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This is the VOA Special English Health Report.
Rachel Valltos and Evan Sapperstein are dentists who share an office and a life together. In nine years of marriage, they have built not just a successful dental practice, but also a family.
Rachel and Evan laugh about the last time they argued at their Washington-area home. He wanted her attention. So did one of their three children. Evan yelled at the child.
Rachel told Evan that he was the one acting1 like a baby. That only brought more yelling, which Rachel ignored.
RACHEL VALLTOS: "In the heat of the argument, I usually will back away because I want to avoid confrontation2 in front of the children. But I always have plans to go back and have a discussion about it later."
Rachel and Evan made peace. But researchers might describe the way she dealt with the argument at first as a withdrawal3 strategy.
A team at the University of Michigan recently published a study of how married couples fight. They also looked at how different "styles" of arguing might predict the future of a marriage.
The findings appeared in the Journal of Marriage and Family.
Rachel Valltos and Evan Sapperstein
The study followed three hundred seventy-three couples over sixteen years. Forty-six percent of them had divorced by the final year in two thousand two.
The couples were asked at four different times to report on their most recent conflict. First, they had to agree on which conflict was their most recent.
The husbands and wives each had to choose from a list of behaviors to describe the strategies they used. The list included behaviors like calm discussion, listening and trying hard to find out the other person's feelings.
The list also included behaviors like yelling, using insults, walking away or not communicating -- in other words, the silent treatment.
Assistant professor Kira Birditt led the study.
KIRA BIRDITT: "The husbands were more likely to use the constructive4 strategies like discussing the problem, finding solutions, and wives were more likely to use those destructive or withdrawal strategies."
But Professor Birditt says the study found that over time, wives became less destructive in the way they argued. Husbands stayed the same.
KIRA BIRDITT: "It looked like wives got better at dealing5 with conflict over time using the fewer destructive and withdrawal strategies."
She says the researchers also found that different combinations of strategies may help predict whether a couple will stay together. The chances decrease if only one partner uses constructive strategies.
KIRA BIRDITT: "Try as you might to use the constructive strategy, you have to have both partners using that strategy."
So now back to Evan and Rachel. We spoke6 with Doctor Sapperstein just after he finished a long, difficult root canal on a patient. If he had to choose between another operation like that or a fight with his wife?
EVAN SAPPERSTEIN: "Oh, definitely, the root canal."
And that's the VOA Special English Health Report, written by Caty Weaver7. I'm Jim Tedder
1 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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2 confrontation | |
n.对抗,对峙,冲突 | |
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3 withdrawal | |
n.取回,提款;撤退,撤军;收回,撤销 | |
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4 constructive | |
adj.建设的,建设性的 | |
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5 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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6 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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7 weaver | |
n.织布工;编织者 | |
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