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College Admissions: Teaching Parents How to Help

时间:2017-11-26 15:25:30

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For most people around the world, applying for admission to a college or university is a major event in their lives.

Many young people see it as one of their first steps toward becoming adults.

It is also a lot of work. The competition and risk of rejection1 can create a lot of stress, and not just for the applicants3.

Parents of high school students are often very involved in the college search process. Sometimes they are even more invested in the application results than the students themselves.

Ffiona Rees is a senior associate director of international admissions office at the University of California in Los Angeles. She says most students in the United States would list their parents as the main influence on their college application decisions.

“Even when the students are appearing like they don’t want to listen to their parents, they clearly are,” Rees told VOA. “And so, it’s important for the parents to be supportive of the students.

Students look to their parents for all kinds of advice, she says, including where to go and what to study. But Rees argues there is also some important advice parents need to hear if they want to be as helpful as possible to their children.

First, parents must accept that there are limits to what they know about the application process, she says.

She says even parents who attended university in the U.S. themselves, must understand that a lot has changed in just the last 20 years. It is important for parents to join their children in researching the most current college and university requirements.

Working together is important for success, Rees says. And, it can be an important time for parents and students to strengthen their relationships with each other.

Rees says parents need to fully4 devote themselves to the process if they get involved. She describes one college admissions informational meeting in which she witnessed a parent repeatedly leave the room for phone calls. Rees says the parent may have missed important information. But, as important, is the impression such behavior creates. The parent seemed to not care about the student’s interest in attending the school.

“It’s really important that the parents take the time to tell their child how proud they are of them … and to … tell them that you love them no matter what,” Rees said. “Because the students need to hear that. We forget that, while they’re young adults, they’re still only usually 17, 18 years old and they need to hear that from their parents.”

Rees says parents also need to be honest. They may want to protect their children and provide them with everything they want. But students need to know if there are limits to their college search.

For example, will finances5 restrict their choices? Rees says parents must tell their children exactly how much money they will provide for college.

What about distance? Reese says she once got a phone call from unhappy parents demanding to know why the school had accepted their child whose home was far away. They wanted their child to study closer to home. But they had never discussed that with the student, thinking the application would not be successful. Rees says it is important for parents to express such concerns before the student applies to any school.

It is a thin line to walk, Rees suggests. Parents should talk to their future college students, of course. But she says parents also must listen to them. In the end, Rees notes, it is the child who will be attending the college, not the parents. Young people may not be clear on what their educational interests or desires are. Parents may not care for some of their child’s choices. But, Rees says, making such decisions is an important part of becoming an adult.

Such independence is important when it comes to completing college applications as well. Parents may feel the urge to help their children write an essay or fill out a form. Rees advises parents to fight that urge.

Young people must learn to meet deadlines and take responsibility, she says. Valuable lessons can be learned in the application process. And, schools demand the applicant2 be the author of his or her application.

Finally, Rees says, most students will likely be rejected by at least one college or university. Parents, she says, can greatly help their children move beyond such rejection in a healthy way.

“It’s much like when you have a toddler and they fall down,” she said. “If you rush to them and say, ‘Oh, you must be hurt. Are you okay?’ the child is going to react accordingly. If … you say, ‘You’re fine! Get up, off we go,’ then your child is also going to react accordingly. … They will get some letters of denial6. They are not personal rejections7, and it is important that you help to remind your child that they are still a good person.”

I’m Jill Robbins. And I’m Pete Musto.

Words in This Story

apply(ing) – v. to ask formally for something, such as a job, admission to a school, or a loan, usually in writing

stress – n. a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life or work

proud – adj. very happy and pleased because of something you have done, something you own, or someone you know or are related to

finances – n. money available to a government, business, or person

essay – n. a short piece of writing that tells a person's thoughts or opinions about a subject

deadline(s) – n. a date or time when something must be finished

toddler – n. a young child who is just learning to walk

rush – v. to move or do something very quickly or in a way that shows you are in a hurry

accordingly – adv. in a way that fits the facts, needs, or requirements of a situation

remind – v. to cause someone to remember something


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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 rejection FVpxp     
n.拒绝,被拒,抛弃,被弃
参考例句:
  • He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
  • The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。
2 applicant 1MlyX     
n.申请人,求职者,请求者
参考例句:
  • He was the hundredth applicant for the job. 他是第100个申请这项工作的人。
  • In my estimation, the applicant is well qualified for this job. 据我看, 这位应征者完全具备这项工作的条件。
3 applicants aaea8e805a118b90e86f7044ecfb6d59     
申请人,求职人( applicant的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • There were over 500 applicants for the job. 有500多人申请这份工作。
  • He was impressed by the high calibre of applicants for the job. 求职人员出色的能力给他留下了深刻印象。
4 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
5 finances gtYzVq     
n.(pl.)财源,资产
参考例句:
  • I need a professional to sort out my finances. 我需要专业人士为我管理财务。
  • The company's finances are looking a bIt'shaky. 这个公司的财政情况看来有点不稳定。
6 denial Zm0zb     
n.否认;拒绝,拒绝给予
参考例句:
  • The newspaper printed a denial of the untrue story.报社刊登了否认不实消息的声明。
  • Her denial of my advice hurts me.她拒绝我的忠告伤害了我。
7 rejections 159b16c2797ee6b20f045c2047ca4afc     
拒绝( rejection的名词复数 ); 摒弃; 剔除物; 排斥
参考例句:
  • Most writers endure a number of rejections before being published. 大部分作家经历无数次的退稿才守得云开,作品得到发表。
  • Supervise workers and monitors production quality to minimize rejections. 管理工人,监控生产质量,减少退货。

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