英语搞笑小品剧本

　　N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!

　　S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……??? Oops¹! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.?

　　Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)

　　Now press, press……

　　Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……

　　Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!

　　Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!

　　One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）Wow, everything is ready!

　　糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)Scene2（At the school gate）

　　?? N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!

　　A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!

　　M: Let’s ask him.

　　A: OK!

　　C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）

　　M&A: Why?

　　C: I’m dirty！

　　M: No, you look nice!

　　C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）

　　M&A: How much are they?

　　S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）

　　M&A: Money?(对视)

　　M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）

　　A: Me too.

　　S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)

　　M: What can we do now?

　　A: Let’s ask dad for money.

　　M: But how to ask?

　　A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）M: Good idea!(全部下场)

　　Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）

　　N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever.? (爸爸看报)M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)A: And play the guitar for us!

　　M: We know you play so well!

　　(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)

　　D: Oh? What a bright day today!

　　M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)

　　D:OKOK! Let’s.

　　(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?

　　M&A: Of course!

　　(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。)D: What’s the matter?

　　M: Dad, we have no money!

　　A: Can we have some please?

　　D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.

　　M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.

　　A: They look so sweet and nice!

　　M: Other students always buy them!

　　D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间)M: What shall we do now?

　　A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)M: Dad, I want a new eraser!

　　A: I want a longer ruler!

　　M&A: Dad, please！

　　D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!

　　M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）

　　D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?

　　M&A: Yes, sir!

　　D: Here you are !( 给钱)

　　M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.

　　(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）

　　A: …….

　　D: What’s wrong?

　　M: I’ve a stomachache!

　　A: Me too!

　　D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?

　　M: Yes. We had some candies just now.

　　A: I had some too!

　　D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）M: But they look nice!

　　A: And tastes good!

　　M&A: Aiyo……

　　D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!

　　M&A: OK.

　　Scene 4: (At the school gate)

　　N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.

　　(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)

　　P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!

　　C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!

　　M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）

　　D: He?

　　(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)

　　P: What’s the matter with them?

　　D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.

　　S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty²? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）S: OK. I know. (羞愧)

　　C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.

　　Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.

　　D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?

　　M&A: OK, dad!

　　P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.

　　D: OK, Let’s go.

　　N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon³ must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

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