《英语流行话题阅读:语境识词4500》19 A Few Reasons to Hate April Fool's Day

（单词翻译）

　　Unit 19
A Few Reasons to Hate April Fool's Day
April Fool's Day is an odd holiday, and not to everyone's liking¹. In fact, many people dislike it.
When I was growing up I was mostly indifferent to it. Celebrations such as Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving made perfect sense to me, and I eagerly anticipated them, principally because they involved food. April Fool's Day, on the other hand, was just a date on the calendar. If I thought about it at all, it conjured² up visions of fake vomit³, and prank⁴ phone calls, none of which I was particularly interested in since I was quite serious and gloomy as a child. It was only when I was older, after my early seriousness had collapsed⁵ into a cynical⁶ fascination⁷ with the comedic aspects of life, that I acquired an interest in the traditions and history of April Fool's Day.
What I have learned about April Fool's Day, after much study, is that most people regard it with as much indifference⁸ as I formerly⁹ did. Of all the major holidays, it is arguably the least celebrated¹⁰. Most people, if they show any awareness¹¹ of the day at all, do so only in a purposeless fashion. For instance, they might remark that "Oh, it's April Fool's Day," when they notice the date to be April 1st. Very few actually do anything to mark the occasion.
But enough people do celebrate it to keep the holiday alive and kicking. In fact, thanks to the Internet, more people probably celebrate April Fool's Day now than ever before. As someone once remarked, "On the Internet, every day is April Fool's Day," and this statement holds especially true when it actually is April Fool's Day on the Internet.
But I'm not really interested in those who love and celebrate the day, because enough ink is spilled on them every year. Instead, I'm interested in those who hate the day, those whose passive indifference towards the celebration has turned into active hatred¹² and who seek to remove April 1st altogether from the calendar.
I think it's true that to really know something, you need to know its enemies. And just as importantly, because April Fool's Day is all about the freedom to be vulgar, mischievous¹³, deceptive¹⁴, and offensive for one day of the year, it doesn't help to revise its lighthearted follies¹⁵ that people fondly remember -- in order to get at the real inner meaning of the day. Instead we need to inquire into its bitter antagonisms¹⁶. Into its heart of darkness, if you will. And so here is my list, by no means definitive¹⁷, of a few good reasons to hate April Fool's Day.