including people who are single or live together before marriage.
Nicky Grist is the director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project. She says young couples might live together to save money or because they are trying to decide whether to get married.
And some couples -- like Ellen and Doug -- just might not think marriage is right for them.
(MUSIC)
FAITH LAPIDUS: Another organization, the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, works to support marriage. The director is Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor. He points out that couples who have good incomes and college degrees tend to be married, especially if they have children.
But Mr. Wilcox says many young adults decide not to get married because they have seen their parents or their friends get divorced. As a result, they may not have much hope that a marriage will last.
(MUSIC)
BOB DOUGHTY: Nicky Grist at the Alternatives to Marriage Project says whether two people are married is not important. What is important, she says, is that they take care of each other and depend on each other.
NICKY GRIST: "What we're seeing are increasing numbers of very stable, long-term non-married relationships, and that includes both romantic relationships and also other kinds of relationships where people are simply committed to caring for one another, whether as friends or as extended family. And what we see is that caring goes beyond the one kind of relationship called marriage. And it's really caring that society should support."
But most employers, for example, offer health insurance to a worker's partner only if the couple is married. Unmarried couples may also pay more taxes. And if one person dies, the other person may have a difficult time claiming the couple's money or property.
FAITH LAPIDUS: Brad Wilcox at the National Marriage Project says marriage creates a more stable life than living together. As a result, he says, having married parents is better for children.
BRAD WILCOX: "You can't treat cohabitation like marriage because they're fundamentally different realities. Cohabitation offers people a lot more flexibility9 and freedom, but that's the downside of it too, looking at it from a more relational -- and particularly from a child's -- perspective."
BOB DOUGHTY: In recent years several American states and the District of Columbia have made same-sex marriage legal. But in nineteen ninety-six Congress passed the Defense10 of Marriage Act, or DOMA. For federal purposes it defines marriage as the legal union between a man and a woman. President Bill Clinton signed it into law.
In February of this year, however, President Obama told the Justice Department to stop defending the law in court. He says it violates the Constitution. The Fourteenth Amendment11 says states may not deny anyone the equal protection of the laws. In other words, states cannot give a right to some people but not to others.
President Obama says DOMA discriminates12. But the law remains13 in place. The courts are still debating how to handle this law and the issue of same-sex marriage.
FAITH LAPIDUS: Not all of the issues that face unmarried couples or same-sex couples involve debates over laws, morality or social policy. One question that many couples find difficult to answer is simply what to call each other.
BOB DOUGHTY: n the United States, the tradition has been that a wife takes her husband's last name in place of her own. But many women now add their husband's name or keep their own name. Some couples come up with a new combination for themselves or their children.
Meg Keene started the blog A Practical Wedding. Ms. Keene says one of the hottest topics on her blog is whether women should take their husband's last name. Ms. Keene has been married for more than three years but has still not decided what to do about her own name.
MEG KEENE: "I had my name for almost thirty years by the time I got married. I'm going to be a published author under my name. I'm very tied to it. It's an ongoing14 negotiation15."
(MUSIC)
FAITH LAPIDUS: Our program was written by Kelly Nuxoll. I'm Faith Lapidus.
BOB DOUGHTY: And I'm Bob Doughty. We welcome your comments. Go to voaspecialenglish.com, where you can also read and listen to all of our programs. And you can write to us on Facebook at the VOA Learning English page. Join us again next week for THIS IS AMERICA in VOA Special English.


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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 doughty Jk5zg     
adj.勇猛的,坚强的
参考例句:
  • Most of successful men have the characteristics of contumacy and doughty.绝大多数成功人士都有共同的特质:脾气倔强,性格刚强。
  • The doughty old man battled his illness with fierce determination.坚强的老人用巨大毅力与疾病作斗争。
2 groom 0fHxW     
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁
参考例句:
  • His father was a groom.他父亲曾是个马夫。
  • George was already being groomed for the top job.为承担这份高级工作,乔治已在接受专门的培训。
3 tuxedo WKCzh     
n.礼服,无尾礼服
参考例句:
  • Well,you have your own tuxedo.噢,你有自己的燕尾服。
  • Have I told you how amazing you look in this tuxedo?我告诉过你穿这件燕尾服看起来很棒吗?
4 clergy SnZy2     
n.[总称]牧师,神职人员
参考例句:
  • I could heartily wish that more of our country clergy would follow this example.我衷心希望,我国有更多的牧师效法这个榜样。
  • All the local clergy attended the ceremony.当地所有的牧师出席了仪式。
5 vows c151b5e18ba22514580d36a5dcb013e5     
誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿
参考例句:
  • Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
  • The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。
6 tattoos 659c44f7a230de11d35d5532707cf1f5     
n.文身( tattoo的名词复数 );归营鼓;军队夜间表演操;连续有节奏的敲击声v.刺青,文身( tattoo的第三人称单数 );连续有节奏地敲击;作连续有节奏的敲击
参考例句:
  • His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的胳膊上刺满了花纹。
  • His arms were covered in tattoos. 他的双臂刺满了纹身。 来自《简明英汉词典》
7 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
8 census arnz5     
n.(官方的)人口调查,人口普查
参考例句:
  • A census of population is taken every ten years.人口普查每10年进行一次。
  • The census is taken one time every four years in our country.我国每四年一次人口普查。
9 flexibility vjPxb     
n.柔韧性,弹性,(光的)折射性,灵活性
参考例句:
  • Her great strength lies in her flexibility.她的优势在于她灵活变通。
  • The flexibility of a man's muscles will lessen as he becomes old.人老了肌肉的柔韧性将降低。
10 defense AxbxB     
n.防御,保卫;[pl.]防务工事;辩护,答辩
参考例句:
  • The accused has the right to defense.被告人有权获得辩护。
  • The war has impacted the area with military and defense workers.战争使那个地区挤满了军队和防御工程人员。
11 amendment Mx8zY     
n.改正,修正,改善,修正案
参考例句:
  • The amendment was rejected by 207 voters to 143.这项修正案以207票对143票被否决。
  • The Opposition has tabled an amendment to the bill.反对党已经就该议案提交了一项修正条款。
12 discriminates 6e196af54d58787174643156dbf5a037     
分别,辨别,区分( discriminate的第三人称单数 ); 歧视,有差别地对待
参考例句:
  • The new law discriminates against lower-paid workers. 这条新法律歧视低工资的工人。
  • One test governs state legislation that discriminates against interstate commerce. 一个检验约束歧视州际商业的州立法。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
13 remains 1kMzTy     
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹
参考例句:
  • He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
  • The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。
14 ongoing 6RvzT     
adj.进行中的,前进的
参考例句:
  • The problem is ongoing.这个问题尚未解决。
  • The issues raised in the report relate directly to Age Concern's ongoing work in this area.报告中提出的问题与“关心老人”组织在这方面正在做的工作有直接的关系。
15 negotiation FGWxc     
n.谈判,协商
参考例句:
  • They closed the deal in sugar after a week of negotiation.经过一星期的谈判,他们的食糖生意成交了。
  • The negotiation dragged on until July.谈判一直拖到7月份。

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