女人择偶该以人品为标准还是金钱为标准

　　钓个金龟婿似乎看起来已经过时了。

　　But one Mumsnet user asked whether women should still be encouraged to ’marry well’ and find a man who earns enough to support the family financially.

　　但是Mumsnet（英国著名育儿网站）一名用户最近问到，是否仍然应该鼓励女性“嫁得好”，找一个挣钱足够多可以养家的人。

　　The question divided opinion. Some said ’marrying well’ should not mean finding a rich man but rather a partner who is ’kind and clever with a strong work ethic’ while others warned it was ’idealistic’ to think all women can be financially independent.

　　人们对这个问题的分歧很大。一些人表认为“嫁得好”不应找一个有钱的男人，而是应该找一个“善良、聪明、有良好的职业道德”的人；而另一些人则警告称认为所有女性都可以经济上独立是“不切实际的”。

　　Taking to the online forum², Mumsnet user windygallows, who is in her 40s, said she could see the way some of her friends benefited from having a wealthy husband. It allowed them to be stay-at-home mothers without the financial worries.

　　在Mumsnet上提问的是一个40多岁的女性“windygallows”，她说她看到自己一些朋友嫁个有钱丈夫之后得到了很多好处。这使得她们可以待在家里做全职妈妈，而不用担心财政上的问题。

　　She explained that as a single mother she had experienced first-hand the ’slog’ of raising a child on one salary, adding: ’Marrying well doesn’t mean a good marriage or relationship but it does make things easier.’

　　她解释说，作为一个单身妈妈，她亲身经历了用一个人的薪水抚养一个孩子的“艰辛”，她说道：“嫁得好并不一定意味着良好的婚姻和关系，但是的确能让事情轻松不少。”

　　She also argued that speaking to daughters about ’marrying well’ was a ’realistic’ way to tackle the problem.

　　她还认为，与女儿谈论“嫁得好”是解决这一问题的“现实”方式。

　　The post sparked dozens of responses. One user said looking for a wealthy partner would help deal with the ’sad truth’ that even those who work hard can struggle financially.

　　这篇帖子引来了数十个回复。一名用户表示称，找一个有钱丈夫的确有助于应对这个“可悲的真相”——即使那些努力工作的人金钱上也不宽裕。

　　So you need family money. And if you haven’t got it, life will be easier if you find someone who has,’ the user wrote.

　　这位用户写道：“你需要钱来养家，而如果你自己挣不到，找个能挣钱的人生活就会简单许多。”

　　Another pointed³ out that her husband’s salary had helped her maintain a good lifestyle even after she became disabled and could no longer work.

　　另一名用户则表示，虽然她成为残疾人不能够再工作，但是她丈夫的薪水还是帮她维持了不错的生活。

　　The user wrote: ’Very fortunately my [husband] is in the top 0.1% of earners so yes I have this disability which impacts hugely on my life; but I am lucky I do not have to think about money and my life would without question be very, very hard as I am not able to earn.’

　　这名用户写道：“非常幸运的是，我丈夫是收入最高的那0.1%中的人。所以虽然残疾严重影响了我的生活，我却很幸运不用考虑钱的问题，而我的生活也不会因为我无法挣钱而变得非常非常艰难。”

　　However other users blasted the ’anti-feminist view’. Several pointed out that marrying rich does not guarantee stability or happiness.

　　然而其他用户抨击了这一“反女权主义观点”。有人指出嫁给有钱人并不能保证稳定和幸福。

　　One posted: ’50 per cent of marriages end in divorce and it’s the SAHMs [stay at home mothers] who end up with the most shitty deals in the world when their husbands swan off with an OW [other woman].

　　有人回复称：“50%的婚姻最终以离婚为结局，而当她们丈夫移情别恋时，提出结束这段婚姻的正是那些待在家里无所事事的母亲们。”

　　’Instead, women need to be financially independent and refuse to give up that independence to become dependent on their husband.’

　　“相反，女性需要经济独立，而不应放弃这一独立依附于她们的丈夫。”

　　Others said ’marrying well’ should focus on personal qualities, not a bank balance.

　　另外一些人则表示“嫁得好”应该关注的是对方的人品，而不是银行账户。

　　Parents of sons also weighed in, saying they would not want their children to marry a woman who wanted to be ’bankrolled’. One posted: ’The idea of someone marrying him for money makes my blood run cold.’

　　男孩儿的父母们也加入了辩论，纷纷表示他们不会让自己的孩子娶一个把丈夫当作“提款机”的女人。其中一位家长写道：“一想到有人嫁给我的儿子只是为了钱，我的心就凉了。”

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