GRE作文入门和进阶三

　　29.“Public figures such as actors， politicians， and athletes should expect people to be interested in their private lives. When they seek a public role， they should expect that they will lose at least some of their privacy.”

　　(病历文)

　　Everyone has the right to keep his/her privacy， including the public figures. People have the nature to learn others' privacy， especially those of the celebrities¹ for various reasons， such as reverance and curiousness， but it doesn't follow that they are entitled to pry² others' private life， and it is really unfair to say that any public figure choose to expose his/her privacy by himself/herself as long as he/she seek a public role.

　　In the current days， it is a widely spread atmosphere that people take a strong interest in talking about the private life of celebrities， they even rival each other in the fact that who knows more about a common interested celebrity³. To cater⁴ such a taste， more and more mass media try their best to collect each aspect of a public figure's private life with an interest even exceeding that of making known their work. When we read a entertainment paper or magazine， we are certain to find that most of the content are the private life of singers and stars， such as someone got a divorce with his/her ex-girlfried/ex-boyfriend and is now keeping contract with someone else， etc.

　　All that exists is not valid⁵， we couldn't say that it is in reason to spy into others' privacy just because most people prefer to do so， and we should not just accept a unfair fact without exert any effort to change the circumstance. To put your own feet in the shoes of the public figures， do you feel comfortable to be watched everywhere you go， and find a lot of affair news about you in the media especially when most of the news are made out by the pressmen? If your answer to this question is no， you should agree that we are obliged to do something to change the current situation about the private lift of public figures. Special laws should be enacted⁶ to discipline the prying⁷ into privacy of the mass media， sound should be heared arguing again people's interest in celebrities' private life.

　　Only when the public figures are librated from the harassment⁸ of worrying about their privacy's protection， we can expect a better service from them， and in that case， more capable people will be attract to pursue a public role. Suppose that if a singer is followed everywhere he/she goes， how can he/she lead a normal life as common people， how can he/she gets a relaxation⁹? He/she must be cautious when he/she every words， he/she can't expect a casual and relaxing atmosphere as every common people can enjoy. It is difficult for him/her to concentrate all their energy in working， as a consequence， we would lose some more brilliant performance we can expect otherwise.

　　In summary， we should call on the public to cease to spy into the celebrities' privacy and pay more attention to their public life， only in that way can the public figure enjoy their life better and can we expect a better service from them. (496 words)评析：这篇文章的主要失误来自作者未能仔细审题便下笔一蹴而就，题目所讨论的对象明明是Public Figures，从头到尾讨论的主体居然成了Public，说他们如何如何关注明星隐私，说他们如何如何设身处地地为明星们着想，最后总结说是公众应还明星们于自由之躯，把一上来合理的“否定回应”抛之脑后，从而导致文章“答非所问”。考虑到文章一上来合理回应，以及不错的语言表达，仅有几处不起眼的拼写错误，应判为“2分”(有严重错误类文章)。

　　在出示范文之前，我们就此题谈谈“审题”和“回应”这两个基本问题。

 

分享到：