《出租车司机》英语话剧剧本

　　by Sofia Chen陳南妤

　　一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情。烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察，甚至还遇到了鬼。。。

　　Cast

　　Erin Chang: Robber

　　Debby Tsai: Police officer

　　Serrin Lee: Betel nut girl

　　Alec Zhao: Ghost student

　　Leo Lee: Taxi driver

　　Yi-ling Chen: Pregnant¹ woman

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　　Summary

　　This story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass² him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student.

　　Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go?

　　Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I’m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please.

　　Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there’s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you’re going to Chong-Shan North Road?

　　Betel nut girl: Um, I’m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later.

　　Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You’re probably not married since you’re so young. Do you have a girlfriend?

　　Tommy: Um…miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look?

　　Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don’t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax.

　　Tommy: What…what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I’ll scream!

　　Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off.

　　Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you.

　　Betel nut girl: Um! Take it!

　　Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi!

　　Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man.

　　Tommy: Where are you going?

　　Pregnant woman: Hospital, please.

　　Tommy: You’re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must be very tiring carrying a baby.

　　Pregnant woman: Yeah. It’s almost nine months.

　　Tommy: Woo. Congratulations.

　　Pregnant woman: Thank you.

　　Pregnant woman: (screaming)

　　Tommy: Are you ok?

　　Pregnant woman: (screaming)

　　Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down.

　　Pregnant woman: (screaming)

　　Tommy: We’re almost there.

　　Pregnant woman: (screaming)

　　Tommy: Here we are.

　　Pregnant woman: Are we at the hospital? Well, how much is it?

　　Tommy: Aren’t you going into labor³?

　　Pregnant woman: Me? Are you kidding? It’s still a long time before the expected date of childbirth.

　　Tommy: What? Well, what were you just doing?

　　Pregnant woman: Oh, I was just practicing! This is my first time to have a baby, you know. Practice makes perfect! I need to be ready so it will go smoothly⁴.

　　Tommy: Practice! All right… well, the total is one hundred twenty dollars.

　　Tommy: This woman was so strange! I thought she was going to deliver the baby in my car!

　　Robber: Get out of here, quickly!

　　Tommy: A strange pregnant woman just got off my car and now here comes a robber.

　　Tommy: Where do you want to go?

　　Robber: Shut up! Just drive!

　　Tommy: Hey…Hey. Be careful, there’s no eye in bullets.

　　Robber: Shut up! Just drive your car.

　　Tommy: Ok! Ok! You are the boss.

　　Robber: Hum…your gold necklace is very good looking. If it were on my neck, that would be nice.

　　Tommy: Oh…com…come on, don’t do this to me. This is a fake⁵ one. I just try to look tough by wearing it.

　　Robber: STOP nonsense!! Don’t treat me like a fool, I warn you! I will shoot you!

　　Tommy: OK! OK! Take it easy. My mouth is sealed.

　　Robber: .... I don’t want to do this …really… but I have 6 brothers, 7 sisters and 8 kids to feed. I even have to sell chewing gums, raise pigs. The worse of all, my husband just got out of the jail…I really have no choice.

　　Tommy: Don’t be so sad…. Here is tissue.

　　Robber: Thank you. Now give me your gold necklace! Hurry up! Do you want to eat bullets!!

　　Tommy: But…but…but….

　　Robber: Just hand it to me or I’ll become a really bad guy!!

　　Tommy: I don’t want to die yet.

　　The police: Beep~Beep~ stop the car.

　　Tommy: OH! Thank God! I am safe now! Hey, cop, a robber wants to rob me and….

　　Police officer: Show me your license⁶ and registration⁷.

　　Tommy: But…sir.…I got a robber in my back….

　　Police officer: I only watch out for traffic! The public security is not my business.

　　Tommy: Not your business? But…

　　Police officer: Here’s your ticket. You were speeding.

　　Tommy: But I got a robber in my car! She told me if I couldn’t drive fast enough, she’d shoot me.

　　Police officer: And where is the robber?

　　Tommy: Just right over….what!! She’s gone; she was here just now….

　　Police officer: See….your lie is stupid… Remember to take the ticket.

　　Tommy: Sir! Sir!

　　Tommy: I’m so unlucky. Today is not my day! Oh, no! How did I come to this middle-of-nowhere? Someone’s waving at me. Who would take a taxi in this strange place?

　　Tommy: Hello! Serving you is my honor. Where do you want to go? Ghost student: To my home, please.

　　Tommy: Um…can you say it more clearly? I don’t know where your home is.

　　Ghost student: Oh, my home is located on Ta-Du Mountain.

　　Tommy: No problem. Um… it’s an unusual place to live.

　　Ghost student: Yes. It’s very special. My ancestors all lived here.

　　Tommy: Oh! You’ve lived here for a long time, right?

　　Ghost student: That’s right.

　　Tommy: Here we are, but I don’t see any houses around. By the way, it’s so dark here.

　　Ghost student: Don’t be so surprised. We’re in the mountain.

　　Tommy: Are you sure your home is here?

　　Ghost student: Yes. How much is it?

　　Tommy: Um…The total is 100 dollars.

　　Ghost student: I only have a 500 dollars bill.

　　Tommy: That’s OK, I can give you change.

　　Ghost student: There you go.

　　Tommy: Um... What’s this?

　　Ghost student: Money.

　　Tommy: But...where did he go? Oh, no!…This is…ghost money…(screaming)

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