我们都曾经历过：生活教会我的8堂人生课
时间：2013-03-18 00:58:04
（单词翻译:单击）
Recently, I celebrated1 another birthday. As I look back at how quickly time passes, I am amazed at how much can change in a matter of a year. I think we go through cycles of change -- when the complete unexpected throws you off your equilibrium2 --giving you the opportunity to reassess and recalibrate.
不久前我庆祝了又一个生日。回首往事，时间确如白驹过隙，一年之中可以发生怎样的变化啊！我觉得我们在经历变化循环。当完全出乎意料的事情打破你的旧平衡，就是给你机会重新估价自己并校正方向。
This past year was one of those cycles for me -- and slowly but surely the pieces that were thrown up in the air are falling into place. At a time of reflection, I'd like to share with you some of the things I have learned.
对我来说，过去的一年是那些循环中的一环，慢慢地却确信无疑地被抛起然后回落的过程。反思之余，希望能与你分享我的一些心得。
1. The difference between happy people and unhappy people is their level of
gratitude3.
快乐的人与不快乐的人的不同，在于他们对生活抱有多少感激。
If you observe anyone who is
miserable4, you will notice they are never satisfied and constantly blaming their history, luck or other people for their struggles. If you observe happy people, they are full of gratitude.
在观察痛苦感伤的人时，你会发现他们总是不满足于现状并且不停地抱怨自己的过去、运气或别人的竞争。在观察快乐的人时，你会发现他们满怀感激。
Instead of focusing on what they don't have to achieve/attract love/move forward -- they choose to focus on solutions to create the life they want. Even when these people are triggered by a bad turn of events, after reacting with sadness/frustration/stress/anger -- they get back to their baseline of happiness in due time.
他们集中精力寻找创造他们想要的生活的途径，而不是为一些无关紧要的事情劳心伤神。甚至当受到负面冲击而爆发，在伤心/挫折/紧张/生气之后，他们会适时地回到幸福底线。
Studies show that you can actually rewire your brain for happiness by practicing gratitude on a daily basis. Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. How you will live your days is a choice that is completely within your control.
研究显示，每天下意识地让自己感激，你就能调整你的大脑对幸福的感知。感激是一种选择，幸福是一种态度。如何度过每一天完全在于你自己。
2. You will have your heart broken, and you will survive.
你会心碎，但你会熬过去。
You'd think that one would get better at handling heartaches with age. But they don't get any easier or less painful, do they?
你会认为，随着年龄的增长人们会更得心应手地应对心痛。但是，并不是生活对他们来说更容易、更少心痛，不是吗？
While the
intensity5 of hurt can be just as
potent6, if not more, with each relationship that comes and goes, I have learned that we have an unbreakable spirit that enables us to get back up even after the most crushing of heart experiences.
痛苦可能具有极大的杀伤力，但从各种过往关系中，我知道我们有一种坚不可摧的精神，它甚至能在我们遭受最痛苦的经历之后治愈我们的创伤。
When you're going through the pain of separation it can be difficult to imagine being happy again. But nobody can take away your baseline of joy and happiness.
当遭受离别之痛时，很难想象你会再度拥抱幸福。但是没有人能带走你的快乐与幸福底线。
Even if you are knocked off your feet for a period of time, you do eventually get back to your equilibrium. If you're going through that dark stage where you feel stuck in suffering, try and remember this: You will love again. You will be loved again.
即使你一度被击垮，但你最终会恢复平衡。如果你觉得正在遭受无法摆脱的痛苦，一定要记住：你会再次爱别人，你会再次赢得别人的爱。
3. You will lose your job, and eventually find a better fit.
你可能会失去工作，而结果你获得了一份更适合你的工作。
Endings are just new beginnings in disguise. You may be uncomfortable with the
uncertainty7, but some of the best things in life are born from those times of being open to new opportunities.
结束正是新起点的伪装。面对不确定性你或许不安，但是生命中一些极好的事情却诞生于拥抱新机遇的时刻。
4. People you love will hurt you and disappoint you. Try to look beyond their mistakes and understand their intentions.
你爱的人会伤害你并让你大失所望。努力发现他们错误之外的闪光点，理解他们的意图。
I used to be black and white with friendships. A friend was either a BFF or a
mere8 acquaintance; there wasn't much gray area in between. And if a friend hurt me or didn't
encompass9 the values I did, I'd cut that friendship off.
我曾非常极端地看待友情。要么一生的朋友要么点头之交，没有太多中间地带。如果一个朋友伤害了我或者不认可我的所作所为，那我们的友谊将就此了结。
But I've learned that we all can act a little selfish, forget to consider the people we love, or take others for granted. And that's okay. People go through phases, people make mistakes -- that shouldn't discount a history of times your friend was there for you.
但是，我认识到我们大家都有点自私，会忘记为我们所爱的人去考虑或认为别人为我们做事理所当然。其实没什么，人们会经历各种阶段，人们会犯错误——这些不应该抹杀他们曾给予你的支持。
Sometimes a friendship just needs time to breathe before it can flow again. And that's okay, too.
有时为摆脱僵局，给友情一个喘息的机会。这样也是可以的。
5. One's nature does not change.
本性难移
Our perspectives, our appearances, our
disposition10 can constantly change. But our core nature generally does not. People learn survival
mechanisms11 at a fairly young age -- and that way of being becomes reinforced and ingrained.
我们的观点、外貌和性情不断变化着，但通常情况下我们的核心本质却始终如一。人们幼年时学会生存机制，还有使其强化并根植于内心的方法。
When I asked a dear friend of mine why he chose to be in my life during my early twenties when I was so insecure and
unstable12, he responded, "I saw you for your essence. And that has always been a constant."
当问起一个密友为什么在我不谙世事的20多岁就选择我做朋友时，他回答：“我看到了你的本性，本性难移。”
If you want to truly see someone, look past their words, their charm and their
charisma13. Look past their disposition and even their mistakes. Look past the presentation and you'll find their essence. Because while everything superficial can change, one's nature does not.
如果你想真正了解一个人，那就要挖掘他们语言、容貌、魅力、性情和错误背后的东西。揭去面纱，才会发现本质。因为一切表面的东西可以改变，而一个人的本性却会一直保持下去。
6. Be selective of who you share your heart and body with.
选择能与之分享身心的朋友。
We harm our spirit when we go against the integrity of our own values. Know your boundaries and what you are willing and not willing to negotiate. And remember, just because something feels good in the present moment doesn't mean it's a healthy decision for your future.
当与自己价值观的完整性背道而驰时，我们将会伤到元气。了解你的底线和妥协基准。记住现在觉得不错的决定并非就意味利于未来发展。
Ask the right questions so you don't keep making the same mistakes. What sort of relationship do you want to attract in your life? Is the decision you are making bringing you closer to that or
steering14 you off that path?
找准问题，这样才不会总在同一处跌倒。你想在生活中拥有什么样的关系？你要做的决定会带你走近理想还是偏离轨道？
你的身体不是铁打的。
Unfortunately many of us wait until there is a health scare, and then react to fix it, instead of being proactive to avoid it. Your immune system is critical to identifying and destroying foreign and potentially cancerous cells.
不幸地是，我们许多人等着健康受到威胁才会警醒，而不是去提早预防。你的免疫系统对识别和摧毁非正常和潜在癌细胞至关重要。
Stress, not eating, eating unhealthy food -- these can all be factors that contribute to weakening your immune system. And when it's weakened, those mutated cells are not recognized by your immune system.
压力、禁食、食用不健康食品都会削弱你的免疫系统。免疫系统功能一旦降低，就识别不出发生突变的细胞了。
The bad cells are then nourished just like healthy cells, causing the cells to duplicate and potentially become cancerous cells.
这些坏家伙如同健康细胞一样受到滋养并自我复制，有可能转变成癌细胞。
Take care of your body. Even if you think you're invincible, consider that it is the people who love you that will suffer if something were to happen to your health. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for the people who care about you.
关爱你的身体。即使你认为自己强壮无敌，但试想一下，如果你的健康出了问题，爱你的人们就会遭秧。即使不为自己，也为关心你的人去爱护自己的身体。
8. When it doesn't work out with someone in the present, it's because it's meant to work out with someone else in the future.
即使这一点目前帮不上你，那一定会在日后对其他人有所帮助。
It applies to relationships and opportunities as well. We can get so caught up expecting a particular outcome, only to get overwhelmed by disappointment when things don't pan out the way we planned.
这一点同样适用于关系和机遇。我们可能热切期待着一个特别的惊喜，但当事情没有按计划实现时，却得到被失望淹没的结果。
During the moment, it may feel that life is out of sorts, but have faith that there is a bigger, better plan for you, and each person that touches your life is just preparing you for the person you're meant to be with.
此时，你可能感觉生活不如意，但要坚信一个更大、更美好的计划在等你，界入你生活的每个人都在打造你，让你成为你想成为的那个人。
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