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李清照《声声慢》英译赏析(一)

时间:2017-04-10 12:37:54

(单词翻译:单击)

   例1、 寻寻觅觅,冷冷清清,凄凄惨惨戚戚。

  林译:So dim, so dark,/ So dense1, so dull,/ So damp, so dank,/ So dead!
  杨译:Seeking, seeking,/ Chilly2 and quiet,/ Desolate3, painful and miserable4.
  徐译:I’ve a sense of something missing I must seek./ Everything about me looks dismal5 and bleak6. / Nothing that gives me pleasure, I can find.
  许译:I look for what I miss;/ I know not what it is./ I feel so sad, so drear,/ So lonely, without cheer.
  解析:1)林译全部选用单音节词,押头韵,且词语的选用层层递进,可谓独具匠心。“dim”和“dark”表明天色已晚, “dense”和“dull”展现了浓重不化,寻觅不得的忧愁和失落,继而“damp”和“dank”渲染阴冷凄苦的氛围,最后“dead”推向高潮,体现了词人绝望无助,凄凉痛苦的内心。译文言语简练,内涵丰富。
  2)杨译用七个形容词对应七对叠字,生动形象地展现了词人情感的变化,由表及里,层层深入。
  3)徐译,相较而言,不免显得不够简短。译者另辟蹊径,将词诗歌化,但由于句子偏长,翻译得过于明白,失去了原词的意境。
  4)许译增加了主语,点明了寻觅之物是“what I miss”,似乎过于直白,少了原词的委婉朦胧之感。译者韵脚的选择十分用心,“miss”与汉语“觅”音似,“cheer”与“戚”相似。
  例2、 乍暖还寒时候,最难将息。
  林译:The weather, now warm, now cold,/ Makes it harder/ Than ever to forget!
  杨译:Even when it’s warmer there is still a chill, / It is most difficult to keep well.
  徐译:Even the weather has proved most unkind. / It is warm, but abruptly7 it turns cold again. / An unbroken rest-most difficult to obtain.
  许译:How hard is it / To keep me fit / In this lingering cold!
  解析:这两句说明天气突然转暖,却仍然寒意未消。变化无常的天气,也影响着人们的心情。而词人此时生活颠沛流离,心中愁思满满,更兼无常的天气,更难休息和修养。
  1)林译将“最难将息”译成“最难忘记”,与原词的意思出入较大。
  2)杨译较为完整地呈现了原词的意境和意思。
  3)徐译译文明白易懂,但不够含蓄委婉。
  4)许译调整了原词的语序,“lingering cold”点明了“还寒”,但未说明“乍暖”,丢失了原文信息。
  例3、 三杯两盏淡酒,怎敌他、晚来风急?
  林译:How can a few cups of thin wine/ Bring warmth against/ The chilly winds of sunset?
  杨译:Three or two cups of light wine, / How can they ward8 off the strong morning wind?
  徐译:Three cups of thin wine would utterly9 fail- / To cope with the rising evening gale10.
  许译:By cup on cup/ Of wine so dry/ Oh, how could I/ Endure at dusk the drift/ Of wind so swift?
  解析:1)三杯两盏只是一个笼统的概念,翻译方式多样,四位译者的翻译都可以。
  2)原文的“敌”字,选词巧妙,生动传神,而四位译者对“敌”的处理,完全不同。相比较而言徐译的“cope with”和许译的“endure”力度不够,不及其他两位译者选用的“ward off”和“against”。
  3)有三位译者保留原文的反问句式。反问、设问、感叹等句式语气都较为强烈,一般的翻译做法是与原文句式保持一致。且在译文风格上,许译相较于他者,风格较为不同,尤为突出的是“Oh, how could I”,使译文更具英诗风格。
  例4、 雁过也,正伤心、却是旧时相识。
  林译:I recognize the geese flying overhead:/ My old friends, / Bring not the old memories back!
  杨译:Wild geese fly past, while I’m broken-hearted; / But I recognize they are my old friends.
  徐译:Myself, into woe11, a flight of wild geese has thrown./ But with them, very familiar I have grown.
  许译:It breaks my heart, alas,/ To see the wild geese pass, / Foe12 they are my acquaintances of old.
  解析:1)自古鸿雁传书,雁是古时人们互通书信的重要工具。亲人分离,山河破碎,正伤痛,又看到雁飞过,恐怕传递的又是坏消息,更何况还是旧相识。旧愁新苦涌上心头,更添悲痛。
  2)这一句,虽短短十二个字,情感却是不断变化的。纵观四中译文,大部分不能传递出文字深层次含义,雁、伤心、旧相识之间的关系表达地不够紧密。唯有林译独辟蹊径,对原文进行了较大改动,特别是最后一句“bring not the old memories back!”道出了旧相识却反增其悲的原因。

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1 dense aONzX     
a.密集的,稠密的,浓密的;密度大的
参考例句:
  • The general ambushed his troops in the dense woods. 将军把部队埋伏在浓密的树林里。
  • The path was completely covered by the dense foliage. 小路被树叶厚厚地盖了一层。
2 chilly pOfzl     
adj.凉快的,寒冷的
参考例句:
  • I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
  • I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后,寒气逼人。
3 desolate vmizO     
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂
参考例句:
  • The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
  • We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后,我们都觉得万分孤寂。
4 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
参考例句:
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
5 dismal wtwxa     
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的
参考例句:
  • That is a rather dismal melody.那是一支相当忧郁的歌曲。
  • My prospects of returning to a suitable job are dismal.我重新找到一个合适的工作岗位的希望很渺茫。
6 bleak gtWz5     
adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的
参考例句:
  • They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
  • The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。
7 abruptly iINyJ     
adv.突然地,出其不意地
参考例句:
  • He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
  • I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。
8 ward LhbwY     
n.守卫,监护,病房,行政区,由监护人或法院保护的人(尤指儿童);vt.守护,躲开
参考例句:
  • The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
  • During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时,我要点根火把,抵挡蚊虫。
9 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
10 gale Xf3zD     
n.大风,强风,一阵闹声(尤指笑声等)
参考例句:
  • We got our roof blown off in the gale last night.昨夜的大风把我们的房顶给掀掉了。
  • According to the weather forecast,there will be a gale tomorrow.据气象台预报,明天有大风。
11 woe OfGyu     
n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌
参考例句:
  • Our two peoples are brothers sharing weal and woe.我们两国人民是患难与共的兄弟。
  • A man is well or woe as he thinks himself so.自认祸是祸,自认福是福。
12 foe ygczK     
n.敌人,仇敌
参考例句:
  • He knew that Karl could be an implacable foe.他明白卡尔可能会成为他的死敌。
  • A friend is a friend;a foe is a foe;one must be clearly distinguished from the other.敌是敌,友是友,必须分清界限。