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VOA日常语法2022--Giving Writers Helpful Feedback

时间:2022-04-22 02:18:28

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(单词翻译)

Giving Writers Helpful Feedback1

In recent weeks, we have received wonderful messages from our readers and listeners2. These messages contain stories of happiness, sadness, and everything in between.

One message we received was from Shahjahan.

In this week's Everyday Grammar, we will use parts of Shahjahan's message to teach about introductions4, closing statements6, and how to talk about family and education.

A message from Shahjahan

Here is part of the message.

Hi there,

This Is Shahjahan .... We are five brothers and three sisters among them I completed master degree in management in 2002 from National university in Bangladesh. ...When I was child, I had to face straggle with financially since father was poor/middle class farmer. My father had been passed away in June'2021. Now I have to bear my full family.

Thank you so much to give me this opportunity to tell about my life.

Introduction3

Shahjahan's introduction says:

Hi there,

This Is Shahjahan ....

We recommend7 changing "Hi there" to "Hello" or even "Hi."

"Hi there" is a friendly way of speaking or writing, but it is informal8 and generally not used when writing to an unknown person for the first time.

In general, we say "This is + name" when we are talking on the phone or if we are introducing someone else.

Since this is a different situation, we recommend changing this line to: "My name is Shahjahan."

So, the introduction could be:

Hello,

My name is Shajahan.

Family and education

Let's listen again to a few more lines from Shahjahan:

We are five brothers and three sisters among them I completed master degree in management in 2002 from National university in Bangladesh.

We recommend breaking apart the sentence because it contains several ideas. It describes Shahjahan's family and also his studies. One way to make this information clearer is to discuss family in one sentence and education in another sentence. The sentence about family could use the structure9 "I have," as in

I have four brothers and three sisters.

The next sentence could describe Shahjahan's education:

In 2002, I received a master's degree in management from National University in Bangladesh.

Shahjahan then gives a little more information about his childhood:

When I was child, I had to face straggle with financially since father was poor/middle class farmer. My father had been passed away in June'2021. Now I have to bear my full family.

We recommend using the simple past verb10 form in these situations: "faced financial struggles" and "my father passed away."

In the first example, you might use the simple past "I faced financial struggles" because it was a regular, repeated event in the past. In the second example, you could say "my father passed away" because it was an event that took place at a single point in time.

In addition, we recommend simply using the term "poor" instead of "poor/middle class." This is because people usually link financial struggles with the term "poor."

The final sentence uses the verb "bear," but we recommend using the expression "take care of."

So, Shahjahan's sentence could be updated to something like this:

When I was a child, I faced financial struggles because my father was a poor farmer. My father passed away in June 2021. Now I take care of my whole family.

Shahjahan ended his message on a kind note:

Thank you so much to give me this opportunity to tell about my life.

We recommend replacing the word "to" with "for" and "give" with "giving."

The statement5 could be this:

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to tell about my life.

Now, here is Shajahan's message updated with our recommendations11:

Hello, my name is Shahjahan...I have four brothers and three sisters. In 2002, I received a master's degree in management from National University in Bangladesh...When I was a child, I faced financial struggles because my father was a poor farmer. My father passed away in June 2021. Now I take care of my whole family.

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to tell about my life.

Closing Thoughts

We wish Shahjahan continued success in his English studies and in his career.

We hope that all of our readers and listeners gained something from our feedback as well.

If you would like your writing to receive feedback or suggestions, write us a short story (four to five sentences) about your life, your studies, or your interests. We will choose one piece of writing and give detailed12 suggestions in a future report.

Words in This Story

management – n. the act of managing : the conducting or supervising13 of something

informal – adj. appropriate14 to ordinary, casual15, or familiar use

career –n. a job or profession that someone does for a long time

feedback – n. the transmission of corrective information


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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 feedback Wk7xk     
n.回授,反馈,反应
参考例句:
  • I was getting great feedback from my boss.老板对我的评价很高。
  • You need feedback to monitor progress.你需要利用反馈信息来监控进展。
2 listeners 9f99697c78e088cb04e67afd7a9d1068     
n.倾听者,收听者( listener的名词复数 );听众
参考例句:
  • the demographics of radio listeners 电台听众统计数据
  • The singer's high notes jarred on the ears of her listeners. 那位歌手的高音让听众们觉得刺耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 introduction QaSzx     
n.(to)介绍;传入,引进;导言,导论,绪论
参考例句:
  • The introduction tells you how to use the book.引言告诉你怎样使用这本书。
  • A letter of introduction will ensure you an interview.凭一封介绍信准保会接待你。
4 introductions d4ad56c1950754fdd11eb5c3f6b73553     
n.介绍( introduction的名词复数 );引言;引进;新采用的东西
参考例句:
  • With a smile, he makes introductions all round. 他微笑着将在场的人一一作了介绍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • This book has a superfluity of introductions and summaries. 此本书中有多余的介绍和摘要。 来自辞典例句
5 statement 5uzwf     
n.陈述;声明;综述
参考例句:
  • The government will put out a new statement tomorrow.政府将于明天发布一项新声明。
  • Put down your statement in black and white.把你的话用白纸黑字写下来。
6 statements f52ceeba305a64ab1e3b59fcd77fbf53     
n.声明( statement的名词复数 );(思想、观点、文章主题等的)表现;(文字)陈述;结算单
参考例句:
  • We are faced with two apparently contradictory statements. 我们面前这两种说法显然是矛盾的。
  • The report is inconsistent with the financial statements. 这个报告与财务报表内容不一致。
7 recommend btfyK     
vt.推荐,介绍;劝告,建议;使成为可取,使受欢迎
参考例句:
  • Can you recommend me a good book?你能给我介绍一本好书吗?
  • I can recommend this play to all lovers of good theatre.我把这个剧推荐给所有爱好优秀戏剧的人。
8 informal fQVzW     
adj.非正式的,不拘礼的,通俗的
参考例句:
  • I got an informal reception.我受到了非正式接待。
  • The leaders met over informal lunches.领袖们在非正式午餐时进行会晤。
9 structure PtNw5     
n.结构,构造,建筑物;v.构成;
参考例句:
  • Doctors study the structure of the human body.医生研究人体构造。
  • A flower has quite a complicated structure.一朵花的结构相当复杂。
10 verb OiywI     
n.[语]动词
参考例句:
  • The sentence is formed from a verb and two nouns.这句子由一个动词和两个名词构成。
  • These are the finite forms of a verb.这些是一个动词的限定形式。
11 recommendations 69c5c1b33d30582973551f5fb7b7b54c     
n.推荐( recommendation的名词复数 );推荐信;正式建议;提议
参考例句:
  • The board completely disregarded my recommendations. 董事会完全无视我的建议。
  • Recommendations from two previous clients helped to establish her credibility. 两位以前的客户的推荐有助于确立她的诚信度。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 detailed xuNzms     
adj.详细的,详尽的,极注意细节的,完全的
参考例句:
  • He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
  • A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。
13 supervising d5279d2ad6a17d3600fa632b054358e0     
v.监督,管理( supervise的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • She had something to do in the house, supervising that native. 她待在家里,究竟还有点儿事情可以做做,可以监视那个土人。 来自辞典例句
  • In addition, nuisance law fails to provide a systematic mechanism for supervising emissions. 另外,妨害法不能提供一个监督排放的系统性机制。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
14 appropriate 8eCy5     
adj.适当的,合适的;v.拨出,挪用,盗用
参考例句:
  • It is appropriate that he should get the post.由他担任这一职务是恰当的。
  • We should take appropriate measures to improve our teaching.我们应当采取适当的措施提高教学质量。
15 casual QnMyh     
adj.漠不关心,冷漠的;随便的,非正式的;偶然的,碰巧的
参考例句:
  • He earns a living by casual labour.他靠做临时工为生。
  • The guests wore casual clothes.客人们穿着便服。

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