听名著练听力之简爱篇 第97期

（单词翻译）

Was¹ this what God³ wanted me to do with my life⁴? I felt afraid, thinking⁵ that I might⁶ not be able⁷ to say "no" to St. John.
"St. John, don't choose me!" I cried. But I knew that St. John would⁸ not understand my feelings⁹. [-----1-----], no matter how bad it was.
"God wants you to be a missionary's wife¹⁰--my wife," he continued¹¹. "Trust¹² in Him, Jane. Marry¹³ me, to please God."
"St. John, I can't do that. I can't marry you and go to India¹⁴. I'm not strong enough." I said¹⁵ desperately¹⁶.
"I know how hard you can work, Jane. You can help me with the India women, and teach English to many students." [-----2-----]. I believed¹⁷ I could¹⁸ live in India with St. John, because the work would be rewarding¹⁹ and interesting. "Yes, I could do that. But I know he doesn't love me, and yet²⁰ he still asks me to marry him! Why?" I thought²². After a while²³, I said.
"St. John, I will go with you to India, but as² your cousin, not as your wife."
He shook²⁴ his head. "No, Jane. As my cousin, you could marry some other man any time and leave me. I need a wife, who will obey²⁵ me and stay with my until²⁶ death²⁷."
Even²⁸ though²¹ I did²⁹ not want to go, I felt St. John's power³⁰ over me already³¹. "I could go with you to India as a friend, but [-----3-----]. I will always give my heart³² to God, but you don't want it, St. John. You don't love me, and I don't love you," I said to him gently